I have not been to this site for over 10 years. Before that, I had lost 2 men, both, were my future, one at 20...and again..at 33...Both, I lost, in an 'instant' the first one, was a car accident...and it left me so angry..we were both so young and our futures..looked so full. The second..I opened my heart up..after being so cold for so long..and his loss, left me devastated...I had loved him for 8 years, and we had talked of our future, and then he was gone! With a phone call from his mother, I heard he was dead. I totally broke down..but like you...friends we had..stopped calling, stopped looking at me! Even my family didn't know how to react.
I was alone..literally...for 2 years..before I realized I would need help to get through this. I went to a grief counsellor. She helped me to see, how others around us, feel helpless, they think they need to say something...they don't realize..that all we need is for them to 'stay'!
I finally found the courage, to talk to a few of my friends, that I wanted to keep. Explained that I needed them. That they didn't have to say anything, but to just be there.
It helped, a little, but it will take time. Those that aren't strong enough will pull away. They feel helpless. Those that are stronger, will stay, but may be harsh and say things like "get over it" too soon...you NEVER get over it..you learn to live your life..differently.
If you ever need to chat, please email newbielink:mailto:
[email protected] [nonactive] will try to help.