Author Topic: Will I ever recover from this tragedy?  (Read 16943 times)

gabrielle01

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Will I ever recover from this tragedy?
« on: January 31, 2008, 01:43:25 PM »
Today is one week since I received the call at work, letting me know that my sisters body had been found in an isolated area, in a ravine. She was murdered by a man that she didn't know, although the media is stating that they were acquaintances. I saw her body, before she was cremated. I suppose that I wasn't suppose to but I burst in unannounced. Her husband made the decision to cremate her and I knew it was my last chance to say goodbye. After her Memorial Service, I went to the place that she died and placed beautiful flowers there for her. It is my every waking thought to find why she was murdered, and make certain that this man never leaves prison. I loved her, we walked different paths in life and I always knew that she would one day return to me and we could be as close as we ever were, we never fought or argued. She just drifted in a different direction.

Lonnie

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Re: Will I ever recover from this tragedy?
« Reply #1 on: February 01, 2008, 01:29:56 AM »
Gabrielle01: My heart goes out to you. I can only imagine the shock you are going through to lose your sister in such a tragic way. I am so very sorry for your loss, and I hope your family can bring to justice the person who murdered her.
Your story of seeing her one last time broke my heart. I understand your need to do so. I hope you will find comfort and a listening ear here.There are so many kind, and caring posters!
There are quite a few sibling posters, and I am sure they can relate to your loss. Join us anytime also on the Main Board when you feel like it. Bless you-you're in my prayers-Lonnie

gabrielle01

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Re: Will I ever recover from this tragedy?
« Reply #2 on: February 01, 2008, 05:28:11 PM »
Thank You Lonnie, I would love to join you, I hope that I could possibly help someone else who is hurting as I am. Thank You So Much for your kind and loving words.           

Jparks

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Re: Will I ever recover from this tragedy?
« Reply #3 on: February 07, 2008, 12:06:10 AM »
I am so sorry Gab to hear of your loss. Your subject line asks if you will ever recover. My opinion is no. You do not ever fully recover. You learn to adjust your life around what happened I think. To fully recover would be to fully forget, and none of us with any heart could ever do that. Do not despair though. It has been close to 2 years since I lost my little brother and close to 5 months since I lost my soulmate if you will. I have not recovered, but I am finding healing in trying to help others. It is so easy to take life for granted and my goal is to show that to people without being overbearing or turning it into a crusade. It is just one of many things I can do to help me alleviate my own pain. You will find your own answers in time if you are honest with yourself and you let your grief come out. I ray you and your family find the peace you need to continue on in life.

gabrielle01

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Re: Will I ever recover from this tragedy?
« Reply #4 on: February 07, 2008, 06:23:34 AM »
Thank You So Much! You are a wonderful person. Bless You for all your wonderful work to help others.

laurenE

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Re: Will I ever recover from this tragedy?
« Reply #5 on: February 07, 2008, 10:09:49 AM »
Gabrielle,

I had not seen this post earlier.  OMG  I am so sorry.    What a horrible horrible way to loose someone,   a sister,  someone you loved so dearly.    I hurt for you. 

In a way I'm kinda glad you were able to see her one last time.  I mean I think it would be horrible but at the same time you did what you needed to do.   It helps to accept the death of someone when you can see the body.   I'm so glad you didnt cheat yourself out of that opportunity.

My younger sister has also drifted in another direction.   I dont know anything about her anymore really.   I feel your pain there.   She moved many states away,  and I worry that she too will end up in a ravine,  and I wont even know it,  bc we are not in touch anymore.    I sure hope not,  but I hurt for all of the mixed emotions you must be feeling right now.   

Please continue to post here.  It helps to talk about it.

lauren

gabrielle01

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Re: Will I ever recover from this tragedy?
« Reply #6 on: February 09, 2008, 07:13:09 PM »
Thank You So Much Lauren!! I do know what you are saying also and how you are feeling. If any way possible, try to find your sister, talk to her at least one more time and let her know you are there for her. How I wish I had never let up on her but  now its too late, I just always knew in my heart that she would come back to me and everything would be good again. She met the wrong man, they married and that was the beginning of the end for her. Today, at work, I was at the bedside of one of my patients who was actively passing, trying my best to make her as comfortable as I possibly could, my mind went to my sister lying there in the cold with no one there to hold and comfort her, only pain and fear as she drifted away, and my heart continues to break. Please don't let this heart break happen to you Lauren. Please let me know If I can do Anything to help you!!!

laurenE

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Re: Will I ever recover from this tragedy?
« Reply #7 on: February 12, 2008, 07:01:21 AM »
gabrielle,

Thank you for offering to help.

 So many times I have googled her name,  only to find no information on her.    There is a part of me that is afraid of finding her,  for fear of more verbal abuse...or worse,  more rejection.    There is a part of me that is tired of being the one to make the  efforts to  restore the relationship.   Sometimes I think its a game she plays.."a mexican standoff"  ..."lets see who gives in first". 

  I have no idea why she is angry at me,  and have made many many efforts to ask her why over the last 15 yrs.  I have offered family counseling at my expense,   and really thought that she would come running to me for comfort after mom died,  since i was her 2nd mom.   This has been my biggest disappointment,  that she hasnt come to me.  IN fact, she moved away and I dont know what shes up to of if she is even safe.   I have no idea how this will all turn out.  I wish I did.  but I dont.

Thanks gabrielle,

lauren

Landons Mom Shelly

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Re: Will I ever recover from this tragedy?
« Reply #8 on: February 12, 2008, 10:12:42 AM »
(((((((((Gabrielle)))))))))),

Just happened upon your post and I am so sorry for your loss, what a terrible tragedy you've suffered and continue to suffer through the loss and your sister.  This board is amazing, it has helped me over the past 8 months tremendously after losing my precious 11 y/o son Landon this past June and I hope the wonderful people here bring you some comfort as well.

Thinking of you, saying a prayer for your family and your wonderful sister,

God bless,


Landon's Mom forever,

Shelly
Landon's Mom forever,

Shelly



My Precious Little Landon -- Forever in our Hearts        http://landon-greenan.gonetoosoon.org
August 1, 1995 - June 1, 2007

sweetpea

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Re: Will I ever recover from this tragedy?
« Reply #9 on: February 15, 2008, 06:02:43 AM »
Hello, Gabrielle 

So sorry for your loss. Even though right now it may seem like things can't ever change from the way you are feeling right now, things will get better. Everyone grieves in different ways. It is a long process of healing but it will get better. Just keep comimg back to the boards talking or just reading others life experiances  we all will grow, and heal together.

My prayers are with you, and your family.

Sweetpea

sweetpea

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Re: Will I ever recover from this tragedy?
« Reply #10 on: February 16, 2008, 08:18:04 AM »
Dear Lauren,

I too am sorry about your sister , that you have no idea of her whereabouts. It is such an awful and terrible feeling wondering where she could be. I too was in such a position, with my younger sister. She left  without even a word.

 I found out one night while preparing for work for the next day,  I was  watching the 11o'clock news . The report stated a woman had left her 2 children with a babysitter for over a week and had not returned !!!! I didn't really pay any attention until they showed pictures of My Niece!!!! I didn't recognize my Nephew because he was only 2 weeks old!!!! I was in total shock....

I thought that she had to be DEAD!!!!! Someone had to have killed her if she didn't get her children!!!!! this nightmare when on for 6 years....not a word nothing, the police really didn't even try to find her. Everyone I saw I thought was my Sister!!!! it was awful..... then out of the blue, late one night my sister called ME!!!!!! I almost had a heart attack   I had given her up for dead..... she came back.   

I tell you this because I want you to know there's always hope !!!!! don't give up!!!!! I never dreamed I would ever see or hear my sister again but I DID......

I AM PRAYING FOR YOU 

Sweetpea
« Last Edit: February 16, 2008, 08:25:23 AM by sweetpea »

laurenE

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Re: Will I ever recover from this tragedy?
« Reply #11 on: February 16, 2008, 08:23:55 AM »
Wow Sweatpea,

thats quite a story.  You do give me hope.  Thank  you for sharing it with me.    And I am so glad your sister showed up.   

I have to admit,  personally  I think after the shock wore off,  I would kick her butt,   then maybe we could start finding out what in the world she had been up to.   :D

sweetpea

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Re: Will I ever recover from this tragedy?
« Reply #12 on: February 16, 2008, 08:29:40 AM »
Lauren, Oh after the shock, I did butt heads with my sister!!!!!!!! she had to answer alot of questions it was trial by fire let me tellyou :D :D this happened over 22 years ago. We are closer than ever the way sister's are suppose to be!!!! I am the big sister she's the baby sister

Sweetpea

laurenE

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Re: Will I ever recover from this tragedy?
« Reply #13 on: February 21, 2008, 10:59:40 AM »
I am the oldest as well.  She is the baby (emphasis on baby  :D)

Again, thank you.   Maybe there is hope for me too.

sweetpea

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Re: Will I ever recover from this tragedy?
« Reply #14 on: February 21, 2008, 06:02:41 PM »
Lauren, there is hope for us all. I am praying for you that your sister is all right and that she gets in touch with you, so that both of you can be the family that you were meant to be. :)  You are forever in my thoughts and prayers 

Sweetpea