Lost my father & my sister

[rosie o]

Last year I lost my dad, and 3 weeks ago today I lost my younger sister. The grief of losing both of them is overwhelming. I was just starting to adjust to the loss of my dad, when my sister passed. I have not even begun to process that. Sometimes the mind can only handle so much grief, and then you push it to the back until you can finally address it. My sister was only 50 years old and she died of a heart attack. She left 2 daughters and 2 granddaughters. I will miss her forever.

[Robyn]

Rosie O,

I am so very sorry to hear of your loss.  I lost my dad in August 2006 and my sister and her full term baby in March 2007.  She was 34(only a few hours away from 35.)
It is awful and I know how awful you must be feeling.  I too was just coming to terms with the fact that my dad was gone when my sister passed.  It has been 9 months and I still can't believe it is true.
Please chat more, maybe we can help each other in some way.
Robyn

[kelly37]

Rosie O
I too share a similar loss with you.  I lost my brother 6 years ago in a motorcycle accident.  5 years later, I loose my dad to the same thing!!  Life is not fair & the pain is still there!  Memories are all I have & sometimes the thoughts are painful. I remember their faces, their smiles, their smells & memories are supposed to brings smiles....but to me they bring tears & heart ache!! I want my dad & brother here w/us.  I look at family pics of happy times & see everything I took for granted. I try not to take anything for granted these days b/c you never know what tomorrow brings!

I was "adjusting" to the loss of my brother also when an accident then took my dad! I do believe I have post traumatic stress disorder now due to what I've been through! I watched my dad slowly fade from me in a hospital bed for 18 days. That itself is very traumatizing to a 36 yr old who is the "baby" of the family. My mom was in another room across the hall from my dad in ICU as she too was in the accident -- all I could think was my brother is dead, my sister was out of state who do I call for help?---I wasn't supposed to be talking to drs & nurses about my parents care on that beautiful summer day!!  I have visions of what I went through up at that hospital & every once in a while I see little times I talked to him before surgery & how "normal" he appeared. Then he went away for that surgery & never came back to us!  I see the fear in my dad's eyes as he was wheeled to surgery--I should've hugged him more & kissed his cheek again. I want it all back.

It all sickens me to think of it! My gut aches, my heart hurts, my head hurts....everything is so unfair!  My kids' uncle & grandpa will never see them play sports, dance, graduate, get married etc....It's just not fair!

You are still fresh in the grieving process!  Give yourself some time to adjust. I can say from my own experience life will never be the same but time will slowly heal the ache.  You will be able to smile again someday & then there will be days when it's fresh & you'll cry!  Please come often & share more stories of them when you're ready.  We're here to  listen....
Take care of yourself,
Kelly