webhealing.com
Crisis, Grief, and Healing => Child Loss => Topic started by: Riss24 on October 16, 2014, 09:39:13 PM
-
Hi,
I guess this is where I introduce myself? I'm new obviously, forgive me. First of all I hate that I'm a member of this now, hate that any of us are! but I'm thankful there's this place where I can now vent, ask for help and support from you who've been here awhile. My precious and beloved 21 year old daughter died June 4th of an accidental drug overdose. It's been just over 4 months and most days I still feel like dying myself. Every day is hard to get through. But before I go on and on about this, I've specifically gotten on this site for the first time today because I'm stressing and hoping someone here can help...My daughter who died has a twin sister and their birthday is coming up November 24th, as if the holidays won't be hard enough. For the first time in her life, my girl will be having a birthday without her "other half" and I'm just so sad for her. Any advice on how to "celebrate" or how to prepare myself and my daughter for this day? She has thus far been coping unusually well, actually I don't believe it's really hit her but she's expressed that it's getting harder for her as their birthday nears. Any input would be appreciated!
-
Dear Riss24!
I´m sorry for your loss!
Hug you from the heart!
Janka
-
((((((((Riss))))))))
I'm so sorry to learn that your precious daughter died. I'm glad you found us here at Webhealing but agree that no one ever wants to join a club such as this.
I came to Webhealing when my surviving son of 29 years died. His angel date is in January and it will be 13 years. As I type this I find it hard to believe it has been that long. I also lost two other children; a little girl, 4 named Michelle Marie and my baby, Salvatore. Although I have learned to live with the pain of missing them, the hole in my heart remains.
Your great loss is still so raw since it's so recent. Getting through all of those *firsts* is very difficult and please know that I am here for you through every date you face.
Regarding how to celebrate or to prepare yourself and your daughter for the first date....I can't advise other than just to be yourself and feel everything that you need to and also allow your daughter to do the same. It's healthy to express our emotions and it's healthy to cry. I honestly can't remember a lot of those firsts as I was still in shock, waiting for them to come back. In my mind I knew they were dead but it took my heart a much longer time to accept it. Your daughter being a twin must be having a very difficult time. I would let her know how very much you love her and give her lots of hugs. You both need lots of hugs right now.
You shared that she's coping exceptionally well and you may be right that she's still in shock. We all grieve very differently and there are no set stages when grieving, contrary to all of the information collected on grief from many sources.
Tell me more about your daughter. I would love to get to know the person she was. And, if you would like to post a picture of her, I would be happy to help you do that.
Again, I am so deeply sorry for your pain. If there is anything I can do, don't hesitate to contact me on or off the board.
Sending you hugs and all my love,
Terry
-
((Riss24))
It's always so sad to read a posting from another newbie to our sad grief journey. My sincere and heartfelt condolences to you and your family.
There is no simple answer on how to get through these traumatic events. Somehow, day to day gets easier as time goes on. However, the occasions and holidays are just devastatingly difficult.
I cannot imagine what it must be like for your surviving twin; from conception 1/2 of a whole-puts loss for me, reading your story, in a whole new perspective.
I would encourage dialogue, perhaps even a ritual as releasing butterflies or balloons.
8 years ago when I found this website it was a godsend for me. I hope that you will find it true for yourself as well. We, the bereaved parents, understand like no other, what this is like.
Let us know how it goes for you.
Paula
(Adam's heartbroken Mama)
-
Thank you for the replies and of course for the understanding and empathy. I need to make a point of reading your "stories" :( as well. I do know that unless you've been thru this, as we all unfortunately have, there is no real comprehension of how bad it hurts and how it just feels like the world's been knocked off its axis-- nothing is ok anymore. Even to begin participating in this is a step toward acceptance that I'm not positive I'm up for! I know she's died and isn't coming back but honestly, my "participation in life" re doing anything except sitting and thinking nonstop about her, crying every day for missing her, and pretty much drawing into myself etc etc, has been very limited other than reading literally 30+ books on grief, heaven, comfort from beyond type books in hope of finding solace. Haven't watched but about 4 hours of tv, have yet to step foot into a grocery store or anywhere real public because I know if anyone says a word to me about her I'm going to be a puddle on the ground. You may have already surmised this, but I don't think I'm coping well!! I will make this effort though, to "talk" here and draw upon the strength and experience you on this site can surely impart. I've never participated in computer chat/forums ( don't even "do" facebook!) so you all might have to walk me thru this, too- how/where to post certain things, the "rules" etc, sorry! Uugh. I'm in a funk today, don't WANT to and don't feel l can DO this whole life after loss crap!!! I'll come back here in a day or two when I hopefully have a better outlook, today sucks. Thank you Terry, Paula and Janka for the welcome and the heartfelt support and encouragement...I'm thankful for having found this site, you all may be my lifesavers. Bless you
-
Riss,
Be kind and gentle with yourself. If you're getting out of bed in the morning and maybe even jumping in the shower, well that's an accomplishment and a huge one after losing a child. This is hard and we all understand here how long and hard this journey is. Take it one hour, second....breath at a time. Your body and your heart have been devastated, beaten....and it feels like it will never get better. I know that feeling, too.
Just try to remember to stay hydrated. Drink lots of water. Snack on healthy foods if you can't yet sit down to a meal. Rest as much as you are able to. I know all of this is hard. Our bodies and our minds take a beating as grief runs havoc on our immune systems and we can become very sick. And, know that someone is always here to listen.
Love,
Terry
-
Hi to anyone who will read this!
Having such a hard, hard day. They're all hard but as you know, some are harder than others. I know this is something I'll never get over but when I read others stories about how it's been 3,5,10,13..years and it still hurts so bad, I kind of panic. I can't fathom feeling so bereft like this for what could be years and years before I die and finally have relief! Today when I went to the cemetery I wanted to just lie down and never get up. Which brings me to a question--though I know each and every one of us handles things differently, I'm wondering if any of you in the early days/months after the death of your loved one, were kind of obsessed with going to the cemetery? I go at least 4 times a week and on the days I don't go I make sure that my oldest daughter does. It just matters to me that someone goes every single day. One evening I discovered that my daughter didn't go like I'd asked her to and I lost it..so, bless my husband's heart (I've been divorced from my children's dad for 17 years, have been married just 3 years to my husband) he gets our camping lantern and at 10:00 at night we drive the 13 miles to the cemetery. I've kept fresh cut flowers there since she was buried June 12th and one of the reasons I'm having a hard time these past couple of weeks especially, is because the weather where I live is starting to get cold, we'll have snow within a month...and I'm sad sad sad that I won't be able to keep it "pretty" there for her and I don't want it to snow on her!!! As I write this I know how crazy I must sound. And 2 weeks ago my husband was finally going to take our a/c unit out of the window and I couldn't handle it, as he was in the middle of putting it IN the day I got the call that an ambulance was responding to the house my daughter was at when she in fact had been deceased for hours. So it's still in the window, he'll have to do it when I'm not home. I just hate that time is passing, seasons are changing, life is going on when it feels to me like everything stopped the day she died. And as I mentioned in my first post, her (and her twin's) birthday is coming up. Their names are Sadie* and Shallyn by the way. Just feels like so much is weighing on me and I'm taking it SO hard. Crying every day and not being able to help it is wearing on me, don't know how much more I can take! How can something hurt so bad and not kill a person? This post has turned into a vent/diary, my apologies. And also my thanks for hearing me out. HELP!!!
-
Dear Riss24!
I go to the cemetery because of my beloved man Jan every month almost 3 years and when it´s unbearable,I go though twice a week,because it helps me.I can´t watch like the others of his family don´t take care of his grave,myself only.It hurts so much,but this is the proof that I did,I do and I´ll do love him forever above all.He´s everything I am,I believe in and I love till eternity.I don´t think you´re obsessed with going to the cemetery.It helps me too,because there´s a part of him.There is all of my love in every stone...all of my tears in every lump of the ground...There is no other place like him.I go there every month to bring him the most beautiful roses and I´ll always do for the rest of my life.I take a seat there talking to him,no matter if in hot or frosty weather,I express my love for him every day of my life,otherwise I couldn´t live anymore.I understand you very well.I really know what you´ve been going through by now.If I only could go there more often,but I can´t.He´s unfortunately buried in another city,so only travel takes 3 hours a day.You see I had the better day yesterday invited to celebrate my best friend´s birthday,meeting a few kind people I haven´t seen very long time and today I feel sadness again.I do my best I can to cope with my pain because of my beloved Jan to do not make him so sad,but sometimes it´s too hard anyway,crying more than before.I always look for a way and sometimes I see no reason for going on,feeling so hopeless as I have no close family,no children,only 3 best friends helping me as much as possible and they haven´t lost a beloved woman,or beloved man like myself.Anyhow my beloved Jan is by my side every second of my life.When you read my story,my messages and my poems writing for him,then you know how it feels.You see it´s stronger than me as I´m writing you with the tears in my eyes again.My work is something has been helping me the most day after day.I don´t know whether I would have survived if I had not been at work every day.There´s needed to do something as often as possible to do not break down...to do not lose the common sense...to stand up each time and move on...I do it more than 1000 days and nights all alone,every day of my life,always because of my beloved Jan waiting for me in heaven.I´ll never stop crying for him...it always hurts more than words can say...but I´ve survived somehow...I must be strong because of my beloved Jan.I´ve got the evidence of my immortal beloved.I know one day we´ll be together as one again...forever...till eternity...
Your words don´t seem to be crazy.It´s a proof of your love.It is beautiful.You´re not alone.I´m here every day for you.You can write me anytime you need.
Please take care!
We all will be one day with our loved ones till eternity.
Hug you from the heart!
Janka
-
Hi to anyone who will read this!
Having such a hard, hard day. They're all hard but as you know, some are harder than others. I know this is something I'll never get over but when I read others stories about how it's been 3,5,10,13..years and it still hurts so bad, I kind of panic.
Hi, Riss. It's been nineteen years since I lost my brother and fourteen since I lost my dad.
It still hurts. It's hurts terribly. I'd be lying to tell it doesn't. It never gets better. I didn't even go through the worst of my grief until around 2011/2012. Then it was a year-long depression. It was horrible. It never heals.
However, it does get less frequent and doesn't last as long. Now certain things will trigger me. I might go months without getting terribly sad. Then something will remind me and I might cry all night.
It doesn't get well. It does get less frequent, though.
((((((((Riss)))))))))
-
(((Riss24)))
One day there will be light in your life again, when I can't say but it will come. I lost my youngest son at age 17, 11 years ago. In a few days we will celebrate his 29th birthday which is something I really can't put my head around.
Frankly speaking, the first 2 years are just hard, there is no way around it. You have to go through it so just let yourself go with whatever you need to do for you. Take each day, one second at a time cause that right now is all you can do. Scream, cry, throw a fit if that is what you need to do at that moment but give yourself permission to feel what you feel. There is no right way or wrong way with grief, there is just your way and what makes the moments ok for you. Over the years I've described my grief as waves in an ocean… they come in and they go out. There are dark dark times, I don't think there are any of us here who haven't felt that black hole is gonna swallow us up and not let go. But with that said, we are still here, we have survived and yet are hearts are still broken, we miss our babies something terrible and that isn't gonna change nor should it. They are our children and our love is unconditional.
If right now you need to go to the cemetery every day then that is what you need to do. Be patient with those around you for maybe going to the cemetery isn't as easy for them… I know this is much easier said than done for right now all emotions are at the surface.
I can tell you that one day it will just happen where the pain isn't as constant, every day crying subsides and while the pain never goes away it does get softer and a little gentler. But right now that doesn't matter and you can't even comprehend how that can ever be. I hold you close to my heart because reading your words is something we have all felt and never forget.
Just post as you can and know that you are not alone, you are not crazy, you are a grieving mom. I understand your precious girl has a twin. My best advice is just keep talking and sharing. Maybe try and make decisions together on how to take this 1st birthday without her twin. In our family we have always done balloon releases and sent messages. It is tough there is no way around it. It also sounds like you have a very supportive partner in your life and keep that line of communication open as well. I now have grandchildren and we talk about their uncle whom they will never know all the time. Then there are also those very private days where I just need to be with me, there are still hard days and I've come to accept that this is just what it is and it is ok.
Just remember take one moment, one breath and one step at a time. That is all you can do. I am so sorry for your loss and so very sorry that you have joined this club but it certainly has saved me and many others.
Jeanne
Philip's mom forever
-
Everything you wrote I can most certainly relate to very personally. We all walk the grief journey independently and yet collectively together. So many of us will read your posts and say oh yeah, I know exactly what she is feeling, going through, experiencing because all of it was my experience too and some of us will respond in writing to your posts.
My heart aches for yours because there is nothing so difficult as the beginning of the grief journey. While I am now a very sad individual time has allowed me to move forward in a direction that I never thought possible. I too, couldn't believe that a heart could be broken so badly and yet still beat. I even had a suicide attempt a few short months after my son died. It is my belief that he didn't allow it to happen because as a RN I know the amount of pills I ingested should have killed me. There are still days that I don't want to go on, however I saw how my attempt hurt my surviving family and friends and I vowed to not go down that path again. With a lot of bereavement groups, therapy, medications and this online grief site I get through the day.
I went to a meeting once and a man was there who was 15 years into his grief journey and I was dumbfounded by that number because mine had just begun. It made me realize that no matter where we are in our grief journey, a bereaved parent can and must reach out to other bereaved parents because I firmly believe that no other human being can truly understand the depth of our pain. Keep on reaching out to us, try to go to any and all bereavement groups, therapists ... anything you can think of or that are suggestions from people like us who know the hell that you are in.
Wishing you moments of peace and dream visits and signs from your angel.
XO Paula
-
If right now you need to go to the cemetery every day then that is what you need to do. Be patient with those around you for maybe going to the cemetery isn't as easy for them…
I'd also add that some people don't get anything out of visiting a cemetary. I've never been to one besides at burials except one time when I took my sister. Graves are meaningless to me. It's not that I find it hard. It's that I don't feel anything in going.
Some people do. I'm glad they find comfort. My sister always visits the graves when she's home.
It's more of a philosophical difference than it has anything to do with the people we lost.
-
Today when I went to the cemetery I wanted to just lie down and never get up. Which brings me to a question--though I know each and every one of us handles things differently, I'm wondering if any of you in the early days/months after the death of your loved one, were kind of obsessed with going to the cemetery? I go at least 4 times a week and on the days I don't go I make sure that my oldest daughter does. It just matters to me that someone goes every single day.
((((((Riss)))))) I personally do not go to the cemetery but then most of my loved ones were cremated. Here in my home they are all with me. They each have their shelf with pictures, poems and even video attached. Some family who have visited my home thinks it's morbid having a shrine in my home to all of my loved ones but I tell them the same thing I would tell anyone else who doesn't like it....There's the door!! So, whatever brings you comfort right now, Riss then that's what you should do. Don't let all of those well meaning folks who I refer to as the Grief Police tell you how to grieve for your precious daughter. Whatever brings you comfort.
One evening I discovered that my daughter didn't go like I'd asked her to and I lost it..so, bless my husband's heart (I've been divorced from my children's dad for 17 years, have been married just 3 years to my husband) he gets our camping lantern and at 10:00 at night we drive the 13 miles to the cemetery. I've kept fresh cut flowers there since she was buried June 12th and one of the reasons I'm having a hard time these past couple of weeks especially, is because the weather where I live is starting to get cold, we'll have snow within a month...and I'm sad sad sad that I won't be able to keep it "pretty" there for her and I don't want it to snow on her!!!
I feel the same regarding your surviving daughter that if she is finding it difficult to go to the cemetery then that certainly is her choice to go or not to go.
This is so hard for everyone right now and the most important thing to remember is that your precious daughter lived. She lived and she was loved and no one, ever can take those memories away from you, Riss.
This time of early grief is most difficult and also, confusing. The reality of my babies deaths didn't hit me right away and I was waiting for my oldest son to come home...to call me...I would even believe that I saw him in cars passing by. It is just a heart wrenching experience, losing a child. I believe it is a violation of the human spirit.
Now, after many years I am able to remember them with joy in my heart and tell stories about them that make me laugh....something I thought would never become reality. But that took time. A lot of time and doing the work of grief and the work of grief is feeling everything. Getting all of our feelings out. For me it wasn't until the third year after losing my oldest son when I began to find purpose for my life. That's another post but wanted briefly to share that time frame with you.
Know that I am holding you so close to my heart with love and understanding. Know that anything you're feeling is OK. It really is. We are all here for you.
Much love,
Terry
-
Whatever brings you comfort.
Exactly.
-
Riss, I lost my daughter Stacy on June 3rd of this year to DIC caused by a drug interaction between 2 of her medications. Her Dr. had just prescribed her the new medication on May 28th. I was called to the Hospital the morning of June 2nd, Stacy fought to stay with us all that day and night, she was in a coma the entire time. The DIC was too much for her body and it began to fail. At 11:14 am June 3rd I told Stacy it was Ok for her to go,I thanked her for fighting so hard for us and that everyone Loved Her. Immediately her heart and respiration rate dropped. I watched a small tear come from her left eye, it was like she was telling us goodbye. At 11:16 she was pronounced. My wife and I go to the Cemetery everyday, I go out early on the weekends and mow\weedeat her grave because the grounds crew weren't careful enough around her. I have 2 daughters and one of them doesn't like to go to the cemetery, the other will occasionally go but only if my wife and aren't there. I believe everyone of us grieves the way we need to. We just can't fall into habits that are bad for us. Drinking too much, eating too much, spending money etc... My heart is with you
-
Rocko32,
Oh my heart is with you, too. Our daughters died one day apart. May I ask how old Stacy was? It's just so painfully hard every day. Along with visiting her gravesite almost daily I too have kept up with the mowing etc, the cemetery where she's buried is small and maintenance is done just a couple times a year on designated dates by community volunteers, otherwise it's up to family members to deal with the upkeep-or not. I vow to take care of my daughter's as long as I have breath in me. For me, it's a case of this being the only way I can "take care of her" still.
I haven't been on this site for a week or more, been having rough days...it's just after 5a.m. where I live and haven't been to bed yet, past several nights I've been having disturbing dreams and sleep in general is just hard for me to get as I can't shut my mind off.
I see you are new here, too. So sorry to "meet" this way. My sincerest sympathy to you and your family. I'm not at a place yet where I can offer up any real encouragement, except that all of us on this site are in it together. Reading your reply re your daughtet's passing made my heart hurt for you. May peace and healing be yours...
-
Riss, Stacy was 32. The Big Sister to my other 2 daughters.
My little one is especially taking it hard. Sometimes I get wrapped up in my own grief and forget theirs.
I'm glad to hear I'm not the only crazy one at a cemetery mowing and weeding! I used the excuse of watering her grave during the hot summer here in Oklahoma to go out everyday. Now that Fall is here I'll need a new one.
Stacy's birthday is not until January 20th. Like you I am dreading that day. We are both in the year firsts without our daughters. I think those are especially tough for a parent, but I don't think the 2nd's, 3rd's etc will be any better.
My wife, my little one (23) and I have been attending weekly grief sessions. Too early to tell if the help. We also attend a monthly meeting of Parents who have lost a child (Compassionate Friends) we get a lot of comfort at that meeting because everyone gets us!
I've lurked here since June, your post went straight to my soul. I feel so deeply for you, I can't tell you I know how you feel because each of us is different! Don't hesitate to reach out when you need to vent.
Here is a quote by F. Scott Fitzgerald that gave us a lot of comfort.
“She was beautiful, but not like those girls in the magazines. She was beautiful, for the way she thought. She was beautiful, for the sparkle in her eyes when she talked about something she loved. She was beautiful, for her ability to make other people smile, even if she was sad. No, she wasn't beautiful for something as temporary as her looks. She was beautiful, deep down to her soul. She is beautiful.”
― F. Scott Fitzgerald
-
((((Rocko))))
I'm so sorry that your precious daughter, Stacy has died. Welcome to Webhealing.
Along with posting daily on these boards, I also attended Compassionate Friends meetings and they were very helpful. For me it was the human touch, the hugs from another parent and the events were very inspirational - many ways to honor my children.
Beautiful quote from F. Scott Fitzgerald.
The firsts are very difficult. Know we are here for you with open hearts. :love9:
Love,
Terry
-
Terry,
Thank you for your kind words. I lurked here since June, taking comfort in the many posts. Riss's post hit my very soul, and I had to tell her she's not alone or I may still be lurking.
We've been attending Compassionate Friends since July, the first 2 or 3 meetings we just cried. But, it felt like we were home. Everyone there gets it, just as everyone here gets it.
Rocko
-
((((((Rocko)))))) :love9:
-
Dear Rocko!
I´m sorry for your loss,too!
Hugs from Janka
-
I used to visit Adam a lot in the early years. I felt a strong need to be where his body was. I felt physically close to him. I also imagined that he had a need for me to be there by him. Now, 8 years later I only visit him occasionally. I like to go, bring him flowers, cards, etc. out of respect to the burial place of my son. It makes me feel so sad and yet as a Mom it makes me feel like I am not forgetting his physical presence. My husband will go with me, rarely, if ever, on his own. My daughter goes occasionally and my other sons hardly ever go. I was afraid that if my children didn't go visit their sibling it was because they were putting him in the past and not keeping him alive in the daily minds and hearts. I would like my sons to visit Adam more often I won't say that to them because I do accept that everyone has a way of coping with death, pain & loss unique to them.
I visit my parents and brother for certain annually if not one or more times a year. I need to pay my respects to their resting place and yet feel that since they are together that they don't 'need" me as much as Adam does to be there. That's why I used the word imagined before. It just has to be in my mind - wanting him to need me even though he is no longer in this physical world. I guess it is just part of my coping of accepting the fact that he is gone.
-
I would like my sons to visit Adam more often I won't say that to them because I do accept that everyone has a way of coping with death, pain & loss unique to them.
I think that's a very unique, personal thing. I never visit cemetaries. My sister, brother, dad, grandparents, and several aunts and uncles are all within a few feet of each other. I've never been there except for another burial excluding one time I took my sister there when she was home.
It's very important to her to visit them whenever she's home. It does nothing for me. I feel nothing at gravesites. My mom doesn't go, either. I don't think she's ever visited a grave, and she has two kids and a husband buried right by each other.
It's a philosophical thing, I think. To me, it's just a place. I don't think they're there. To my sister, it's a bond.
I feel like I'm visiting them during certain events. Baseball makes me feel close to my brother. Deer hunting makes me feel close to my dad. I cry every year on opening morning of deer season. When the sun is coming up, I feel closer to him than any other minute of the year.
Graves do nothing for me.
I'm glad it brings comfort to other people, though. I think it's just a philosophical difference.
-
My condolences to you Rocko32. I am glad that you found us. Some people stay for a short time or for years. It's a great comfort to be able to post whenever you want and the online bonds you can make. In the past some of the board members have even gone on to meet one another in person. Like you, with Riss24, you can find people you connect with a little more. I hope that this board can provide a degree of comfort to you.
Peace & blessings to you.
-
Riss, I'm so sorry that you have lost your daughter but I am so glad for you that you have found this site. I don't know how I would have survived without the support I found here 24/7. When I couldn't sleep. When people said, it's been a year, time to get over it and be who you used to be. I lost my 21 year old son Jimmy in a car accident. Eight years later I lost my Tommy, bi-polar, to suicide. I want you to keep telling yourself that you WILL survive. You WILL survive and live your life in a way that honors your beloved daughter. In the beginning we survive a day at a time, we get through the next hour. I want you to have hope that one day life will be worth living. You will have your own journey, your own story to tell. In my story, for three years I really didn't care if I lived or I died. I wasn't suicidal - I just didn't care. But I had surviving kids. I knew my fun-loving, always-smiling Jim wanted me to do more than just survive. I read on this site a post from a girl who had lost her sister who said that she lost her parents, too, because they never really came back after their loss. I didn't want my surviving kids to feel like that. I kept pushing myself, when I could, to be present to them - when I could. I rebuilt myself and my life without my son. And 8 years later I did it again. People say oh you're so strong. Maybe, maybe not. We can sit in a dark curtained room and never come out - really, that's the way we feel. Or we can slowly. But surely begin to live again. There were so many times when I didn't think I could survive, so many times when I didn't want to. But I sure am glad I did. I have two daughters, and one has married and given us two sweet grand kids. New life has made a big difference for all of us. Keep holding on, keep telling yourself that one day it will get better. You'll always miss your sweet daughter - tears are the price of love. But one day the excruciating pain will soften. Know that I care.
Barb
-
Hello All,
First time posting as well. I recently lost my Daughter in the tragic Marysville Pilchuck High School Shooting in Marysville, WA on October 24,2014. This is very raw...very painful and unimaginable...
I am thankful I came across this site to find understanding and sharing with those that share my pain..I'm hoping that when everyone else has gone away or gone to sleep you will be there to keep listening and providing the words of healing that we all need.
My beautiful daughter was 14 years old she loved art, music and had a laugh that was contagious. She was beautiful inside and out. I named her Zoë which means "Life" for that is exactly what she exuded. I feel her in my heart and I know she is with me, but it does not take away the pain of missing her every second of every day.
-
I am so very, very sorry about your precious little girl. 14 years old, practically a baby. I too am thankful that you found this site. It has helped me, even in the short time since I joined. There are many kind, encouraging, caring people here who want for nothing but to support and listen and be here to let you know you aren't alone. It IS raw and unimaginably painful, you're so right...and I'm so sorry for the hurt you're going through. Please know that you've taken a step in the right direction, you will find hope here. Hugs to you
-
Thank you Riss24 I am reading through all the stories and as sad and overwhelming as it is it is comforting to know that some of the feelings that I'm having or going through are normal.
-
((((((Zoësmamma222))))))
I am so sorry that your Zoe has died. So tragic, too. She was beautiful. A kindness in her smile touched my heart through the TV screen and brought tears.
We're always here to listen, day and night. You're right that there comes a time when others go away and even go on with their lives and since our lives come to a halt when our children die, we're in a different place. This is a safe place to come to share all of your feelings.
Welcome to Webhealing.
One day, one minute at a time. Deep Breaths. And, know you're loved and cared for here. :love9:
Love,
Terry
-
Terry,
Thank you so much! I am glad to be here :)
~Michelle
-
Hello All,
First time posting as well. I recently lost my Daughter in the tragic Marysville Pilchuck High School Shooting in Marysville, WA on October 24,2014. This is very raw...very painful and unimaginable...
I am thankful I came across this site to find understanding and sharing with those that share my pain..I'm hoping that when everyone else has gone away or gone to sleep you will be there to keep listening and providing the words of healing that we all need.
My beautiful daughter was 14 years old she loved art, music and had a laugh that was contagious. She was beautiful inside and out. I named her Zoë which means "Life" for that is exactly what she exuded. I feel her in my heart and I know she is with me, but it does not take away the pain of missing her every second of every day.
I´m so sorry for your loss!
Send you my warm hugs from the heart!
Janka
-
ZOESMAMMA,
I'M glad you found this site. although I wish you didn't have to be here. i'm so sorry for your loss.. I found this site 2 mo. after my niece(CANDI-23) was killed 9 1/2 yrs. ago...
i'll keep you in my thought's & prayers.... when I came here someone told me to:
take it " ONE MOMENT, ONE BREATH & ONE DAY at A TIME..."
SENDING YOU HUGS,
MARTHA