Introductions thread

[Tom]

This is a thread to introduce yourself and say hello. 

[ohsweetdonna]

im not sure what to do here as this is my first time on this site
my name is donna and i lost my soulmate a little over a week ago
he died of a heart attack while we were on vacation, i was with him when he died
the grief i feel is unbearable, i miss him every second of every day
i wonder where he is now, if hes ok, does he know i miss him.  i thought that i would be able to feel him near me
but i dont
today would have been his 50th birthday
one second he was there then he was gone
im having a really hard time getting through each minute without him
he was my whole world, the love of my life
i try to think of the good times but that brings more heart ache for all the memories we wont share
for the memories that were taken from us
living without him is like living in hell

[browneyedgirl]

((((Donna))))

Hi Donna ~ I am so sorry for the loss of your soulmate. 

Welcome to Webhealing.  You will find many loving, supportive people here that will offer you a helping hand and a kind word. 

This Board that you are posting on is very new, feel free to visit the other Boards, perhaps reading of others stories will help you. 

You are soooooooooooooo very early in your journey of greif.  It will take time, and lots of it.  Please take good care of yourself. 

Happy Heavenly Birthday to your soulmate. 

I am so sorry again, please come back and let us know how you are doing. 

[mousewife]

Donna,

I am so sorry that you lost your soul-mate, and all of your future with him.  I know if feels unbearable.  I lost my soul-mate a little over 3 and 1/2 years ago.  I know how much it hurts.  He was my everything too.  He made it to his 50th, but only a few months past.  It gets easier, but it takes a lot of time.  There will be times when you get respite and can have some joy.  Take advantage of those times to the fullest without reservation or guilt because you need them.  The sad times will come again.  I always got so disappointed when I thought I was over it, and then the grief grabbed me again.  Then I realized I just needed to accept it and let it come.  Everyone has their own time table.  I hope for your heart to be comforted. 
Peace and Healing,
mousewife

[Terry]

((((( Donna )))))

I am so deeply sorry for the sudden, tragic loss of your soul mate. I know the pain is unbearable right now.

"im having a really hard time getting through each minute without him."

One minute at a time, and especially in the earlier days, weeks is how I have always dealt with my losses. At times it is one second at a time. I know that words alone are not a consolation right now and I sure wish I could do more for you. Please know, though that I understand the deep pain from losing someone very dear and I am here to listen and to send you hugs and lots of love.

From what I've been blessed to see, Donna our loved ones are happy and in peace. It is the ones left to grieve who are suffering.

Please share more of your precious love as you are able. Try and take good care of yourself right now as stress caused from grieving zaps our energy level and the little reserve we thought we had left. Try to drink plenty of fluids and rest even if you can't sleep. And, let us know how you are doing. Know we care, very much.

Welcome to Webhealing. We are a family who listens, cares and understands the pain of great loss. There is so much support here and I'm glad you found us.

((((((((((((((Donna)))))))))))))))

You have my love,
Terry

[Imma]

Hello,
I would like to introduce myself. My name is Imma, I lost my husband two years ago, and I'm still missing him a lot. We had got two children who are now seven and twelve years old , and despite all the sadness and the pain I try to make him present with us. When he died, I read a lot about the mourning  and I found a sentence that helped me quite a lot. It was a Seneca's sentence which says " Do not curse the gods that you can not live by, thank you had lived", then I realised that while me and the children remember him, he should live in us.  That's not easy and  sometimes it's very hard but it helps me. When there's a new decision about one of the boys I use to think what we should have done as a couple, as his parents, and I try not to forget his vision, because it's part of our family. In the other hand I don't feel it as an obssession, just a way of living.
Last September he would have done 50 years and we made a celebration, we made a video and we remember him with a lot of friends, it was sad but, at the same time, I felt him with me, with us, so I also was happy. It's difficult learn how to live without him but with him too.

[browneyedgirl]

Dear Imma ~

I am so very sorry for the loss of your husband.

Welcome to Webhealing, you will find many supportive, kind people here to help you on your journey. 

Please come back and tell us more about your husband and/or feel free to start a new thread about him.

Take care of yourself.

[Terry]

Hi Imma,

I am deeply sorry for the loss of your precious husband. You're right, it does take time to learn how to live without them. It's a different life with many challenges. One day at a time with a little help from our friends.

" Do not curse the gods that you can not live by, thank you had lived", then I realised that while me and the children remember him, he should live in us.  That's not easy and  sometimes it's very hard but it helps me. When there's a new decision about one of the boys I use to think what we should have done as a couple, as his parents, and I try not to forget his vision, because it's part of our family. In the other hand I don't feel it as an obssession, just a way of living.

What a profound quote and how true. And, I agree it isn't easy. Nothing about living without them is easy.

Your children are blessed that you're continuing to raise them with both you and your husband's morals, values and are making decisions accordingly. Awesome!

Welcome to Webhealing! And, feel free to post on the Partner/Spouse Loss board. When and if you feel up to it, I would love to hear more about your husband. Do you have Holiday plans with the children? And, how are the little ones doing?

You have my heart along with your children!

My love,
Terry

[johnkmurray]

Hi, I'm John, and I lost my wife Kit to cancer earlier this year. I found this board a couple of months ago. I check in periodically, and especially now with the holiday season upon us I am feeling her loss more intensely.

John

[Terry]

Hi John,

This is, by far the hardest time of the year for us all. There is no shame in hiding under the covers until it's all over (done that) or doing anything else that you feel you want or need to do. We do what we have to, to protect our hearts. I think the added stress comes when we allow others to lay the guilt trip on us for not being in the holiday spirit. I never allowed that, although many have tried.

I know this is your first holiday without Kit. Take care of yourself.

Love,
Terry

[iamnuttier]

Hello My name is Elaine and I lost my husband to a massive heart attack on the 15th of november, it happened in front of me and I tried to help him till help got here but he was gone in the blink of an eye. I am now here all alone where it happened with no family friends or support system as I suffer from agoraphobia,bipolar and severe panic. I feel I lost my world he had just turned 50 11 days before his death and I am 42. I feel so lost, alone,angry,frustrated guilty among a few feelings I am going thru. I need to be able to deal with this all and don't know how to go about it so I figured I would start here. thanks

[Terry]

I am so deeply sorry, Elaine to hear this. My heart goes out to you.

I'd like to welcome you to Webhealing where I know you will find a lot of support as others have also suffered devastating losses and we are here for each other in our pain and sadness while on this very difficult journey while grieving.

So young and so sudden. I'm sending you the biggest hug right now and please know I care, very much.

I understand the agoraphobia as I was a shut-in a few years, but after an accident. Please know you are not alone and I was very thankful for the internet as I was unable to leave my home after my surviving son died. There is always someone here, Elaine, day and night and although we're miles away in distance, we are all bonded through similar experiences.

Please try to take care of yourself right now as I know how draining, stressful grief can be. And, the holidays are upon us so stay close to those who understand how difficult, especially these next weeks will be. Thank you for sharing your story with us. I know you must be just devastated but you are not alone.

Sending hugs and so much love to you.

((((((((((((((Elaine)))))))))))))

Love,
Terry

[06brkn14]

Lost my wife on June 14, 2010. She was hit by a car and killed instantly. This year we would have been married 10 years. Cannot believe it has been 5 months, not looking forward to later today. Just going to try real hard to not be sad in front of my kids. Need to be strong for them, they have seen me cry enough these past months. She left behind 5 daughters: 5 yr old, 8 yr old, 10 yr old, 14 yr old and a 19 yr old. They are the only thing keeping me together. Hope all of you can have the best holidays that you can.
Brad

[Terry]

Hi Brad,

It's hard to believe it's already been 5 months and I'm so glad you 'do' have the children in your life; I've heard from so many that it is what keeps them going.

I understand wanting to be strong for the children. My Granddaughter, who is my son's daughter shared with me that my house was the only place she could come where others didn't pretend Daddy didn't die. Children are so aware of our sadness, anyway so I have continued to "smile-through-my-tears!" I can be myself around her.

I commend you for trying to maintain the stability that children so desperately need to feel secure. They are surely blessed to have you in their lives.

I hope your Thanksgiving day will bring warm memories, amidst the pain. And, thanks so much for the update as I was thinking about you since I haven't seen you post in awhile.

((((((Brad)))))

My love,
Terry

[06brkn14]

Terry,

I do hope that one day we can meet. Your words are always so kind and so timely. I wish I had more time to post here and I am truly glad that I found this resource. Everyone on here is just so great. I also like to read others posts because it lets me know that I am not the only one going through this and that many others have it worse than I do. Which is good to see when I start to feel too sorry for myself. I thank you for you.

Brad