Author Topic: Long time family member (daughter's boyfriend of 15 years) shot himself  (Read 4928 times)


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and we are all devastated.   Our family did clean up the mess, no WAY were we going to let anyone else attend to what had happened,  and we are soldering through as best we are able.

Even though I am (also) a trauma therapist, secrets were kept, I had NO idea what pressures there were or that there were any troubles at all ..... and now there's a 'Jack-sized hole' in the Universe.

I'm not even sure what I'm asking here .... crying all the time is not an option and I know, in a year of so, the pain will be less.

WE DIDN"T KNOW ANYTHING WAS WRONG! (except that he was having terrible bouts of gout and of arthritis in his damaged body.... from an early life motorcycle accident).  We DIDN"T KNOW ....if we had known we could have helped.

I'm finding out there were financial problems (secrets kept) .... and he may have felt he'd let everyone down.  I don't know ..... it's a truly devastating loss.


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LeeB1 I am very sorry to hear about your loos. We never really are ever sure of the reasons and some of them do everything they can to insure they they aren't showing signs or leaving clues because they know if they do someone may figure out their plans and would try to stop them. I can only imagine your daughter is devastated. Try to make sure you are taking care of yourself and also your daughter. It will ease up but it will take time and it sounds like you already understand this. There isn't much I can say that will make it go away or seem easier. What helped me after my wife died was keeping myself busy. I don't know much about the situation as this is your first post in here and there is very little information to help me understand some of the background. So in this situation I may not be a good talker or advisor but if it helps I'm most definitely a good listener. From my being a vet and being around other vets and active duty I do understand. and know what it's like for the families and friends that they leave behind.


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    • “Grief is like the ocean; it comes on waves ebbing and flowing. Sometimes the water is calm, and sometimes it is overwhelming. All we can do is learn to swim.” –Vicki Harrison
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Re: Long time family member (daughter's boyfriend of 15 years) shot himself
« Reply #2 on: August 07, 2018, 08:01:12 AM »

I'm so sorry for your loss.