3 months today

[Raven2017]

I feel so bad for being so negative but does this ever get any better?  I miss Jim more and more every day.  His passing was so unexpected and senseless that I can't wrap my head around the fact that he is gone forever.  One minute, we were watching T.V, then he had a headache and was going to lie down and then next I was calling an ambulance.  I didn't get to say goodbye to him. Rationally, I know that he is not here but I miss him so much and I am having more bad days than good ever since his birthday in June.  I still get up, get dressed and go through the day but inside, I am a mess.  I feel like the outside of me looks normal but the inside of me is in a fog, unfocused most of the time. I keep extremely busy both inside and outside but it's not enough.  He is in my mind constantly.  I feel like I'm going crazy.  I am so lucky because I have so many people in my life that care about me but I just want Jim back.

[JustMark]

Hi Raven. I imagine it does get better at some point but it sounds like you are right where I have been for the last month and a half or so. I still find myself having to push myself to get something done on some days. There are days I have no motivation to do anything. I yhink this last month I only cooked my self one meal and got back to doing sandwiches and some sort of salad.