Author Topic: Newly widowed  (Read 2630 times)

Troyjackson

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Newly widowed
« on: February 12, 2016, 11:37:09 AM »
As I sit here wondering what to write I will just throw it out there. I lost the love of my life on January 4th after she lost her battle with Cystic Fibrosis. We have been married for 29 years and she was my high school sweetheart. Words cannot describe the pain that I feel, first of all coming home to find her and realizing after supporting her battle all those years that she was gone. We moved over nine years ago to a farm that was perfect for us to enjoy and bring our family of horses together from several boarding barns. I find myself pushing forward trying to complete what we have started, because that is what she would have wanted. There isn't a minute of the day that I do not think of her and miss her with all my heart. Her beautiful smile and the warm embrace every night when I came home.
When I met her, I knew that there would be challenges with her CF, but I would have never dreamed she would be taken from me the way she was. We were two weeks from an appointment at John's Hopkins Hospital to be put on a transplant list. The Lord had other plans!! Not sure where to go from here but I push forward for her and what we started to build. RIP my beautiful Michell!! I miss you and love you.

MyLou

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Re: Newly widowed
« Reply #1 on: February 17, 2016, 02:46:46 AM »
(((((( Troy )))))))

I am so sorry for the loss of your beautiful wife.  I am at 5 years and 3 months. I still talk and think of my Lou everyday.  My sister's husband just loss her husband Dec 30th. 

It's a hard journey. Please just take one minute , hour  day at a time.  The pain is so deep because we loved so deeply. Your wife will always be with you.  I know how hard it was to just keep moving but I know that's what they want from us.  I remember I couldn't sleep and tears just flooding my face.  If you can't sleep rest because your whole being is in shock.  Try to eat if you can't snack, but drink plenty of fluids.

When a new member comes on board my heart breaks , my heart breaks for my sister too. She calls me and cries and I remember that was me.

I know some people go to grief groups , journal.  I did journal it helps you just write to your wife whatever it maybe.  Never look back at what you wrote.  I did that and it broke my heart.  Somehow we have to go forward but at our own pace.  I promise it will get softer people did tell me this.  I didn't believe them how could my world was taken from me. Everyone grieves different so I can't say to you when it will get softer.

Yell , scream , cry whatever helps you get it out.  If you want to ask me questions send me a message you can.

I am here for you ..... If you like to share more about Michell please do.

Always,

Lisa
« Last Edit: February 17, 2016, 02:51:00 AM by MyLou »
"Soulmates Forever"

I miss you every second of everyday My Love

I know I will see you again

kgraham

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Re: Newly widowed
« Reply #2 on: February 18, 2016, 03:53:10 PM »
Troy,
Hang in there it's tough...I just lost my husband from pancreatic cancer Jan 31st a few weeks ago.  We were a week out from a clinical trial and his body got to tired. We were together 12 yrs and he was my hunting buddy, true love and best friend. Our anniversary was Valentines Day...wheew this is probably the toughest thing we have ever gone through loosing a true love. Its very tough..... We will make it through this in small steps. The girls reminded me on my post the other day to eat and drink...dont forget to take care of yourself right now! I'm finding that just to talk to people that know how bad it hurts helps! Not everyone understands how deeply you hurt it seems like they all move on quicker than we do.  Jeff & I were huge outdoors people, we have 4 dogs, and we have a farm also. I found that when I am outside doing what we loved together working in the garden or hunting I can feel him the most and theres a calm over me. Try to love on those horses and do something small everyday that would make your wife smile towards the goals you had to get finished together... Im about to work on an awesome garden for my husband. He was so sick last year we didnt get to plant our garden so thats my goal. We had it planned.... Now to find the energy to proceed on this project will have to be done in prayer... God Bless and take care... Stay in touch...

ADavy

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Re: Newly widowed
« Reply #3 on: March 11, 2016, 01:09:33 PM »
Hi Troy,

I am so sorry for your loss, I feel your pain I lost my wife 11th January also from Cystic Fibrosis I am only 27 as was my late wife, we were only married for 5 years together for 8 years. My beautiful had her double lung transplant back in 2012 but succumbed to this despicable disease after tireless struggles. I feel completely robbed of our life together, I think every day of taking the selfish way out to be with her everyday. As you are aware CF engrosses your life your spouse becomes your world everything you do is for them to give them the life they deserve but can never have I now feel completely lost.

Good luck to you Troy.

Terry

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    • “Grief is like the ocean; it comes on waves ebbing and flowing. Sometimes the water is calm, and sometimes it is overwhelming. All we can do is learn to swim.” –Vicki Harrison
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Re: Newly widowed
« Reply #4 on: March 11, 2016, 05:06:32 PM »
ADavy - I'm so sorry to read of the recent death of your precious wife.

Welcome to Webhealing.

Love,
Terry

kurtie

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Re: Newly widowed
« Reply #5 on: June 04, 2016, 02:41:59 PM »
Hi ADavy, Troy and Lisa,
So sorry for your losses.
My wife and have been married for 12yrs and dating for a total of 17yrs. Deb was diagnosed with soft tissue sarcoma Sept 14 and given 12 mths tops. So we decided to by a RV motorhome and travel Europe we did it and enjoyed every second and every day of our 17 yrs together.
I lost Deb on Friday we knew this day would come and we done some preperation. I know it is very early but my heart is breaking the pain the tears can not see it ever stopping. Sorry guys I just thought I would type what I am feeling. Excuse my spelling

Love to all x