Author Topic: My boyfriend is grieving his dying father and I don't know how to help  (Read 1264 times)

Cecelia

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I am hoping to understand my boyfriend's grieving behavior as he has almost completely shut me out.  We met in Europe in July of 2014 and fell in love immediately.  We have maintained a mostly long-distance relationship since then, with him coming to live in America for a total of a few months and me visiting Italy and his family twice.  He was supposed to be back permanently soon, but found out a few months ago while he was in Italy that his dad is dying.  He is an only child, and feels an immense sense of obligation towards staying with his family during this time - which I COMPLETELY understand.  I want to be here for him and support him, let him know that I don't feel pressure for him to return to the U.S. right now.  I wanted to come and visit him at Christmas but he wanted the time alone with his parents - again, I understand.  The part that is so difficult for me is that our relationship has deteriorated to just a few text messages a week, with him promising to call me but never calling.  I have so much love to give him and no way of speaking to him, hugging him, or offering any sort of comfort.  I don't want to give him ultimatums or deadlines about our relationship while he is in all this grief.  But I want to know how normal this is and how long do I wait for him to speak to me from 12,000 kilometers away?  In addition I am struggling with my own health issues as well as anxiety and depression.  I can't sleep or eat, I'm crying all the time.  My boyfriend used to be so attentive and caring, and so in tune with my needs and emotions.  He seems like a different person now.  He's the only person I've ever been in love with and I would do anything for him.  I have so much love to give that sometimes I feel like I can't breathe.  Do I just leave him alone and keep waiting?

Godisgood7

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Cecelia I am going through the same thing with my fiancee. Can you please respond to me I am trying to talk to others who are experiencing the same thing with the ones they love pushing them out because of grief.

Text me (951) 291-3231 im from California