How do you deal with sudden death of partner?

[Bren777]

New here but have read many of your trials. I found my boyfriend dead August 1 and am really struggling. Can't talk to any of my friends about it because they just don't understand.  It hasn't happened to them. It was so bad that I attempted suicide. Luckily I had texted a friend. I don't remember anything after that except waking up in the hospital. Just need to talk to others who have been through this. We were planning marriage. Still don't have autopsy report. Any help is greatly appreciated.

[RobinBlue]

Hi Bren,

First, I want to say that I am so sorry for your loss. First and foremost, you need to take care of you. Get rest, as much as you can (even if you can't sleep), drink plenty of water and try to eat right.

Every day is a challenge, I can tell you that. My husband died really quick after being diagnosed with cancer. I know the big thing that got me through was setting a goal for myself each day. I had to have a reason to get out of bed. It didn't matter what the goal was - making a phone call, doing the laundry, doing the dishes, running the vacuum. I've been faced with quite a few days that I didn't want to get out of bed, but I had to in order to cross something else off my to-do list. And, honestly, some days the only thing I got accomplished was getting out of bed.

Journaling helps. You have to get the emotions out. Commiting them to paper helps. Also, posting on this forum helps, too. You can vent away and know that you'll eventually get a reply. And we all understand.

Be gentle with yourself Bren.

[Terry]

((((((Bren))))))

[funlearningmother]

Bren

Robin said most of it. I lost my boyfriend before I even had a ring. We had been talking about marriage. I got the autopsy report and was then full of OMG I should have done this or that. I really didn't think he was dying though. I just thought he was hurt badly. I never once thought he would die. He was in a car accident. I had gotten angry because he was saying stuff I didn't like so I got out of the drivers seat to calm down and he got in and when I didn't get in the car right away he took off and hit the trees. We were in a forest and he was drunk. Sometimes I don't know how I can live with all the choices I have made and I know my choices were not as bad as some other people's. It's that they were my choices and I feel them very deeply. The only thing that keeps me going is my kids and lately I have also been leaning on my angels and trusting that whatever choices I made were necessary for me to be where I am today. Sometimes that's a hard one to swallow.

Hugs and love, Shelby