Good morning everyone,
I know I've been absent for a while. I'm still just trying to work things out. Terry, Shelby and Lynne, thank you for the love and support.
This weekend I tackled the closet. One of my dear friends came over and helped me fold Tom's clothes and then put them away in a beautiful storage trunk I bought. I don't have the strength to give away his things yet so they'll be safe in this trunk until I do ... if I ever do.
That was Saturday. And I was a little worried that I would fall apart - I did get weepy a couple of times. But, amazingly, I got through it better than expected. But afterward, I found that his daughter had taken to posting her nasty rhetoric on his Facebook page again. As soon as I saw the comment, I deleted it without engaging her further.
Yesterday, however, was another story. She called me out by name, said I had put the wedge between her father and her and she was glad she didn't have to deal with my craziness anymore. Nasty. Vicious. And posting it to her dad's page, no less - almost pleading for a public brawl. It's typical of her. But it also shows disrespect to her father by posting that stuff on his page. I ended up doing something I should have done long ago (but didn't because, she did lose her father after all even though she treated him like garbage the last couple of years and we still don't know why) ... I unfriended her from his page and I blocked her. Now she can scream and rant and rave and I don't have to be bothered.
But I don't think she's going to rest until we have our "showdown" - I'm waiting for her to call the landline next (since she's blocked on my cell). You know, if I stooped to her level and we had it out, she still wouldn't go away. Me? I tried closing that door when Tom passed away because she never liked me and I've had to deal with her for 29 years. I never had it out with her. Never said a bad word to her. And all of Tom's friends came forward and confirmed that Tom had always complained to them about his daughter and her treatment of me (and in the final years, her treatment of him). The problem has always been with her.
So on top of my grief, I'm dealing with someone who, I get it, lost her father and she's upset and probably feeling really guilty right now because she did treat him so badly. And it's easier to blame me than take a look at herself. And it might make her feel better to tear me apart. And as much as I understand her pain and her grief and her guilt, I don't want to be her punching bag.
Lynne, I hope you're feeling a bit better after your bout of confusion. I miss talking to you, too.
Needless to say, I really haven't slept the last couple of days. I'm spun up without an outlet. I think I need to go out and buy a punching bag for myself.