Author Topic: Hitting A Wall  (Read 8865 times)

RobinBlue

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Re: Hitting A Wall
« Reply #15 on: August 24, 2015, 10:16:40 AM »
Good morning everyone,

I know I've been absent for a while. I'm still just trying to work things out. Terry, Shelby and Lynne, thank you for the love and support.

This weekend I tackled the closet. One of my dear friends came over and helped me fold Tom's clothes and then put them away in a beautiful storage trunk I bought. I don't have the strength to give away his things yet so they'll be safe in this trunk until I do ... if I ever do.

That was Saturday. And I was a little worried that I would fall apart - I did get weepy a couple of times. But, amazingly, I got through it better than expected. But afterward, I found that his daughter had taken to posting her nasty rhetoric on his Facebook page again. As soon as I saw the comment, I deleted it without engaging her further.

Yesterday, however, was another story. She called me out by name, said I had put the wedge between her father and her and she was glad she didn't have to deal with my craziness anymore. Nasty. Vicious. And posting it to her dad's page, no less - almost pleading for a public brawl. It's typical of her. But it also shows disrespect to her father by posting that stuff on his page. I ended up doing something I should have done long ago (but didn't because, she did lose her father after all even though she treated him like garbage the last couple of years and we still don't know why) ... I unfriended her from his page and I blocked her. Now she can scream and rant and rave and I don't have to be bothered.

But I don't think she's going to rest until we have our "showdown" - I'm waiting for her to call the landline next (since she's blocked on my cell). You know, if I stooped to her level and we had it out, she still wouldn't go away. Me? I tried closing that door when Tom passed away because she never liked me and I've had to deal with her for 29 years. I never had it out with her. Never said a bad word to her. And all of Tom's friends came forward and confirmed that Tom had always complained to them about his daughter and her treatment of me (and in the final years, her treatment of him). The problem has always been with her.

So on top of my grief, I'm dealing with someone who, I get it, lost her father and she's upset and probably feeling really guilty right now because she did treat him so badly. And it's easier to blame me than take a look at herself. And it might make her feel better to tear me apart. And as much as I understand her pain and her grief and her guilt, I don't want to be her punching bag.

Lynne, I hope you're feeling a bit better after your bout of confusion. I miss talking to you, too.

Needless to say, I really haven't slept the last couple of days. I'm spun up without an outlet. I think I need to go out and buy a punching bag for myself.

I can be changed by what happens to me but I refuse to be reduced by it - Maya Angelou.

Terry

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    • “Grief is like the ocean; it comes on waves ebbing and flowing. Sometimes the water is calm, and sometimes it is overwhelming. All we can do is learn to swim.” –Vicki Harrison
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Re: Hitting A Wall
« Reply #16 on: August 24, 2015, 01:00:54 PM »

Hi Robin - so nice to see a post from you. I'm glad you had someone with you to move Tom's clothes. I know how difficult that is. My sister folded some of my husband's shirts and suits and brought them back up north with her to a charity but I still can't touch my Dad's belongings and I'll never move my children's belongings. Ever. They'll have to move it out with my body when my time comes. :confused1:

What a mess and how sad the situation with your step daughter. I'm sorry for even more hurt and pain at such a difficult time. :tearyeyed:

Join a gym and you can use a real punching bag. It releases a lot of stress and it's wonderful exercise! Can't hurt to try it and you might be surprised. :icon_flower:

Try to get some sleep if you can or just rest. Thanks for the update. :love9:

Always think of you,
Love,
Terry
« Last Edit: August 24, 2015, 05:51:01 PM by Terry »

lynne123

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Re: Hitting A Wall
« Reply #17 on: August 24, 2015, 07:11:40 PM »
Hi Robin,
Have not heard from you. I miss all your good thoughts. Thinking about you all the time,
Lots Of Love,
Lynne

RobinBlue

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Re: Hitting A Wall
« Reply #18 on: August 25, 2015, 07:13:57 PM »
Hi everyone,

Still struggling with this latest turn of events with Tom's daughter. Now I'm seeing the family and his friends slowly back away and putting distance between me and them. I just want to scream that I didn't do anything but I know it would fall on deaf ears.

Terry, I think I will join a gym and beat the heck out of punching bag.
I can be changed by what happens to me but I refuse to be reduced by it - Maya Angelou.

lynne123

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Re: Hitting A Wall
« Reply #19 on: August 26, 2015, 04:34:40 PM »
Robin,
Be strong I am having so many problems with my family that I refuse to speak with them. They have no respect, only to bring back old problems. I'm trying to turn away as my therapist said. maybe it will help.

be strong i am always with you,
Love,
Lynne

lynne123

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Re: Hitting A Wall
« Reply #20 on: August 30, 2015, 11:52:42 AM »
Hi Robin,
Hope you are doing ok. I am going to leave the site.
TAKE CARE,
LYNNE

funlearningmother

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Re: Hitting A Wall
« Reply #21 on: August 30, 2015, 02:10:30 PM »
((((Lynn))))

Sorry to hear you are going to leave. I haven't been saying much. I hope it's not due to lack of response. I have been struggling with a lot and haven't been up to talking directly to people. Sometimes stuff just pours out of me and other times I can say nothing for days.

Hugs and love, Shelby

lynne123

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Re: Hitting A Wall
« Reply #22 on: August 31, 2015, 04:03:33 PM »
Hi Robin,
Yes I do understand that everyone deals with grief differently. I an jut going through a hard time grieving every night thinking that my husband is waiting to have dinner  with me and thinking he is still here. I know you understand, and you have been a wonderful support for me and many others. I just noticed my Emptiness is already off the web healing.  I do not know how to even contact Terry to find out why, cause you are the only person I have posted that I might want to leave the site. I THINK IN THE LONG RUN I WANT TO STAY BUT IT IS ODD THAT I AM ALREADY OFF THE SITE,
Let me know,
Love You,
Lynne

Terry

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Re: Hitting A Wall
« Reply #23 on: August 31, 2015, 05:19:46 PM »

Hi Lynne,

I'm the one who responded to your post above regarding your leaving the site, not Robin.

When you posted that you were leaving the site, anyone can read that, since it's posted openly on the board. It's not private.

Regarding your thread, titled "Emptiness"...it's still on the board. Just click on page 2. As new posts are written, the older posts/threads run consecutively.

Is there any way that I can help you in regards to the board? I'd be happy to help in any way, just let me know. We could meet in the chat room if you like.

Just know that we are here for you if you want to share. And if you choose to leave then I wish you only the best.

With love and understanding,
Terry
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« Last Edit: September 04, 2015, 07:00:58 PM by Terry »