Paula,
I truly know what you are going thur, i think about die every single day.... Josh's was killed in a one car auto accident, there was no drug, or alcohol in his body, he just lost control.... I got the autopsy, and it said Josh had mulpital injurys, I asked the ambulance people and the officer that was there if there was a lot of blood and did he suffer any, they al said no, so i had my lawyer get the photo's that was taken at the accident and found out that i was lied to,my son had a lot of blood all over his body and his little eyes were open, I know people think that i am crazy for wanting the photos, but this were the last picture of my baby... no i dont look at them everyday, when i get realy down and want my son i pull them out, I studied his face and several things in there photo's, Josh never wore his class ring it was always on his key chain, but in the photo, it shows them taking it off his finger,... no that ring means so much more to me.
all I can say is hang in there, think of the good times and other family members that you have.
if you need to talk send me a message and i will give you my phone number
please take care of yourself, we all need each other
lots of love virgie JOSH'S MOM