((((Janka))))
Thank you so much. That was very relaxing. I had a very stressful day and am not really sure how I feel about the whole thing.
For everyone:
A woman fainted in my arms. It was nothing horrible, she was just dizzy and pregnant so they took her to the hospital to make sure that all was ok. For me when she was gone and everything else was taken over and completed I was shaky and weak and vibrating. It reminded me of Riki's accident and made me realize that I really don't know what the steps of a trauma do to a person, in particular the thoughts and actions. I have seen information about the steps being denial and anger and bargaining, etc. I do not know the initial first few hours when something traumatic is happening. What is normal? What do other people go through? For me I was very calm and I loose it after the event, except in Riki's case it took me about a year or 2 to really feel what was going on for me. But i do not really know what to think of the accident and all the thought's that went through my head, some of which I think are quite selfish, except I have to remind myself that I thought he was going to be ok and that I was probably deeper in shock then I realized and there was a lot of doing what I was programmed to or what was instinctive and not necessarily what was helpful.
Shelby x