For my dear friends on our wonderful board.

[Janka]

My dear friends on this board,

I´d like to send this beautiful music for all of you,

from the bottom of my heart,

with love Janka

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7oW1WrdJqA8
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[Terry]

Janka, this is really beautiful. I needed to hear a calming melody so thank you so much for thinking of us. So sweet.

Love,
Terry

[funlearningmother]

((((Janka))))

Thank you so much. That was very relaxing. I had a very stressful day and am not really sure how I feel about the whole thing.
For everyone:
 A woman fainted in my arms. It was nothing horrible, she was just dizzy and pregnant so they took her to the hospital to make sure that all was ok. For me when she was gone and everything else was taken over and completed I was shaky and weak and vibrating. It reminded me of Riki's accident and made me realize that I really don't know what the steps of a trauma do to a person, in particular the thoughts and actions. I have seen information about the steps being denial and anger and bargaining, etc. I do not know the initial first few hours when something traumatic is happening. What is normal? What do other people go through? For me I was very calm and I loose it after the event, except in Riki's case it took me about a year or 2 to really feel what was going on for me. But i do not really know what to think of the accident and all the thought's that went through my head, some of which I think are quite selfish, except I have to remind myself that I thought he was going to be ok and that I was probably deeper in shock then I realized and there was a lot of doing what I was programmed to or what was instinctive and not necessarily what was helpful.

Shelby x

[Janka]

I send to all of you my favourite song I´ve recently found to be beautiful,

so I let it play for you from the bottom of my heart,too.

With love Janka

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UJVXtddZbeo
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[funlearningmother]

Janka

I grew up with that song. Sad song for me. So much growing to do.

Hugs,
Shelby

[Tom]

I love that song!  Thanks Janka.

[Janka]

For my dear friends on this board who miss their loved ones.

With love Janka

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vlvGl3jAVgk
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[funlearningmother]

Dear Janka

I didn't even listen to that song and started crying. Before Riki died he talked about that he saw a scene of my kids and me in a field with all these little purple flowers and he was off in the distance watching us. He was by some trees watching us and he was very upset that he was separate from us. He talked about his 'vision' a few times. This image is one of a few pictures I pulled off the internet a few weeks ago of the purple flowers to use as a safe place for me to go when I meditate after doing my counselling. I couldn't use it because it was too sad for me and now here I see it again.

I am not sure what it all means and I will do my best to see it in a positive light. Thank you.

Hugs and love Shelbyx