Brenda, thank you, I hope all of you feel that wonderful I felt today. I have been chewing my son out alot lately needed a sign or answer, this has shown me again to today the answers never come to this but oh the signs are there and found one in my mailbox today.
Kyme smiles turned to tears reading your post, happy and sad tears, part of us today isn't it. Honored we are and always will be. I am so happy to hear about this letter you received. We never know we do we when something like this will come from another to remind us all that knew our children will also love and miss them forever. For some its best to be unheard for others its best to scream it to the skys above, our children are loved, admired, respected, and sooo soooo missed by many. For us it does mean more than life itself today.
Jeanne, man oh man is right, when times are hard and life is such a rutt someone or something or Chad seems to send me something that tells me this is the best it will be and damn I don't like it but damn I love that boy of mine and so so proud and so very much missing him.
Rebecca I agree, friends and family are so worried about saying our kids name that it will bring sadness or tears for us, and some just can't say their name for their own reasons also, today I just tell them the sadness and tears comes whether I hear his name or not but I love more than anything to talk about the good times and memories even if the tears flow. Its so hard on all that knew and loved our kids, no one likes tears or hurt and no one fully understands as a parent that will be there forever but we can smile also and we do want to live on sometimes we simply don't know how without our kid we miss so much. The little things, our life was full of little things that brought happiness the little things today mean so much more.
Dena, WOW...never imagined seeing anything but a bill in my mailbox, and the love for my son was there today, wow, jeepers greepers lol (another one of Chads lines) wow....I stopped my mind from the circle of craziness on this, it truely was love for my son, love for us, and I see I need to make some contact with some kids real soon, meaning....I left my doors unlocked prior to Chads death, open to all and no need to knock, our home was everyones home, all that knew us was welcome day or night, Chris (for those that don't know he was the one I believe caused these deaths yet still hold Chad responsible for not stopping the car if that makes sense) anyway Chris would come over at wee hours in the morning and scare me and cry and talk suicide etc much more and much worse was happening so I locked the doors. Haven't unlocked the since. What I didn't realize was until now I locked all my kids out that I loved. This letter today helped me see much did change by my choices long ago, reasonably so I know this but time for me to look at things differently today, and I am so glad I have this oppportunity now ontop of hearing Chad is loved and missed. WOW...is so right Dena I see I locked the door from everyone not just Chris. My door will open today, won't bring Chad back, and I know it won't bring Chris in he is long gone, but I see today one person misses what they had not only with Chad but with us, makes me wonder how many kids I walked away from by locking that door. Chad is with me, I know he wants me to unlock the door and I know why and I have to agree. Just got to love him, when I least expect it he comes through and this one was huge for me. We never know and I keep thinking our kids are always with us and there love is so powerful, I don't think this anymore I know today, its not from God or any higher power its from the heart, love is so powerful and does bring peace to many things.
WOW....don't know if I will ever have what I have at this moment again, but its ok, I have this one to carry me through more moments and hope I never forget how I feel today. Missing Chad, wanting Chad here, that will always be, love that boy of mine.
Sy I am happy to hear you had a smile, we need those smiles and so glad Chad and his friend and I could give that to you today and very glad you had good memories of Ray.
I need to get to bed here, I am suppose to be getting up at 3:30 am and heading to Chicago. Thats my usual time of actually falling asleep and I am so wound up from today don't know if I will sleep or not but know I will be sleeping in the car to Chicago no doubt
. Have a peaceful weekend and I hope some wonderful memories of the past bring a smile or two.
Love to all
Deb