Author Topic: Need Someone To Talk To  (Read 3717 times)

ScottW

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Need Someone To Talk To
« on: September 24, 2014, 09:39:49 AM »
I've really been doing pretty well over the past couple of years.  However, right now, I'm having a lot of troubles (my career, my marriage, my life).  I don't know how many of you feel this way but, to me, I never want to 'bitch' about my relationship (or my wife) to my friends.  It's too personal.  The only person that I ever felt comfortable with, re: discussing this stuff was my sister, Jori.

I need so badly to talk to her, to get some things off of my chest, to get some feedback.  I feel like my life is falling apart because I have no one to talk to about some real problems (problems that I can't share with my wife).  I know that this sounds awful, I know that there should be no secrets in a marriage . . .

Just frustrated, upset, really sad, and having a hard time coming to terms with the fact that "this is how it is" . . . and "this is how it forever will be".

Terry

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Re: Need Someone To Talk To
« Reply #1 on: September 24, 2014, 01:02:51 PM »

Scott....I understand missing that special person that we felt most comfortable sharing our inner most secrets with. I talk to my eldest son all the time, in fact a few times a day. "Jeff, did you know?"... and so on and so forth. I've had many experiences with the dead and my son has been physically in the same room with me. Do I understand it? No, and I don't need to. I just know it's real.

As you know my Dad died a couple years ago and he was my best friend. He knew me and understood me better than anyone and was always supportive throughout my life. I talk to him, too and Dad has shown himself to me. Twice since his death I have seen him.

My life has certainly changed since losing everyone. They're all gone....no one is left. So, I understand how the absence of Jori has left such a huge gap in your life. The two of you were so close and she understood and accepted you like no other. She's still with you, Scott. You have to believe that. Talk to her, aloud.


 
I don't know how many of you feel this way but, to me, I never want to 'bitch' about my relationship (or my wife) to my friends.  It's too personal. 


It's not bitching/complaining, it's sharing how you feel. And, it has everything to do with who is on the receiving end that gives you the impression that it is anything other than a healthy exchange of shared feelings. Have you ever considered sharing with your wife how you're feeling? Actually setting aside a time and letting her know how important it is to you that she knows how you feel? What's the worst that can happen? She says, "I don't care" or "I don't want to talk about it" but I don't think she will respond that way. Sometimes we have to swallow our pride and allow our soul to lay open to the ones we love and hopefully trust. Let them see our pain. Let them feel our pain. We all need that, Scott. Have you considered marriage counselling? It's another tool to strengthen your relationship. It takes courage to face the fact that there is something lacking in our relationships and it takes even more courage to ask for help. I don't think you're lacking in that department. I've been reading your posts, your many private thoughts for a very long time and you seem to be very open to growth. I've always admired that trait in you.

I'm not Jori but I'm here to listen to whatever you have to share. I understand your frustration that things will never be the same because I feel the same way. They won't. Because those people who made such an impact on our lives are no longer here. We want to touch them again. Hold them so close. Talk with them. That finality is sharp like a razor's edge.

Know you are loved and cared for here. :love9:

Hugs,
Terry

Janka

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Re: Need Someone To Talk To
« Reply #2 on: September 24, 2014, 01:20:20 PM »
Dear Scott!

You were so kind to write me and read my poem,so Iīd also like to be listening to you if the time is appropriate to share with someone else.Iīve found out more support and understanding here than elsewhere with my friends,as they arenīt overwhelmed with sadness as myself,and though hardly trying to understand me,however theyīre so far from the state of my mind,heart and soul.I feel myself more here,because I can talk about anything as long as necessary,anytime I need,anyone I want to,as well as others being for me,and thatīs why I feel like home now finding the place Iīve looked for so long. If you donīt want to be specific,write only what you want and I'll be listening and talking to you. Do as you see fit.Iīm always here for you.

Hugs from Janka

​I always kiss you from the heart,my endless love,
you know how much I love you,also stars above,
you will always be my dearest and only one,
I can not wait to be with you,my beloved Jan.

Janka

Gail08

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Re: Need Someone To Talk To
« Reply #3 on: September 25, 2014, 03:50:34 PM »
Scott,
I understand exactly how you feel.  I am having a hard time accepting that there are things that will FOREVER be changed and that there is no changing them back.  This is something I am having a very big struggle with.  But if you ever want to talk to someone here I will always be here.

You take care.

Gail
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 J O L E N E              In my heart 4 ever

ScottW

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Re: Need Someone To Talk To
« Reply #4 on: September 25, 2014, 08:38:16 PM »
Thanks for all of your kind words. Unfortunately, feeling sort of hopeless right now.

Janka

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Re: Need Someone To Talk To
« Reply #5 on: September 26, 2014, 11:40:58 AM »
Dear Scott!

Iīve been trying to get my feelings out everytime I write a poem to my beloved Jan dedicated from the bottom of my heart for keeping the memories of my beloved one alive forever.I get through life,although overwhelmed with sadness,but according to my strong values to cope with my pain on my own and as time passes by,I only learn living with pain on and on,but some things don't ever go back to where they were.Yes,the pain leaves the scars.The vacation,itīs something worst for me,the Christmas especially.At that time I feel such lonely as never,because I have no family,my friends are very busy and before Christmas my beloved Jan died.The Christmas are anyway the saddest holiday of the year.Despite of everything Iīm staying a positive,smiling and kind person,trying my best I can as a strong person going on as my beloved Jan wish for all days long.Last time while I was walking down the street feeling gloomy again,I took a look at the woman on the pavement and I bought the magazine for homeless to help her;2 days ago I gave the money to another homeless to help him;the day before yesterday I also contributed to help the blind children...Then I felt better to make a smile again.I try my best I can to relieve the pain of anyone to feel good and to find a comfort in my suffering.People have lost a compassion,therefore everything goes down.If you could only know how much I do love my dearest Jan,more than everything all over the world as well as he always did and never stopped and as well as Iīll always do...
I feel hopeless too,therefore I feel happy here for the people just like you which I can be helped to,by listening,also giving an advice and of course to find a comfort for myself that I need so much...
Please,donīt be sad.You can write me anytime you want to...
Iīm here every day.This site is more real and the people in it more kind than elsewhere,thatīs why I hope that you find a support and comfort here as well as I look for...

Look forward to your post again!

Hugs from Janka

​I always kiss you from the heart,my endless love,
you know how much I love you,also stars above,
you will always be my dearest and only one,
I can not wait to be with you,my beloved Jan.

Janka

Doug1222

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Re: Need Someone To Talk To
« Reply #6 on: October 15, 2014, 01:46:39 PM »
I've really been doing pretty well over the past couple of years.  However, right now, I'm having a lot of troubles (my career, my marriage, my life).  I don't know how many of you feel this way but, to me, I never want to 'bitch' about my relationship (or my wife) to my friends.  It's too personal.  The only person that I ever felt comfortable with, re: discussing this stuff was my sister, Jori.

I need so badly to talk to her, to get some things off of my chest, to get some feedback.  I feel like my life is falling apart because I have no one to talk to about some real problems (problems that I can't share with my wife).  I know that this sounds awful, I know that there should be no secrets in a marriage . . .

Just frustrated, upset, really sad, and having a hard time coming to terms with the fact that "this is how it is" . . . and "this is how it forever will be".

I know exactly how you feel, Scott. Exactly. Saying there should be no secrets in a marriage is ridiculous in my opinion. There are things I don't want to burden my wife with. Sometimes I feel like I need someone to talk to besides her.

It doesn't sound awful to me. It sounds like my life. Sometimes you need someone to talk to. It's hard when that someone is gone.

You're not alone.