my mother-in-law was my mother for 44 years. my 'real' mother had me for 19 years and never missed an opportunity to tell me she didn't want me or like me. my mother-in-law Adele was there for me when I needed a parent and when she became widowed I asked her to move in with us. we had 7 years together and they were great. then in January she was diagnosed with small cell lung cancer that had already spread to her liver and the doctor said she had only 2 months to live. well, she lived until August, but the past 6 months have been very hard and the 5 days before she died was the worse. she was embarrased that she was incontinent. she hated that she could not walk without help. and she had pain and suffered. I nursed her at night and my daughter cared for her during the day. on the 6th at 2:30 am she moaned and I held her hand and washed her face. I was falling asleep, so I moved to a chair and fell asleep. my husband woke me at 6:30 and said she was gone.
I feel really bad that she was alone when she died. she was unconscious for 2 days, but still she stopped moaning when I held her hand or touched her face. I left her alone. her hand and face were already getting cold. why are living people warm and dead people cold? what is it about the human spirit that causes heat? when the spirit leaves the biological chemical reactions that produces heat stops. why? the same thing happened when my daughter died. she became cold.