2nd year

[jbryant]

well its coming on 2 yrs now and I've come and gone from the east coast back to the west 6 times in 2 yrs and I want to go in Aug for his day but not sure yet. I'm finding this to be even harder than the first year and I know it has to do with me living with family for that first year but my loving sister thought it would be best it helped but it was a mistake cause I've had to live it for myself alone for the first time and trust me its a whole lot of difference but things happened so fast that year its still a blur at times. all the books I've read has helped me so much to see things in a clearer manner and it keeps me longing for more and I just keep reading. I've learned how strong a man can be in times of sickness and a amputation and Doyle was that man.as I'm sure everyone has that same person in their life and misses them just as much. I have also learned that being a caregiver for over 20 yrs ( parents one at a time and my grandmother and then Doyle) well to pick up and carry on after its all done and over with well Im still learning how to pick up the pieces and carry on but Ive been out of touch with reality to long I think the world changed right in front of me and I didn't notice I guess I was just to busy. to those who wonder if their is a God well let me tell you Im living proof their is its been 2 yrs and Im still hepc neg and I didn't take any drugs to off set it (interferon) cause no Dr. could tell me how I aquried it back in 1979 and I was a carrier and I would die from it and to top that off their is no more cirrhosis of my liver not even a trace so you tell me. Im blessed to be love by one man for 37 years and I thank you and I love and miss you more today than yesterday and Im sure it will go that way till we meet again and I will stay true to our love cause that's just the way it is.
Im still healing with my Hospice work and I will continue till I know differently. Thank you all for listening and helping me along my journey. to be continued  JB   

[mousewife]

J,

The second year is often harder than the first.  I'm glad your health is doing well.  I hope you will feel more healing as time goes on.

Peace and Healing.
mousewife

[Terry]

((((John))))

Thanks for sharing this with us. You've come so far in two years that it's really amazing. You've continued to stay open with your humanness, your vulnerabilities and your strengths and I believe that that is the reason you've come to an understanding with your life and it's mysteries. To share of one's time and to give as freely and openly as you have and are is healing. I think you've learned that healing is inside of you and not something we find anywhere else. We are in control of our lives, in every way. And, the choices you've made reflect that, and so beautifully.

Healing and moving through life is not depressing as some would believe. It's just the opposite. It's uplifting and courageous that one keeps working toward healing instead of trying to *fit in* with that crowd of grief police that say you should be moving on and though it's comfortable to follow that crowd, it's not in any way healthy. The road less traveled may be a bit lonely at times but it's the right road to be on.

Thoughts of Doyle, always and sending my love to you,
Terry

[Doug1222]

You've come a long way, John. I remember when you got here. We both found this place about the same time. You really have come a long way. I'm sure Doyle would be and might be very happy with your progress.

Life has to go on. I'm proud of you.

(((((((John))))))))