Lesley

[helene]

Hi Everyone,

I'm sorry I haven't been around for so long now. I've missed you all very much. I've been depressed and it's hard to stay in touch with people when you're depressed. At least I'm finding that out. Today marks four years since Lesley died. It's really hard to believe that but it's true. And I'm still not divorced. In fact the entire process is stalled.

I feel like my life is stalled. First there was the shock and grief of losing Lesley and then the betrayal of my husband for some internet prostitute and him driving me out of my own home.

Well, I am blessed with some very good friends in this town. And I know you're my friends here at Webhealing. So much of my life was tied up with Lesley and my ex-husband Barry. Now they're both gone. One is dead and the other is metaphorically dead to me. I know I'm better off without the latter, but I still suffer from the loss. And as for Lesley, I'll never get over losing her. How does one really? One just goes on living somehow.

Anyway, I hope you're all doing ok. I'm going to really try and keep in touch better here. I used to be such a good letter writer and good at staying in touch here too. And then my marriage exploded and I haven't really been the same since. Not having my own place to live really wears thin after  while too and it's been 8 months for me now. I find it difficult to learn how to live my own life because so much of it was tied up with him. We never had children, but it was still 27 years together. I also mourn my two cats because I never see them. I was visiting the house and the cats while he got out, but the place looks like hell (he's not keeping it up and the cats are suffering shell-shock) and it's just too depressing for me to go over there any more. He lives like a squatter in there, in a disgusting mess. No job. He just pisses around on the internet with his sex sites all day. It's absolutely repulsive.

Ok, I've gone on long enough. I'll shut up now.

Helene.

[Terry]

Hi Helene - so nice to read an update from you. I posted Lesley's angel date after I read this post but I never saw it in "Birthdays and Angel Dates" but it's in there now. Do post her birthday in that thread so we can remember her on her special dates. Thanks!

I find that no matter how much time has passed, it always feels like *yesterday*...sadly. Especially around their dates which is always more difficult. I understand.

I read where you're very unhappy and still not divorced but didn't see the reason for that. Would you like to share? Only if you're comfortable doing so.

I sure have missed your posts. Especially your poetry. It's always so touching and, telling.

Hugs gal!

[Doug1222]

Hi, Helene! Thanks for dropping in. I haven't been here as much as I was, but I still like to keep up with everybody. I think of you often.

I'm so sorry about your husband. My daughter is going through a divorce right now, too. It's not a good place to be.

You will move on. You're a lovely soul, and Leslie is always with you. I'm glad you found friends. You'll be ok.

(((((((Helene)))))))

[ScottW]

Thanks for the update Helene.  I miss you all.

[Gail08]

Helene,
I just wanted you to know I was thinking of you last month.  I know how hard certain months can be.  In fact, July is one for me too so I can so relate to you.  You are in my thoughts and prayers so very often but you were even more so last month.  I do hope that you were able to find some peace.

Love, Gail