Author Topic: Scared and confused  (Read 2619 times)

Gail08

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Scared and confused
« on: June 04, 2014, 03:35:59 PM »
I am so very scared and confused right now.  I have been having a very hard time coping with the loss the last few days.  This morning I didn't get to sleep until 4:00 and yesterday morning it was 6:00.  I have been reading books on the loss of a mother and so many say that it will never get an easier.  That really scares me as I don't know if I can bear the pain if it doesn't ever get any easier because it is so overwhelming. 

I am also having a very hard time coming to terms with a decision that I had to make which ended her life.  I was the one who had to tell them to stop pumping air into her that was keeping her heart going. How do you accept having to make a decision like that?  I know it was what she wanted but it was still the hardest decision I have ever had to make in my life.
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Sally1950

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Re: Scared and confused
« Reply #1 on: June 12, 2014, 09:36:14 AM »
my adult daughter filled out all the papers preventing any kind of life support, but when she stopped breathing I was desperate for them to do something. I felt I should have prevented her from signing those forms. but that was what she wanted. she was never going to get better, she was suffering and wanted it to end. I still feel bad even though intellectually I understand it was what she wanted, but in my heart I did not want her to die. I understand how you feel. the heart doesn't always understands what the brain decides.