Author Topic: Thoughts  (Read 2067 times)

Mommysbabygirl

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Thoughts
« on: May 19, 2014, 10:59:22 PM »
It will be 4 years in November since my mom passed. It has slowly gotten better. Some days are fine and others I just want to cry. I was so used to her telling me what to do that I wonder if I am doing anythign right. I never had the confidence to believe in myself and I struggle to figure things out. I know (especially at my age) that I have to do it on my own. There are things she never taught me and instead of being mad about it I have to to move on and teach them to myself. In the end parents do the best they can. I'm no a parent yet, but I cannot be perfect. Nothing in life is.

Today is my mom's birthday. She would have been 73. I had been having anxiety for about a month now. At the end of April I had a miscarriage. A week after that my cousin passed. Then mother's day and today her birthday. I feel like all I experience is loss. I think about co-workers who have lost one or both parents and still they move on. Perhaps they hide it well, but I feel weak for stull struggling at times. I remind myself that we are all different and we all heal differently.

I'm considering therapy again as I have no one in my day to day life to talk to. I do journal when time allows. I'm also considering yoga/meditation. I have so much tension in my body. Since she passed I have been unable to relax. There are days or weeks that pass and I'm ok, but I think I am just pushing it away instead of feeling it or dealing with it. That isn't healthy. I'm trying to take care of myself more because no one else will do it. Sometimes after awhile you realize that certain things just aren't that important anymore. You can't live for your parents (or anyone else). You have to live for you.

Terry

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Re: Thoughts
« Reply #1 on: May 20, 2014, 09:43:22 AM »

I'm so sorry to hear of your miscarriage.

Wishing your Mama a Happy Heavenly Birthday and I hope your memories were the sweetest and a special one found your heart.

Both Yoga and meditation will be helpful. Good choices. Let us know how that goes for you.

You're right, too that we have to take care of ourselves because no one else is going to or should be doing that.

Thanks for sharing. I always love hearing from you. :love9:

Baby steps.

Love,
Terry

Mommysbabygirl

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Re: Thoughts
« Reply #2 on: May 20, 2014, 10:07:48 PM »
Thank you Terry.

I realize that I haven't progressed much in my grief. Not as much as I'd like to. I didn't do anything to change it so I will be looking to getting help, yoga, and meditation.