Author Topic: How is everyone doing?  (Read 10460 times)

funlearningmother

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Re: How is everyone doing?
« Reply #15 on: June 19, 2014, 10:11:14 PM »
Oh Mousewife, I feel for you.

The only way I am making it through is to focus on others and I play a lot of games on FB. It's become my nemesis because I know how unhealthy and time consuming it is for me but it's always been my coping mechanism to play games or read or TV or anything to escape whatever pain I have been feeling at the time. Now I am making it through because there are things that I have to do for my kids and they are my motivation to keep going. I have started writing to them as well to explain why I made some of the choices that I made so that maybe they won't hurt as much from the pain I caused them and I am finding that when I do write, that I understand better WHY I made some of the choices I did or how those choices may have affected me and are still affecting me.
I wish that I knew how to help better but at the moment that's all I have. Big hugs and lots of love

mousewife

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Re: How is everyone doing?
« Reply #16 on: June 20, 2014, 09:15:42 AM »
Thanks.  I hope for you to have healing too.

Peace and Healing,
mousewife

Terry

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Re: How is everyone doing?
« Reply #17 on: June 20, 2014, 04:49:53 PM »
Hello everyone this is an update on my situation.  People are telling me that I am looking much better but when I look at photographs I see that I am not smiling.  I am making progress. I have returned to church and to participating in a few of their activities. I am not participating much in community activities, yet.

I am flying yo Alaska, in a few weeks I tend to sit around the house and vegetate, which I know is not good for me.  There have been many maintenance problems with the house and farm.  I have been blessed with good friends great construction people, willing to assist me.  Making decisions with out Robert, is hard but necessary. I miss his companionship and always will.  I am making progress though.  I can now look at picture if him and not cry.  I can stand going to the cemetery and no longer cry.  I have lost a few friends but have gained some supportive ones too. 

I want all to know there is a light at the end of the tunnel!  I am beginning to see it!  I am not there yet but I now have hope!  When I was on here daily, I did not feel like I would ever see it.  It is possible to developed a new normal but we will never have the old normal.  It is up to us, wether we develop a good or a bad new normal.

Hi Ann...I'm so glad to know that things are going well for you. You're right that it takes time.

Enjoy your vacation to Alaska. It sounds wonderful! :icon_flower:

Hugs,
Terry

Terry

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Re: How is everyone doing?
« Reply #18 on: June 20, 2014, 05:07:36 PM »
Glad to see that others are doing pretty well.  For some reason I am not.  Things have been down for me since the middle of last September.  I'm still doing the things I did, but I'm thinking about giving them up.  I enjoy them while I'm there, but then I come home to the same life.  I have almost no energy and little motivation.  I guess I've gotten worn down by all the things I've tried to do to make a new happy life, and still finding myself without one.  I'm discouraged and feel like nothing good will ever come to me.  I was so much better last year.  It's disappointing to be this far down at this point.  It's been seven years.  I don't want my life to continue to be like this.  I want a new fulfilling life, but where is it?  That I can't figure out.  Three of my friends are having problems now also and that's hurtful to me.

I guess I just needed to vent and hopefully get some supportive encouragement.  I hope some of you feel able to give me some.  I  could use it right now.

Peace and Healing
mousewife

Hey....I understand as I, too go through periods of time that aren't as stable and fulfilling. You mention "coming home to the same life".... after activities that make you happy. All I can add there is that it takes time to become accustomed to being with ourselves 24/7. For so long we shared a lot of our time with another and we don't realize just how much of that time we were giving away or sharing until that person is no longer here. Try to enjoy doing nice things for you. Just for you. Every day, do something nice that makes you smile. Pick yourself some wild flowers. Buy a hat! :love4: Whatever makes you happy. It's just you and you now. Get to know you better! :love9: :icon_flower:

Love,
Terry

mousewife

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Re: How is everyone doing?
« Reply #19 on: June 21, 2014, 06:15:26 AM »
Thanks Terry,

I'll try. Right now I'm taking care of a friend's cat, so I'm going out twice a day.  That's helping a little.  Maybe today I'll go shopping afterwards and find something nice.

Peace and Healing,

mouswife

jbryant

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Re: How is everyone doing?
« Reply #20 on: June 24, 2014, 05:22:40 PM »
Im an early riser and I find that a nice morning walk at 530am for a few blocks or (what my legs will let me ) more has been a big help for me its just so crisp and new and the birds chirping well it will just put a smile on for you John

Janka

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Re: How is everyone doing?
« Reply #21 on: September 24, 2014, 02:05:46 PM »
Last time while I was walking down the street feeling gloomy again,I took a look at the woman on the pavement and I bought the magazine for homeless to help her.And yesterday I gave the money to another homeless to help him.And today I also contributed to help the blind children.Then I felt better to make a smile again.I try to do my best I can to relieve the pain of anyone to be the better person and to find a comfort in my suffering.People have lost a compassion,therefore everything goes down.Thank you for reading!

Hug you all!

Janka

​I always kiss you from the heart,my endless love,
you know how much I love you,also stars above,
you will always be my dearest and only one,
I can not wait to be with you,my beloved Jan.

Janka

jbryant

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Re: How is everyone doing?
« Reply #22 on: October 04, 2014, 04:42:33 PM »
It's been a while since my last post (well not really) but I had my let femoral arty rooted and it's working great can walk again can sit for more than just a few mins at a time and it just feels great.still doing my tuck in calls at hospice and now it's going state wide to all patients as we were just the pilot it gives you a good feeling to know just by simple phones calls to the patients makes us all smile for just a moment but the joy is well just pure simple honest joy. I so excited that Seattle and the surrounding counties will start in 2 weeks and the rest of the state by the end of nov. So we hope. And I know it will happen I still see a couple patients in homes cause you need that human touch. I'm 26 months out and yes I still cry on a daily basis not a lot but it just happens and so I let them flow. I feel the need to meet new people but still ain't ready yet but slowly I will through my work and my work is just getting started as I was told by my manager. It's so hard to believe that something so simple is doing so much good. To honor the living while they are in the mist of dying is undiscribable and I'm so blessed to be able to do this.hello everyone let's keep in touch more often John :love4:

arthur

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Re: How is everyone doing?
« Reply #23 on: October 05, 2014, 07:37:37 AM »
Hello!!
I know is been 6 months since I last posted but I thought I would check in.  Jbryant I found that your work to ease other people's suffering in the midst of the worst part of their lives is so inspiring especially when you are recovering from your own surgery. Good work and keep it up!!!:))))  I still cry  most everyday myself 3  1/2 years out since that fateful day forever etched into my life 041411.  I have been dealing with migraine headaches a lot lately stemming from my post concussion syndrome that was caused by the car accident I was in on 010213.  While my skull fracture is healed the pcs will be affecting me for a long time according to the neurologist.  Of course grieving for Maureen brings the headaches about more often.  I always think about everyone here when the memories of my wife hurt the,most.  Janka I know we haven't communicated but I am so sorry about your loss. I really like the way you're dealing with your grief by giving to the poor and expressing yourself. Keep it up!! Holding your grief in is the worst thing you can do and I think I can safely say that we all have people we have to deal with in our work and daily lives who don't understand just how bad undealt with grief can be.  Take care everyone

Arthur

jbryant

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Re: How is everyone doing?
« Reply #24 on: October 06, 2014, 05:13:33 PM »
its good to see your post Arthur as I to wonder about everyone here how were all holding up what keeps us going and to learn from each other and I think that's all good.Janka welcome sorry we had to meet this way but its all good. :love4:

Janka

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Re: How is everyone doing?
« Reply #25 on: October 07, 2014, 01:07:47 PM »
Glad to see that others are doing pretty well.  For some reason I am not.  Things have been down for me since the middle of last September.  I'm still doing the things I did, but I'm thinking about giving them up.  I enjoy them while I'm there, but then I come home to the same life.  I have almost no energy and little motivation.  I guess I've gotten worn down by all the things I've tried to do to make a new happy life, and still finding myself without one.  I'm discouraged and feel like nothing good will ever come to me.  I was so much better last year.  It's disappointing to be this far down at this point.  It's been seven years.  I don't want my life to continue to be like this.  I want a new fulfilling life, but where is it?  That I can't figure out.  Three of my friends are having problems now also and that's hurtful to me.

I guess I just needed to vent and hopefully get some supportive encouragement.  I hope some of you feel able to give me some.  I  could use it right now.

Peace and Healing
mousewife

Hey....I understand as I, too go through periods of time that aren't as stable and fulfilling. You mention "coming home to the same life".... after activities that make you happy. All I can add there is that it takes time to become accustomed to being with ourselves 24/7. For so long we shared a lot of our time with another and we don't realize just how much of that time we were giving away or sharing until that person is no longer here. Try to enjoy doing nice things for you. Just for you. Every day, do something nice that makes you smile. Pick yourself some wild flowers. Buy a hat! :love4: Whatever makes you happy. It's just you and you now. Get to know you better! :love9: :icon_flower:

Love,
Terry



Dear Terry!

I really like your respond to mousewife.Recently I bought a few new things,but somehow a lot of them is in the same place where they used to be.I should be wearing it all.I will!My beloved Jan will be happy to see me happy at least for a while.Itīs necessary to do something for yourself too.

Wish you a nice afternoon!
For me itīs a late evening again (+8 hours).
Hug you both from the heart!

Janka

​I always kiss you from the heart,my endless love,
you know how much I love you,also stars above,
you will always be my dearest and only one,
I can not wait to be with you,my beloved Jan.

Janka

Janka

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Re: How is everyone doing?
« Reply #26 on: October 07, 2014, 02:23:14 PM »
Dear Arthur and jbryant!

Thank you for your kind answer!Iīm sorry for your loss too!Itīs going to be 3 years for me in November,but until now I couldnīt talk about it with all this way.Now I can,but anyway it hurts the same and always will.I only had to learn living with my painful loss day after day in order to do not break down...to do not lose the common sense...to stand up each time and move on...I do it every day of my life because of my beloved Jan waiting for me in heaven.Iīll never stop crying for him.Heīs everything Iīm living for every second of my life.If you would see the grave of him,it would touch your soul,too.There is no other place like him.I go there every month to bring him the most beautiful roses and I will always do for the rest of my life.​There is all of my love in every stone...all of my tears in every lump of the ground...He is everything I am,everything I believe in and everything I love till eternity.You can read my poems on here written for him from the bottom of my heart for keeping the memories of my beloved Jan alive forever.

Take care of yourself,we all have to...
Hope to hear from you again.
Hugs from Janka
​I always kiss you from the heart,my endless love,
you know how much I love you,also stars above,
you will always be my dearest and only one,
I can not wait to be with you,my beloved Jan.

Janka

stampingwidow

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Re: How is everyone doing?
« Reply #27 on: October 10, 2014, 11:10:08 PM »
It has been almost 3 years since Robert passed.  I am healing but the progress is slow.  I can now look at pictures if us and enjoy them instead of crying.  I can o to the Cemetery and be at peace.  In many ways I am improving.    I am staying still home too much.  I have somewhat isolated myself.  I do not make an effort to go and do things plus now I have a broken leg so it is even more difficult.  I am lonely.  I need companionship!  I need to force myself to interact more with others.  .  I am finding my friends are rather superficial.  No one comes here and few invite me anywhere.   I have spent my life doing fir others but few bother to help.  I need to reach out and develop new friends, after my leg heals.  I need activities and personal interaction that I cannot get on line.  I am beginning to smile a but  now which should be a dign if improvement. Guess I am improving but have a ways to go.

Janka

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Re: How is everyone doing?
« Reply #28 on: October 11, 2014, 10:30:39 AM »
Dear stampingwidow!

Iīm sorry for your loss!

Hug you!

Janka

​I always kiss you from the heart,my endless love,
you know how much I love you,also stars above,
you will always be my dearest and only one,
I can not wait to be with you,my beloved Jan.

Janka

Janka

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Re: How is everyone doing?
« Reply #29 on: October 21, 2014, 02:59:10 PM »
Today I had a very nice day.How little is needed to subdue a little bit of such tremendous heartache.My best friend invited me to celebrate his birthday.He found more time just for me and him.We took a seat in our favourite restaurant and I gave him my presents.
Thereīs the duck feast here now,so we had a very nice time today.We are the best friends almost all my life and itīs so nice to know that nothing has changed and he is always here for me.It was a special moment,so Iīve made up my mind to write about it on here,because itīs something that makes me happy now.So today I had the better day without crying or sadness at least for a while and I know that my beloved Jan is also happy to do not see me so sad again.This is such example as important the friendship is in the whole life.As Terry said before,itīs also important to do something for myself from time to time to feel better.After his celebration I went for a walk,I met a few kind people I havenīt seen very long time and I bought for myself a good music Iīve got hunting so long.Today is the last warm day,so Iīm glad.I keep smiling all the time and it feels so good.
How little is needed to put a smile on the face...
I wish you all a nice day as much as possible to put a smile on your faces for a while,too.

Hug you from the heart!

Janka

​I always kiss you from the heart,my endless love,
you know how much I love you,also stars above,
you will always be my dearest and only one,
I can not wait to be with you,my beloved Jan.

Janka