Author Topic: Girlfriend wants me to move on  (Read 2532 times)

justaguy987

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Girlfriend wants me to move on
« on: July 01, 2015, 01:58:32 AM »
My girlfriend of 3 years, broke up recently around Feb '15.

I work away from her in a different country. It has been almost 1.5 years that i was away from her. I visited her twice for about a week in this time frame. first visit was great, we were excited to see each other, we had a great time.
 The tension was there between us for quite some time while i was away from her. Conversations got boring, she wasn't excited to talk as much she was earlier, she stopped saying love u many a times. She would, but i felt, she said only she because everytime i said it first. This continued. Then, i thought i should visit her and make things right. I fought with my boss to let me visit back home. Finally when i met her, she wasn't excited as much to see me. We started talking about us, then she finally said that she has lost feelings for me and she doesn't love me anymore. She felt like she was cheating on me, by not saying Love you all the time during conversations. Because she didn't meant it anymore.

I coouldn't do anything that time, because i had to return back for my work. And also because i was a bit angry too. She wanted me to be friends with her, but i simply couldn't, because i really loved her and still had the feelings for her. And i couldn't do justice by just being  I wasn't in contact her for sometime. But i realized that i should talk to her, otherwise there wont be any silver lining,so i tried by asking to give a second chance to our relationship. She denied at first, but she said that she will think about it. Later she replied that she wasn't just ready to go through it again, as it very difficult for her to survive another heartbreak, and said that she couldn't gaurentee that this would work with second chance. She later said that, it's better that we dust ourselves up and move forward and there is no other way. But i said that i couldn't do it, as i still loved her.

Later one day i was talking to our mutual friend. The friend said that she was really upset and couldn't see me like this, but also couldn't guarantee me love with second chance too. She said our friend that, she wants me to move on. And for that, she would say yes to any other guy who proposes her. She said that, I will be upset for little time, but will eventually move on.

But to tell the truth, i will be devasted if she carries on and finds an new boyfriend. I really love her and don't know what to do. I am still away from her in a different country.

i really don't want to force her into this, but i also want to be back with her. I am confused, what should i do. Because, if i ask her to be with me one more time, i might lose her to someone else for real.

Anthony2015

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Re: Girlfriend wants me to move on
« Reply #1 on: August 15, 2015, 01:29:23 PM »
Long distance relationships are extremely hard.  And if it's outside the country, it's even worse.
Even for married couples that have been together for many years and raised a family...sometimes it just gets too hard.
You have to understand that problem.

If she hasn't already moved on herself, there may be hope.
Three years?  That's a long time.  Ever thought about asking for a reunion and maybe inviting her to come and live with you in this foreign country for awhile?
I don't know if she would want to.  But if she broke up because of loss of hope, that may be just what she needs.
You could say, give it some time...a few months.  You could help her get a place.
If she doesn't like it, she can leave.

But if she's moved on, then I'm not sure if it's possible.

I have been stationed overseas in the military and I've seen many married couples break up, after only 1 year apart.
The stress of so many young women in a foreign country was too much, even for the most devout husbands.
Thank goodness I was single when I went to Korea.

What I'd suggest is another trip to see her.  One last trip.
Try to see if you can re-spark the romance.  See if she'd be willing to come and stay either with you or nearby you and try dating for awhile. 
I can't promise it'll work.  But if it's because she's lost hope, it might.