So numb with pain

[Gail08]

I am having an EXTREMELY hard time right now.  If Jolene were still here I would be at her house right now and we would be getting ready for our annual  New Years Eve celebration.  Tomorrow we would be going to a movie, going to the mall, and then picking up something to eat to take home to eat while watching tv and playing games until midnight.  I miss doing this SO VERY MUCH.  I would give ANYTHING to be able to do those things with her again.  

It seems to get harder and harder each year at this time.   I thought it was suppose to get easier but it doesn't feel like it ever will.  It just REALLY REALLY hurts SOOOOO much.  I am just so numb with pain right now.  How do you adjust to pain that numbs you so much?

[browneyedgirl]

(((((Gail)))))))
Thinking of you and holding you close.

[Terry]

The holidays intensify the pain Gail. They are almost over.

Know that I'm holding you so close to my heart with love & understanding,
Terry

[ScottW]

Hugs to you, Gail. Just know that others are thinking about you. . . Myself included.

[Gail08]

Pam, Terry, and Scott
Thank you all so very much for your support during what was a VERY difficult time. My heart was hurting so much New Years Eve and New Years Day wanting to be with Jolene so badly.  There were moments that I had to just stop and take deep breaths because the hurt was just so strong. Your support made a difficult time a little easier to endure.  I could never make it through the hard times without the support of all of you here. Your support is what gives me the strength to move forward.  Know that each of you are in my thoughts and prayers daily and that you are hugged daily in my heart.

(((((Pam)))))    (((((Terry)))))   (((((Scott)))))

Love, Gail

[helene]

Hi Gail,

I'm sorry I haven't been here for so long! I've missed you and others here at Webhealing. I too feel for you with the pain you went through over the holidays missing Jolene. I agree with what others have said here: holidays can and often are excruciating for those who have lost loved ones. I do hope that you are feeling somewhat better now that the holidays are over and 'normal' day-to-day life with all its demands can sometimes be a help, adding more structure to our lives than over the holidays. The grief and pain goes on and on I know. I am still very much grieving the loss of my sister Lesley, my Dad before her, the loss of my Uncle Basil after her, and now the loss of my marriage (my ex-husband isn't dead but he is dead to me as my husband). Life keeps going on flinging its slings and arrows at us. For me, I am blessed to have some extremely wonderful friends. Without them, I would not be alive today. This divorce and what my ex did to me would have killed me. No exaggeration. Hang on to those who love and support you Gail. It was difficult for me to learn how to accept the love and support people have and do freely offer me but I'm learning!

(((((Gail)))))

Helene.

[lindsalee7]

Hi there! I am new to webhealing. I lost my younger sister 7 months ago, she was only 26. She was not just my sister, but also my best friend, and my fellow warrior fighting against a disease we both have. I would welcome any support, advice, help, anything really.
Thanks