Author Topic: Loss of loved ones  (Read 3401 times)

Lee256

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Loss of loved ones
« on: January 21, 2014, 03:27:23 PM »
Hey,I'm new to the group.I lost my mother in 2007 to  heart disease.if someone had told me I would be grieving her death 7years later I wouldn't have believed it.I am now 20years old and I need her now more so than when I was a teen.I never knew my father and I lost my brother 2years ago and my granma last year.I feel so alone.I have people in my life(3 siblings) that love and care about me but it is so hard to explain to them how I feel.I listen to my friends talk about their mothers and the things they do with them and all I have is my fading memories.I guess what I'm really searching for by sharing my story in this group is really people of my age group that have dealt with or dealing with loss.how do you move past it as a young person and learn to trust people without the fear that they might leave you soon?

Terry

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    • “Grief is like the ocean; it comes on waves ebbing and flowing. Sometimes the water is calm, and sometimes it is overwhelming. All we can do is learn to swim.” –Vicki Harrison
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Re: Loss of loved ones
« Reply #1 on: January 21, 2014, 10:27:27 PM »

Hi Lee, welcome to Webhealing. I'm so sorry you're having to live without your precious Momma. Our parents are so special and we are who we are because of their great love and sacrifice.
My Mom died when I was in my early 20's and that was back in 1977. I miss her still. But today I remember her smiles, her practical jokes as she had such an awesome sense of humor. Losing your Momma in your teens had to be especially trying. That time in our lives is filled with so much uncertainty as we're just beginning to search for who we are and where we'll land.
The 'letting go' which is the most difficult part of grieving or acceptance that they are really not coming back is the beginning to healing our hearts.
You've experienced a lot of loss for one so young. My heart goes out to you. Having no other parental figure in the home to offer support had to also be painful.


how do you move past it as a young person and learn to trust people without the fear that they might leave you soon?


People of all ages can find it difficult to open their hearts again after a traumatic loss. For me it's just living my life and accepting that death will come to us all and really trying to appreciate every moment that I'm blessed to have love in my life. I've buried most of my family. My three precious children, also. And my Dad as recent as two years ago. Due to our ages, we're in different places in life but when it comes to grief we're all on the same stage.

It's very easy to distance ourselves from those we love in fear of losing them, even if we're not doing it consciously. I try to remind myself to not focus or dwell on losing anyone. Instead I keep my heart open and just let all of their love pour in. It's such a beautiful feeling. That I can control. Life and death I can not.

If you find that you're feeling dismembered by your grief and it's length, you may want to consider talking with a grief counselor. Sometimes it really helps, Lee to talk with someone who is not in our inner circle and also one who is experienced in grief and it's many complications. Preferably one who has also lived through the death of a great love in their life. You may have to try a few before you find one that fits your needs. Just a thought.


I have people in my life(3 siblings) that love and care about me but it is so hard to explain to them how I feel.


I understand having siblings and feeling alone. I only have one sibling but I was Daddy's girl and we have grieved for my Dad very differently. I cannot share a lot of my feelings with my sister as her relationship was not as close as mine and Dad's was.
Just know that we look forward to hearing more about your precious Mom as you feel comfortable sharing. Write as little or as much as you need to. Someone is always here listening and we all understand the pain from a great loss.

Sending you a big hug and know you are never alone. :love9:

((((((((( Lee )))))))))

Love,
Terry

Lee256

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Re: Loss of loved ones
« Reply #2 on: January 22, 2014, 11:56:10 AM »
Hey Terry.your words are so comforting.I don't really have anybody to talk to.All my friends haven't really experienced loss and its difficult for me to listen to my friends talk about the fights they have with their parents or siblings and say things like they hate them(because we are @ that age) whereas I would just like to have someone to call when I'm @ varsity to ask me about my day or even pop in to check up on me.I want to know that someone loves me unconditionally as only a mother would.I went to therapy when I was in high school and that stopped wen I got 2 varsity.I think wat I really struggle with is accepting.nobody wants to accept that they are alone in the world.Everything I do whether its @ school or otherwise I do it for myself and since my mother passed on that's how its been.Recently I find myself not wanting to do well in anything because when I do well I get no affirmation from anybody which just leaves me feeling depressed.                                                                                                                                          Tthankyou for taking the time to read and reply.it really helps to know that their are so many people out there dealing with theses things and I am not alone.                                                    ((((((( Terry))))))))))

browneyedgirl

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Re: Loss of loved ones
« Reply #3 on: January 22, 2014, 05:32:13 PM »
((((Lee))))
Welcome to Webhealing...I am sorry you have to be here, I am very sorry for the losses that you have suffered.  I, too, lost my brother, just almost 5 years now. 

You have come to the right place.  Please feel free to browse other Boards.

Welcome, again, and know that we are here for you.  :engel2:
Tony Repola 07/20/66 – 03/29/09
I know you are fishing in the oceans and streams of heaven

Lee256

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Re: Loss of loved ones
« Reply #4 on: January 23, 2014, 08:56:07 AM »
((((Browneyed girl))))).                                                                                                                             Thankyou for making me feel so welcome here.Iv been going through other boards and reading peoples stories.its so sad and comforting at the same time.I'm sorry to hear about your brother,having lost a brother their are so many things you wish to couldve said and done while you had the chance. Feeling really grateful for this group.                                                               Lee