Author Topic: Now . . . not sad enough?!  (Read 3389 times)

ScottW

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Now . . . not sad enough?!
« on: December 20, 2013, 08:50:32 PM »
So, the subject line of my last post was, "so sad".  Now, I feel like I'm going crazy.  Today would have been Jori's 45th birthday.  This day has been a really tough one for me over the past 5 years.  But today, it just seemed like another day. Maybe that's healing but it's really giving me a feeling of guilt and I'm confused.

There has been so much going on in my life.  I started getting really depressed a few weeks before Thanksgiving (Jori died the Saturday after Thanksgiving, November 29).  Then, on the 22nd of November this year, out of nowhere, my cousin, Kim, was diagnosed with Stage IV colon cancer (it spread to her liver).  I am very close with Kim and she is very, very close with Bryce and Sean (Jori's boys).  Too much. With all of the concern about Kim, I was completely overwhelmed. At the same time, I was concerned that Jori didn't "get her due". Sound crazy?

Kim had surgery last week.  Tumor in her colon and tumors on her liver were removed. We do have hope.  She will start chemo in a few weeks and then it's "test, wait, and see".

To top it off, I am busier right now professionally than I've been in 4+ years. This is a very good thing on many levels but i think it has prevented me from processing / feeling the way I normally do, today, this time of year, etc..  It's all just really confusing to me.  I don't want to forget about Jori, I don't want anyone to forget about Jori.  My head is spinning.

Thanks for "listening".  Happy holidays to all (whatever that means, right?).

Scott

Terry

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Re: Now . . . not sad enough?!
« Reply #1 on: December 22, 2013, 06:23:06 PM »

As you shared, Scott you have so much going on right now with so many in your life falling ill; and I'm sorry to hear that. It's very sad when we know someone we care for and love deeply may not be in our lives for as long as we had hoped. And, that can be very overwhelming.

You'll never forget Jori. That's not even remotely possible, in my humble opinion. She'll always be in your heart and your life. Love doesn't die.

I've experienced similar many years and many dates (not just one) and it was all due to being overwhelmed, also in my life. I never felt guilty. No reason to. I know my heart and you know yours, Scott.

Grief is always confusing. I don't think that ever changes. It travels a road all it's own.

Hey, have a happy one with your family. I hope the holidays are kind to you, in all ways! :love9:

((((((((Scott))))))))

Love,
Terry

Gail08

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Re: Now . . . not sad enough?!
« Reply #2 on: December 30, 2013, 04:17:22 PM »
Scott,
You need not worry because Jori will never be forgotten by you are those of us here at webhealing.  She will ALWAYS be remembered.

(((((SCOTT)))))
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browneyedgirl

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Re: Now . . . not sad enough?!
« Reply #3 on: December 31, 2013, 05:43:28 PM »
((((((Scott)))))))  :engel2:
Tony Repola 07/20/66 – 03/29/09
I know you are fishing in the oceans and streams of heaven