Author Topic: One who was like my sister  (Read 5778 times)

helene

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One who was like my sister
« on: October 31, 2013, 06:49:12 AM »
Hi Everyone,

In the midst of feeling already shattered with all this impending separation and divorce stuff, I received news that my cousin-in-law, Connie from Newfoundland, Canada, died suddenly of a brain aneurysm on Tuesday of this week. She was my husband's cousin, but welcomed me into her family with open arms. We had many visits and many phone conversation over the past ten or so years. Connie was like a sister to me so that's why I think it's ok to post this here in the sibling section (where I usually post anyway). She was in her 70s but always seemed much younger because she was so full of life and fun. She was an earthy person who had a heart of gold. I last talked with her on Friday of last week, only days before she died. She sounded fine. Connie was very unhappy about what her cousin Barry (my husband) has done and the last words she said to me were : "He is not welcome here any more. Not until he shows some kind of remorse. But you, my dear, are FAMILY, and are welcome any time. You know that don't you." I told her I did. I'll never forget her welcoming me and loving me the way she did. I will not tell my husband what Connie said about him. There is no point now.

I found out about Connie's death right in the middle of my work day and was working on the main floor at reception. I was crying and crying and so I had to go down to the basement where the archives is (the other place I work here) so I could get away from everyone. I've been feeling very fragile - shaky - ever since. Am staying at my neighbor's place, Penny, because being around my husband is killing me. I remember the days when I would panic with loneliness whenever he went to Newfoundland to visit his relatives. Now I panic with loneliness when I'm around him and dream of the day when I can set up my own humble home on my own somewhere. But I have a rough road to travel until I get to that point.

Thank you all for *listening* to my woes. I am SO UPSET about losing Connie!! The suddenness of her passing reminds me terribly of how my sister Lesley died suddenly of  seizure in a bathroom. One day here. One day gone. I'm no I'm not the only one here to have suffered this kind of sudden loss of loved ones.

Helene.


Helene & Lesley

AC Mom

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Re: One who was like my sister
« Reply #1 on: October 31, 2013, 07:37:45 AM »
Helene,

I am so so sorry you have had another death, you certainly have been given more than your share of grief.   Connie sounds like a wonderful person and you were blessed to have her in your life.

Love
Peggy

Gail08

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Re: One who was like my sister
« Reply #2 on: October 31, 2013, 01:48:02 PM »
Helene,
I am so very sorry for your loss.  My prayers are with you.
G                                  Sisters 2 the end
  A                                Friends 2 the end
     I                   _________________________
 J O L E N E              In my heart 4 ever

helene

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Re: One who was like my sister
« Reply #3 on: November 01, 2013, 07:10:01 AM »
Thank you Peggy and Gail,

Connie's death keeps hitting me in waves and it brings back all the grief of Lesley (which hadn't gone away anyway) so it's doubly hard. I realize that as I get older (I'm 50) now, those older than I will die and are dying. I've lost a lot of people in my life in the last 5 years. Two very dear relatives on my Dad's side in Florida. My brother-in-law Chuck. My Uncle Basil on my mother's side. My dear sister Lesley. Two priests where I work whom I really liked and cared about. A dear long-time friends of my family. And now Connie. This is all really, really hard on top of my impending separation and divorce from my husband.

Anyway, I appreciate your caring thoughts and condolences. I'll try to visit here more often. I've been so upset I haven't even been able to do any poetry or artwork or music (I'm a violinist).

Helene.


Helene & Lesley

ScottW

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Re: One who was like my sister
« Reply #4 on: November 01, 2013, 11:20:48 AM »
Hi Helene.  I, too, am very sorry for your loss.

Doug1222

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Re: One who was like my sister
« Reply #5 on: November 04, 2013, 09:00:17 PM »
I'm so sorry for you, Helene. I am happy you have your AA friends to support you.

Lean on them until you're strong enough to stand on your own.

(((((((((Helene))))))))))

Terry

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Re: One who was like my sister
« Reply #6 on: November 06, 2013, 04:54:13 PM »

(((((((((Helene))))))))) :love9:

browneyedgirl

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Re: One who was like my sister
« Reply #7 on: November 06, 2013, 08:17:13 PM »
Helene - I am so very sorry to read of the loss of Connie. 

Hang in there.  You're very strong.  I think you know that... :engel2:
Tony Repola 07/20/66 – 03/29/09
I know you are fishing in the oceans and streams of heaven

helene

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Re: One who was like my sister
« Reply #8 on: November 07, 2013, 07:51:31 AM »
Thank you everyone. I am still in shock about Connie. I loved her so much and she was so full of life. She laughed a lot and had a deep throaty voice. She loved to cook and was good at it. She lived in a lovely old wooden house that had an upstairs balcony over looking St. John's Harbor, Newfoundland, Canada. When I visited her I loved to sit on that balcony in the evenings and watch the fog roll in over the freighters docked below. Connie was always supportive of me with my writing and painting and music, more than anyone else in my life. Her death has left a gigantic hole in my life and I feel myself falling into it. I know that Connie wouldn't want that for me, but I'm really battling depression right now what with living in the same house with this stranger holed up in another part of it who used to be my husband. Connie was very upset about all that and extremely unhappy with her cousin Barry, my husband. That was never resolved between them and Barry will have to live with that as we all have to live with a lot of things. Barry's karmic load is getting heavier all the time I'm afraid. However, I am not one to judge. I'm no saint. Just a very very sad and unhappy person right now. Thanks for being here for me. One day when I'm stronger I'll be around here more. I feel that I've been neglecting you all and I'm sorry about that.

Helene.


Helene & Lesley

Doug1222

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Re: One who was like my sister
« Reply #9 on: November 07, 2013, 11:41:46 AM »
((((((((((Helene)))))))))))

helene

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Re: One who was like my sister
« Reply #10 on: November 09, 2013, 08:53:50 AM »
Thanks Doug and everyone,

I guess I don't really have much to say today. Where I am it's a cold, grey day. Things are very difficult for me at home with my husband and I living in different parts of the house. It feels like there's been a death in our house. After work it's like going home to a mausoleum. However, to counter that I have a friend I'm going for a drive in the country with today. As the Beatle's song goes..."with a little help from my friends". Well, for me it's a LOT of help from my friends as I tend to isolate myself in times of grief and depression but I'm making a concerted effort not to do that any more. I saw some photos on Facebook of Connie (who died suddenly last week) at work and I cried as soon as I saw them. I'm really upset about losing this wonderful, loving woman in my life! Life is so hard so much of the time, and, as I get older, I see more people die who are older than I. It's very sad and very difficult. Thanks for being here for me folks.

Helene.


Helene & Lesley