Hi, Helene! I've missed you. I am sorry about your separation and divorce, but I am confident it will work out for the best. I've never been through one, but a lot of people tell me it's the best thing that ever happened to them. They were horribly upset and grief stricken when it happened, but after healing found out just how horrible their life was before the divorce.
After following all you've been through with your husband the last year, I think you will feel the same way.
Good move on the lawyer. Don't make it easy for him. You deserve your part of this marriage. I'm glad you have friends to stay with, too. Having an escape plan is VERY important. Fight for what's yours. In reality, though, money doesn't really matter. It's your life that matters. My wife got NOTHING from her first marriage. He put her in ICU and she ended up losing everything she had except some keepsakes. She started over from scratch after twelve years. Today, we are happy, healthy, and successful. Do fight for what's yours, but no matter what you'll be fine.
I'm sorry you're going through this, but I'm glad you're going to get through it. You still have a lot of living to do. It might as well be as happy as it can be. I'm super happy you're keeping sober through it. You can sort out the smoking later. I also have trouble eating when I'm upset. You might try some whey protein. You can make shakes with it that are pretty good and crammed with protein. That might help with losing too much weight. You will get through this and your life will be better. Let your husband take his Chinese internet girl. He'll come crawling back at some point, but you don't need him anymore. Get on with living.
I missed you.
(((((((Helene))))))))