Author Topic: Doug, thinking of you....  (Read 2116 times)

Terry

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Doug, thinking of you....
« on: October 03, 2013, 07:35:02 PM »

Hi Doug - when I was posting dates and posted your little brother Steven's Birthday, I thought of you and your sister Lori and how stressful and also filled with memories these last weeks have been for you both. You had mentioned that Lori had never found peace (acceptance) regarding Steven's death. It's difficult especially when one is still searching.
You have been blessed with a wonderful family and also to be so grounded. When we're not so blessed or lucky is when the peace seems to escape us.
'Wherever we go, there we are"...and we can't escape the memories or the pain. But it does help when we have those around us who love us deeply and even more than that....who need us.

((((((( Doug & Lori ))))))

You are both in my thoughts. :love9:

Love & Hugs,
Terry

Doug1222

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Re: Doug, thinking of you....
« Reply #1 on: October 04, 2013, 12:22:05 PM »
Thank you, Terry. Stevie's birthday has always been the hardest date for me. Even my dad's which is the day after mine has never been quite as hard. It's always a rough time.

I wish I could help Lori more. She's not open to it, and cut off communication like I said, so I guess I can't. It's sad.

I do have a wonderful family around me. This is always a hard time for me, though. Thanks.

My step-dad's been in the hospital all week. He had major surgery on his left leg in 2009 and almost lost it. It died, and the best vascular surgeon in the state operated for twelve hours to re-build a vein to get blood to his foot. It worked, but it was touchy. He told us at that time that if something goes wrong there's nothing else he can do. Since then, it's always been a matter of waiting until he'd lose it. He was out of veins.

It quit again in April, and there WAS something he could do. There was a new procedure invented since the 2009 surgery. On his leg, he had to do it backwards which had never been done before. It worked great but then quit working again this month. For a few months, he had almost no pain at all then it became overwhelming. He tried again yesterday and it didn't work. It's running a wire through a vein the size of a human hair. He hit a spot that was too blocked and couldn't get through. Then the surgeon opened up the leg to look at the vein. He said it was in too bad a shape to do a graft again. It's also highly likely an amputation would kill him.

So...he's probably going home today. This time there really is nothing left to do. He can't even take the leg! He's getting a major pain patch usually used for cancer patients and hoping pain management will buy time to invent something else.

He's a really good surgeon, but sometimes there really is nothing left to do.

We've been doing that all week. I really appreciate your message. This is my hardest time of the year. It was this time that kicked off my depression/crisis that led me here.

Hopefully this year will be better. I hope my sister can find some peace, too.

((((((((Terry))))))))))

Terry

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Re: Doug, thinking of you....
« Reply #2 on: October 05, 2013, 11:38:08 AM »

 I am so sorry, Doug for your step-Dad and your Mom must be beside herself with worry. I know you too have been close and just know that I'm holding you close in thoughts and prayers that your Step-Dad can find some relief.
My husband went through the same thing (#4) and 5 years before he died he also had the surgery but a few years after that I couldn't find any vascular surgeon to operate on my husband. The best there was on the eastern coast moved back to South America and I sent her my husband's file and she said she would return if he was a candidate but he was not. His legs were in too bad shape.
 He was on Warfarin and I believe that was the only thing keeping him alive. It broke my heart to see him in so much pain. But, toward the end he was also on the morphine 24hr drip, which gave him a lot of relief from the pain.

Thanks for sharing this with us and know we're here for you.

Hugs & love to your Mom, too. :love9:

((((((( Doug & Mom )))))))

Love,
Terry