Author Topic: Random thoughts I have almost daily - Do you?  (Read 2086 times)

Tinabeth

  • nospam
  • Newbie
  • *
  • Posts: 17
  • Love never fails. 1 Corinthians 13:8
    • View Profile
Random thoughts I have almost daily - Do you?
« on: October 01, 2013, 12:57:10 PM »
Why can't  I just do?
Why do I question?
Why do I dwell?
Why can't I just be?
Gnawing, aching, lonely, craving, wandering, analyzing, searching.
Sad & lost feeling much of the time.
Happy, but dampered, many times.
Always a piece missing.
When, if ever,  does this pass?
Stuck, suspended - move forward then move back.
Is this just part of the journey, or am I stuck?
Ughhh!!!
Jay "Jaybo" Buford 1.28.1963 - 2.17.2011
My love - my best friend - my life - for 29 years.

Terry

  • Administrator
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 5951
    • “Grief is like the ocean; it comes on waves ebbing and flowing. Sometimes the water is calm, and sometimes it is overwhelming. All we can do is learn to swim.” –Vicki Harrison
    • View Profile
Re: Random thoughts I have almost daily - Do you?
« Reply #1 on: October 01, 2013, 02:59:02 PM »

Hi Tina! It's been awhile since you posted and I've thought of you often. I'm so glad you stopped by. Most of the members who were here the same time you were are still here except for Lew and Mandy. I haven't heard from them for awhile.

I think it's normal to question....everything. It's healthy, too. Spending 29 years of your life with your "Jay" is a very long time and your love is still very new and very real, as is your grief. There is no time frame for grieving. Keep taking those baby steps and reaching out.

I remember when I first came to webhealing and I was reading what the other Moms and Dads were posting and it really made sense to me: It was like they lost a limb. And, after awhile we learn to walk but always with a limp. The pain is always there. It just becomes different with time.

Maybe the other members can offer you comforting advice. They are a great group on here. And, some of their losses are still in the first few years, also.

(((((((((Tina)))))))))

Always here for you, with love,
Terry
:love9:

Tinabeth

  • nospam
  • Newbie
  • *
  • Posts: 17
  • Love never fails. 1 Corinthians 13:8
    • View Profile
Re: Random thoughts I have almost daily - Do you?
« Reply #2 on: October 01, 2013, 04:42:19 PM »
Thanks Terry.

I wish I understood better what causes me to kind of go into a tailspin. I think what's  got me going is my upcoming birthday. It has bothered me at this time the past 2 years,  but this year it seems to have come on earlier. Maybe because it's my 50th. I don't really care that I'm turning 50, but it really ticks me off that he didn't get to...that we're not at this point together.

I thank God for my 2 girls and 4 grandsons. But dammit, I so wish Jay were here too.

I also want to say that I truly think I've done myself a disservice by not visiting here and sharing my thoughts more often. This website is a blessing. Even though I had not visited here in several months, I knew this was one place I'm safe venting my feelings.
Thank you so much for that.

I know that "this too shall pass", but thanks for listening.
Tina
Jay "Jaybo" Buford 1.28.1963 - 2.17.2011
My love - my best friend - my life - for 29 years.

Terry

  • Administrator
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 5951
    • “Grief is like the ocean; it comes on waves ebbing and flowing. Sometimes the water is calm, and sometimes it is overwhelming. All we can do is learn to swim.” –Vicki Harrison
    • View Profile
Re: Random thoughts I have almost daily - Do you?
« Reply #3 on: October 02, 2013, 10:51:58 AM »

Any date, Tina can throw us into a tailspin. These dates take us to another place. Know I understand. :love9:

Webhealing has always been a blessing/lifeline for me, also. It helps to know others are listening and more importantly...that they understand. Post any time!

((((((((Tina)))))))))

browneyedgirl

  • nospam
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 2320
    • View Profile
Re: Random thoughts I have almost daily - Do you?
« Reply #4 on: October 02, 2013, 07:31:52 PM »
((((((Tinabeth)))))

I wish I had some advice, but I don't....all I can say is that you were together for 29 years....he's been gone for 2, that's not very much time, considering, does that make sense?  I guess Terry put it a bit better than I did  :angel11:.

Thinking of you...good to see you post.
Tony Repola 07/20/66 – 03/29/09
I know you are fishing in the oceans and streams of heaven