Author Topic: Lesley's Birthday ((Helene))  (Read 3812 times)

Terry

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Lesley's Birthday ((Helene))
« on: September 24, 2013, 09:47:44 PM »

(((((((Helene))))))

Thinking of you today on Lesley's birthday and wishing you a day filled with very special memories of your precious sister! :love9:

Hugs & Love,
Terry

helene

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Re: Lesley's Birthday ((Helene))
« Reply #1 on: September 25, 2013, 06:30:42 AM »
Thank you Terry for remembering me and remembering Lesley. Yes, she would have been age 59 today. I do have many precious memories of her but all of this still hurts me very very much. It's difficult for me not to cry as I write this. I feel extremely exhausted and depressed by what's going on in my marriage anyway. (He's admitted to infidelity through the internet and with someone in person when he recently went to China.) Lesley had a sweetness about her that I fondly remember that counteracts all this sordidness re my husband in my life right now. She had a kind of innocence about her even though she was extremely smart. Her angelic soul always shone through and I don't see that in some other people I know.

Thanks again for thinking of me. I'll try to keep in touch more often here. Times are difficult for me these days.

Helene.


Helene & Lesley

Doug1222

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Re: Lesley's Birthday ((Helene))
« Reply #2 on: September 25, 2013, 06:45:55 AM »
Hi, Helene. I'm thinking of you and Leslie today, too. I hope you feel her with you today.

(((((Helene)))))

helene

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Re: Lesley's Birthday ((Helene))
« Reply #3 on: September 25, 2013, 01:02:48 PM »
Thank you Doug,

I have to say that I am fighting major depression due to my husband finally admitting to his infidelity and that he's been unfaithful to me for nearly a year now. A HUGE part of my life - 26 years of marriage and 27 together - has just died. I am not even grieving yet. I'm in shock with wave after nauseous wave passing over me.

As the Beatle song goes..."with a little help from my friends" - I will survive this but it's bloody hard and I'm profoundly tired. I do have a lot of support where I live with AA and other people and I know you all care here at Webhealing as well.

Helene.


Helene & Lesley

Doug1222

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Re: Lesley's Birthday ((Helene))
« Reply #4 on: September 25, 2013, 02:30:06 PM »
As the Beatle song goes..."with a little help from my friends" - I will survive this but it's bloody hard and I'm profoundly tired. I do have a lot of support where I live with AA and other people and I know you all care here at Webhealing as well.

We're here.

((((((((Helene))))))))

AC Mom

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Re: Lesley's Birthday ((Helene))
« Reply #5 on: September 25, 2013, 03:15:08 PM »
Helene, I am sorry I missed this yesterday.  I hope you had some signs from Lesley, just know she is always with you.

You and everyone here are in my prayers daily.

Love
Peggy



helene

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Re: Lesley's Birthday ((Helene))
« Reply #6 on: September 26, 2013, 07:33:47 AM »
Thank you Peggy. I have missed everyone here. You are one of my dear families of friends! Last night I walked down to the waterfront at dusk and lit a candle in Lesley's memory. I did this by myself and there was no wind so it was easy to light the candle. I sat on the grass looking at the water which was like glass and then down at the candle and I said a prayer for Lesley. Just as I did the candle flickered wildly for a few seconds, nearly going out, and then, a few seconds later it serenely went back to its previous glowing. Odd! I think Lesley was there!

Life is SO DIFFICULT right now! This morning my husband tried to make me feel guilty for deciding not to go with him to his brother's birthday celebration this weekend. I lashed out at my husband and told him to back off or I'd have some fun telling his family some things about him. That shut my husband up. I guess I'm not in the best of humor these days. Being married to a man who had betrayed me kind of makes me like that I guess. I am doing everything possible to stay away from him these days. Unfortunately I don't have the right to kick him out of the matrimonial house. I sure wish I could.

Helene.


Helene & Lesley

AC Mom

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Re: Lesley's Birthday ((Helene))
« Reply #7 on: September 26, 2013, 08:05:00 AM »
Yes it definately sounds like Lesley was on the beach with you!  So glad she was there. 

My last marriage ended because of his infidelity, so I know where you are coming from.   I had to snicker at your comment to him about telling his family.  Nothing like a little black mail to get what you want.  I did the same thing with my last ex.  He wanted to sell everything and split the money.  I told him I had proof he was cheating, and I was taking everything, cause Ohio did not have no fault divorce.   He soon realized it was probably best to do it my way, or pay alimony the rest of his life.

Take care of yourself, sounds like you are doing a good job!


Love
Peggy

helene

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Re: Lesley's Birthday ((Helene))
« Reply #8 on: September 26, 2013, 11:23:41 AM »
Hey Peggy,

Thanks for that! I always really appreciate what you say. I'm starting to look into the legal and financial aspects of all of this. We have no children but the financial/property side of things is not simple. If we have to split everything I'll still have my job (God willing) and it's a good solid job. My husband, who hasn't bothered to work for some years now (unless you consider collecting rent from a few tenants once a month a 'job') - will have to drive taxi.

There was a time I was very clingy to him due to abandonment issues from my own childhood. Now I want nothing more to do with him and can't wait to strike out on my own! It's taken me a LONG time to become an truly independent woman and I'm still struggling with that. One good thing that has come out of my husband's betrayal is that I have FINALLY  emotionally broken free of him! He's been nothing but an albatross around my neck for years now.

So I guess there's no grief going on here regarding my marriage. Just a desire to have it done with and that's not going to happen over night. Underlying all this is a deep sadness about the loss of my sister Lesley and it being her birthday time of year. I don't think that sadness will ever go away.

Thank you for being here and listening to me.

Helene.


Helene & Lesley

Gail08

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Re: Lesley's Birthday ((Helene))
« Reply #9 on: September 26, 2013, 03:11:31 PM »
(((((HELENE)))))
Didn't have time to come here on Lesley's birthday to let you know, but the both of you were in my thoughts.  I know just how hard the birthdays are.  You going to the waterfront and lighting a candle sounds so nice.  I too try to take some quiet time each year on Jolene's birthday and try to feel her there with me.  I hope that you found some comfort in feeling Lesley there with you.  I hope that you can one day feel that she is ALWAYS with you, as I know she is.  I am still working on that issue myself.  Sometimes I can feel Jolene right there with me and sometimes I just can't feel her at all. 

Love, Gail
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