Author Topic: It's me again...  (Read 10781 times)

Doug1222

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It's me again...
« on: September 19, 2013, 07:35:39 AM »
Good morning, y'all! I hope everything's groovy in your part of the world. Life's great around here. We SHOULD have four Mighty Mite football games tonight ranging from 1-2 grade up to a 5-6 grade one. The littlest one has two games. Booked back to back...if I can find the field. I'm not exactly sure where they're playing this year. Those stair-step grandkids sure are fun, though. We have one in every level!

Life's not perfect, but I can't complain. Other people have much bigger problems than me. I'm still sorting through the bizarre end to my friendship, but it's not huge. I'm just determined to work through it rather than bury it. I really feel bad even talking about it when there are people with much more serious grief, but I'm trying to make sure this doesn't bring back my bigger problems. I'm sorting it out this time. Everybody says to talk about it, so I am. I know some of this won't make sense because I deleted part of the story from my last thread, but I know Terry read it. It's kind of just venting, anyway.

What happens is I keep running across things that feel strange. It's been two months, and I still do. My wife does, too. I suppose when somebody was that big a part of your life for a year that's normal. For example, last night I was looking at the wedding footage I took of our son's wedding. I'm getting ready to edit it down to a video they can keep and give out to friends/family if they want. I ran the camera pretty much the whole time. It needs to be edited. It struck me that I had great footage of my friend doing the song we made a slideshow to. (That was the last thing we did together. Then it all blew up an hour after we finished it when I found out she was lying about me.) I filmed the whole show in Nashville in June. Most of it she didn't want to use because of the sound system, but the video part was great. Anyway, I could have put performance footage into the video and made it AWESOME!! I didn't even think of that when we were making it, but it would really be cool. No point in it now. She isn't even using the video, apparently. I think she's probably embarrased or ashamed to after what happened when she posted it last time. She doesn't have any for that song or any of the other new ones on Youtube. There's another waste. I was the one who made all of them for her. She asked me to help her make these then lied about me when I did. It was absolutely bizarre.

I also was searching for vacations for the spring yesterday. I do that year round. It's a hobby. I had been searching for four adults because she kept telling us she and her husband wanted to travel with us next year. We just talked about it a few hours before the friendship ended. We (me and her husband) were about to start bidding on next year's vacation time, and it needed to be coordinated to line up together. We all talked about it a lot. We were going to Mexico. I'd been searching for four for nearly a year just to track the prices. Yesterday I nearly dropped down the menu to run four. Nope. Back to two. I just hit things that still feel strange. It's ok.

I suppose what brings it up is a chat I had with a writer friend last night. She asked about my brother. This is my melancholy time of year when the triggers for my grief happen. She asked specific questions about my brother...how old he was, what happened, when it happened, good memories I had. It struck me that she now knows more about my brother than Becky. Becky never asked. She probably never cared because it wasn't about her. Just kind of made me process a bit more being Becky was holding that space in my heart and life for a while. She's what kept me from slipping back into the grief this time last year. This year she's gone. It's odd.

I guess you can't fix crazy. She has a whole lot of issues. Turns out most of the friendship was a lie, anyway. I couldn't keep laying track down in front of that train. It was getting too fast. It'll wreck. We're just kind of paying attention kind of out of curiosity and also because we're invested in the project. My wife still watches her fan page. It's cool. I'm sorting it all out. Some of it will never make sense because I'm not crazy, but at least I'm putting the pieces in place to close it out. In the end, I did have some really fun times being what I thought was friends with her and also learned a whole lot of stuff. I also made a ton of friends and contacts in the music world. She filled an important spot in my heart and helped me heal even if it wasn't intentional. She was also entertainment for my wife and me for a year. She left an empty spot in our lives but also healed a more serious wound in my heart. It's ok. It was mostly positive in the scheme of life...but that's because I knew when to let the guillotine fall. Otherwise, it's a train wreck!! Ain't nobody got time for that!!!

My problems are minor compared to most of the world, so I'm not whining. Just venting a minute. I don't even really have problems compared to most people. I could complain, but it wouldn't be right. Life's good. La la la la la la la...feelin' groovy.

I hope everybody's doing ok.
 :icon_mrgreen:
« Last Edit: September 20, 2013, 08:33:29 AM by Doug1222 »

Doug1222

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Re: It's me again...
« Reply #1 on: September 20, 2013, 08:36:05 AM »
Hi, everybody! I hope your Friday's going great. We did make it to the football games, and they were great. It was the very first game for the youngest one, so it was exciting. Those little bitty kids are hilarious. He played two and won both. All three of them had good games.

It was a beautiful night.
 :love4:

So glad you guys enjoyed the games!!! Those precious little ones are only little once! :love4:

Thanks for sharing your night with us!

Hugs :love9:
« Last Edit: September 23, 2013, 07:52:10 PM by Terry »

Terry

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Re: It's me again...
« Reply #2 on: September 23, 2013, 07:49:37 PM »

Life's not perfect, but I can't complain. Other people have much bigger problems than me. I'm still sorting through the bizarre end to my friendship, but it's not huge. I'm just determined to work through it rather than bury it. I really feel bad even talking about it when there are people with much more serious grief, but I'm trying to make sure this doesn't bring back my bigger problems. I'm sorting it out this time. Everybody says to talk about it, so I am. I know some of this won't make sense because I deleted part of the story from my last thread, but I know Terry read it. It's kind of just venting, anyway.


Hey Doug - Please don't ever feel that your feelings aren't important enough to share due to another's level of pain from loss. This thread is "Grief not related to Deaths" and it's an appropriate area of the board to share about your broken friendship, due to betrayal.
The end of a friendship/relationship is a loss. Any way you look at it. And, a lot of the time (sometimes we're really lucky and we can figure it out) we can backtrack and try to figure out where it all went wrong, and then at times we can't. We can write them off, at times. Other times, we can't. New found friends (or even old friends) but that don't weigh much on our scale of priority can be dealt with, with as much as a little understanding in passing but when it's family it's more difficult. Either way, betrayal is betrayal. And, it's not a good feeling.

You're right that we can't fix crazy. We can't fix anyone, for that matter. We can only change ourselves and how we perceive someone/something and either adapt or not. Isn't that (one of) the definitions of insanity....doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result? And, then there's....Getting onto the same bus to nowhere and expecting room service when we get there?  :dontknow:

This is a difficult time of the year as we have Thanksgiving in just 8 short weeks and then the other big events follow, and not gracefully either. Some years we're ambushed. So, keep talking. I'm listening. These boards are here for you to vent, too. It really helps to write things out. I've found that to be true, anyway. I hope it's helping you, too!

Always here for you! :icon_flower:

((((((Doug)))))))

Love,
Terry

Terry

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Re: It's me again...
« Reply #3 on: September 23, 2013, 07:55:35 PM »
Hi, everybody! I hope your Friday's going great. We did make it to the football games, and they were great. It was the very first game for the youngest one, so it was exciting. Those little bitty kids are hilarious. He played two and won both. All three of them had good games.

It was a beautiful night.
 :love4:

So glad you guys enjoyed the games!!! Those precious little ones are only little once! :love4:

Thanks for sharing your night with us!

Hugs :love9:


OOOPS!! Did you see what I did? (above) On your post, I clicked on MODIFY instead of QUOTE and posted on YOUR post. Sorry, Doug. That was a first for me!! :laughing6:

Doug1222

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Re: It's me again...
« Reply #4 on: September 24, 2013, 08:35:52 AM »
Hey Doug - Please don't ever feel that your feelings aren't important enough to share due to another's level of pain from loss. This thread is "Grief not related to Deaths" and it's an appropriate area of the board to share about your broken friendship, due to betrayal.

Thank you, Terry! Guess what happened now? I've mentioned before that the relationship with my sister is very odd. It's been strained for a long time, and I've never known why. She got in a big fight with my mom several years ago when she was staying here. She hasn't spoken to my mom since then (2009 or so), but still had minimal contact with me mostly through Facebook...extremely minimal the last couple years. I've communicated with her through any method once or twice this year. The last time was last month when our son got married. I just sent her a message to make sure she knew about the wedding. She's always been kind of close to our boy because he looks just like my brother.

Well, on Sunday I got a message from her that said,"You recently 'liked" a picture..." blah, blah, blah. She was offended by something I apparently clicked like on and finds me disgusting because it was negative toward Islam. I was supposed to take into consideration her close ties to the Muslim world. Her husband and a lot of her friends are Muslim. I've always gotten along fine with them. That doesn't matter. I clicked "like" on a picture she didn't like. Not something I sent to her. Not something I posted. Not something I did or said. Something I supposedly clicked "like" on. I don't know if I did or not. Sometimes things accidentally click on Facebook from my tablet. I had no idea what she was talking about. She blocked me. It appears I no longer even have the relationship I barely had with her. I don't even remember the picture she's talking about. She apparently was monitoring me for something to get angry about so she could cut off communication. She almost never interacted with me on there or anywhere else. I had no idea she even saw what I did. She never makes any comments or anything. She often completely ignores comments and things my wife says who's always been extremely kind to her. I showed my wife, and she thought it was very strange as well. No discussion. No nothing. Just an odd sounding, businesslike message and blocked. Then she posted something my wife saw that can only be described as a rant. It was about how "hate speech" should never be tolerated from anyone. Her supporters were telling her to "wash that type of person out of your hair".

I don't get it. She's always had a lot of issues, but I never did a thing to her. Neither has my wife. We have been very good to her and tried hard to maintain communication after she quit speaking to my mom. She's travelled within a half hour of our house a couple times this year and didn't even tell us. That's how hard she tries. I had to contact her on the baby and on the wedding just to make sure she knew...and she did both times. She just didn't see a need to say congratulations. Now she finds a "like" on a picture and decides she's finished. Nothing done to her. A "like" on a picture. That's fine. I haven't really had a sister for many years. To be honest, my brother's death is something that she never recovered from. I would like to talk with her about it, but I never have except when she was hysterical at our house after the fight with my mom. She's emotionally incapable. There are times I needed to talk with my sister, but my sister doesn't really exist anymore. When she was collapsed in my yard crying, she told us about suicide attempts and being hospitalized for breakdowns. That's the only time I've ever heard about any of that. She never talks to me. When I asked her to talk about the problems I was having, she was unable. Looks like she was just looking for a reason to say goodbye to me and feel righteous about it. She's toxic, anyway. One of the only problems I've ever had with my wife was over my sister years ago. My wife said something that freaked her out, and I asked her to apologize. I wish I hadn't done that. It's my sister who has the problem.

So...looks like I don't have any type of sibling anymore. Not one by blood. Not one by friendship.

This has been a fun couple months. Why must I be surrounded by people with mental issues? My family is normal!!

At least I have a wonderful wife and kids. I'm really done putting up with people I treat good treating me poorly. If my sister is happier without a sibling, good for her. I've put up with her strange personality for decades.

Looks like I don't have a sister anymore.

Oh well, how 'bout those Cardinals?
 :icon_mrgreen:
« Last Edit: September 24, 2013, 08:44:16 AM by Doug1222 »

AC Mom

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Re: It's me again...
« Reply #5 on: September 24, 2013, 10:15:36 AM »
I don't always post, but I do read everything posted.  I agree with Terry, this is the place to talk about the grief with losing friendships, siblings, divorce and etc.  Death is not the only thing that makes us want "what might have been".

I could relate somewhat to your comments about your sister.  I am not estranged from my sister, but we don't talk much.  I am a blunt and to the point type person, kinda like, if you don't want a truthful answer, don't ask me the question.  My sister can't handle that, and I can't stop doing it. :)   I also seem to have a habit of saying something that she takes wrong.

Life is full of things that make us shake out head.  At my age, I just shake my head and go on with life. 

Love
Peggy

Doug1222

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Re: It's me again...
« Reply #6 on: September 24, 2013, 11:15:19 AM »
Life is full of things that make us shake out head.  At my age, I just shake my head and go on with life.  

Thank you, Peggy. I am really at a loss for words. The thing with my friend and my sister's behavior for years are really dumbfounding to me. I don't understand why people want to live the way they do...either one of them.

The strange relationship with my sister is actually a large part of the reason I got so attached to my friend. I was hoping she'd be the sister I never had.

Turns out neither one of them is stable.

At least I have my wife. The thing with my sister and my wife was a Facebook thing, too. Some people say Facebook is the problem, but it wasn't. It's strange people and Facebook that's a problem. That was around 2003. What happened then was my grandma died. My sister was overseas at the time in Bangladesh, I think. She teaches overseas. My wife put a post to let OUR family know about my grandma (meaning the kids and her side). My sister saw it and FREAKED OUT that my wife would post that before she knew. She sent very mean messages to me and my wife and also called my mom hysterical about it.

My mom got mad about that, too...because it "upset Lori". My wife had no ill intention. It's how we keep in touch with the kids and she just wanted our friends and family to know. She asked them to pray for my family. It was just a tiny message to make sure the kids knew.

My sister and my mom acted like my wife meant to upset my sister. They both acted like,"How could you do that while Lori is overseas?" Like it's my wife's problem to make sure everyone in the world is notified before she lets our own kids know their great-grandma died? I asked her to apologize just to keep peace. She cried when she was telling my mom she didn't mean to hurt anybody. I knew then that I would never let my sister do that again.

I really wish I hadn't asked her to do that. I knew she didn't mean to hurt anybody. That's all that matters. She should have nobody in the world who needs to understand but me. When she started crying, I felt HORRIBLE because I knew it wasn't her that was wrong.

My wife has a beautiful heart, and I never should have had her do that.

I am very tired of my sister and if she wants to divorce from my family, more power to her. I'm done with her. She's added nothing for a very long time. She's the only drama we've got. I have a good life, and I'm not going to allow her occassional interference bother it again. She obviously doesn't care at all that I'm her only surviving sibling and that I've never done one thing to hurt her. It doesn't matter to her the tremendous emotional trouble I'VE had dealing with losing my brother and my dad. It only matters to her whatever her problems are. I don't know them because she refuses to speak to me. She's a freak. I'm done with her. I have my own family. She doesn't care about them, either.

Hey, the Cards clinched the playoffs this weekend.
 :icon_flower:
« Last Edit: September 24, 2013, 11:55:47 AM by Doug1222 »

AC Mom

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Re: It's me again...
« Reply #7 on: September 24, 2013, 12:56:43 PM »
Sounds like our sisters were made with the same mold.  If its not about them, then it doesn't matter.   Me and my sister both have a genetic condition called Essential Tremor, to put it simply, our hands shake for no apparent reason.  My sister has no problem telling me hers is worse than mine.  When truth is, I just learned to live with mine and do some things different, but to her its a disability, that she can get sympathy for.

Maybe I look at it different, but I see posting on Facebook as a way to tell a whole lot of people about something, in a matter of seconds.  Several months ago, my sister in laws, sister in law posted she was at ER with her sister in law.   I knew it was my brother she was talking about and just made some phone calls.  My sister in laws, sister in law, was very upset that she didn't give consideration to the fact that me and my sister were in her friends list.  I saw nothing wrong with it, my sister thought it was insensitive.  I guess we all see Facebook differently. 

In the 11 years sinse AC died, I have had one rule in my life.  That being, I don't allow toxic people into my life.  If they have to be there, in the case of my sister, I just don't have much contact with them.

Love
Peggy

Doug1222

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Re: It's me again...
« Reply #8 on: September 24, 2013, 02:12:49 PM »
Maybe I look at it different, but I see posting on Facebook as a way to tell a whole lot of people about something, in a matter of seconds.

That's how we use it. It's sometimes the only way to contact our kids quickly.

Quote
In the 11 years sinse AC died, I have had one rule in my life.  That being, I don't allow toxic people into my life.  If they have to be there, in the case of my sister, I just don't have much contact with them.

I'm living by the same rule. Life is too short.

I think one more got removed this weekend. Blood or not.
« Last Edit: September 24, 2013, 02:19:14 PM by Doug1222 »

Terry

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Re: It's me again...
« Reply #9 on: September 24, 2013, 08:26:56 PM »

Thank you, Terry! Guess what happened now? I've mentioned before that the relationship with my sister is very odd. It's been strained for a long time, and I've never known why. She got in a big fight with my mom several years ago when she was staying here. She hasn't spoken to my mom since then (2009 or so)


Doug - Wasn't that tiff involving your Mom remarrying? I think I remember your sharing that some time back. And, also I believe it was regarding your Dad's pictures being removed from the house and to your sister, Lori it was like he was being moved out, memories and all. Is that accurate?

Fill in the blanks, if there are any.
:icon_flower:

Doug1222

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Re: It's me again...
« Reply #10 on: September 25, 2013, 09:42:03 AM »
That was part of the tension, I'm sure. To be totally honest, I'm not sure exactly what it was all about. It's never totally made sense. That stuff was part of it, but it was a lot more complicated. She's always had emotional problems going back to when she was a teenager. It compounded with my brother and my dad. When she got married, it got even worse because there was some tension between her and my mom over that. I stayed out of all of that and just told her I supported her in anything she did. I've never criticized one thing she did and tried to be very supportive. Here's what happened the last time we saw my sister (about 2009).

She came back from a year teaching overseas in UAE and stayed with my mom to visit which was typical. The visit kept dragging on and on to a couple months. My mom couldn't get an answer for why she was staying so long and thought she might be establishing residency to get a divorce based on questions my sister had for my mom's boss (a lawyer).

Things started getting tense because my sister was basically just laying around the house with no apparent plans to leave. She's kind of a slob. Whenever my mom would ask when she was leaving or why she kept staying, she'd get mad and lock herself in a bedroom. At the very end, my wife took my sister shopping mostly to get her out of the house. They hung out all day and had a good time. When they got back to my mom's house, she got into it with my step-father about something.

I got a call from my mom. She said,"Please come get your sister. She's in the yard screaming at Butch and she won't stop! I'm going to have to call the police!!"

When I got there, my sister was collapsed...sobbing in the driveway. My wife ran over and told me to hurry up and get her out of there because her and Butch kept yelling at each other. She was scared it was going to get violent or something. My sister was leaving and wanted to go see my brother's car and her cat's grave. Butch told her she just needed to leave now because she was upsetting her mother. It freaked her out that he was telling her to leave the property our dad bought. That made it even worse because then she was screaming back at him that he didn't even belong there. They were both kind of crazy.

We drove over to my house where my sister collapsed in the driveway and kept sobbing. I held her while she told me about previous suicide attempts and showed me cut marks on her wrists. She'd been hospitalized for breakdowns. She had overwhelming survivor's guilt. She told me,"It's a shame. She just lost another kid."

I drove her around nearly all night that night to find a place to stay. She still didn't want to leave Missouri. We found a motel with cheap weekly rates. I took her stuff to her and got her checked in. She doesn't drive. I went by every night after work to check on her and see if she needed anything. I never did get an explanation for why she wouldn't leave. When she was ready to go, I took her to the bus stop and waited until her bus got there. We hugged. She had me send her suitcase from our house a few months later.

Since then, communication has gotten less and less often. And more and more cold. She used to call once in a while and send cards for Christmas and birthdays and stuff. This year, she didn't even indicate she knew about our granddaughter being born or our son getting married. I had to ask if she knew. Both times she did. She just hadn't mentioned it. I couldn't even tell if she was seeing my Facebook stuff. I literally heard from her two times in 2013 and it was those two times when I contacted her. We've seen pictures of her visiting Branson, Missouri (an hour from our house) with my aunt. She's been down there a couple times in the last year and never even let us know she was here. We found out months later when she'd post pictures. I don't know if she's still married or not. She's never said and I've been afraid to ask. That's part of why she was fighting with my mom. She acts like it's none of our business. I just kept in touch to be in touch.

I sent her a message earlier in the year letting her know I had my brother's car. One of the things she was fighting about with them was looking at my brother's car. It bothered my mom so much after she left that she signed the car over to me. She didn't want it around anymore. I wanted to post some pictures of it for a friend to see and sent my sister a messsage first explaining. I didn't want her to be shocked. She never even acknowledged she got the message, so I posted the pictures. My mom has tried several times to reconnect with cold results. My step-dad has since tried to apologize. He was on a lot of medication at the time because of massive vascular surgery. He thinks the medication made him irrational. Cold results.

She has a lot of issues. I wish I could talk with her about it. We're the only two people in the world who share this experience of losing OUR brother and losing OUR dad...the only two. At some point, we'll be the only two left in our family.

...and she decided a "like" on a picture she didn't like was siginificant enough to block my only means of contact with her. I suppose she divorced herself completely from our family. This will be hurtful to my wife, my kids, the grandkids. She doesn't seem to care about them at all. None of us have ever done one thing to hurt her. We've always reached out to her. We keep asking her to let us know when she's in Missouri and we'd come see her. We send her cards, presents, invitations..we've worked hard to keep her included in our family. My wife and kids love her.

When this Facebook thing happened and she blocked me, my wife said,"It's like she was watching you for a reason to get mad and cut off contact." It looks like it took her four years, but she found one. She didn't find anything I said to her. Nothing I did to her. Nothing I did period. I clicked "like" on a picture she didn't like (maybe...sometimes things get clicked on my tablet accidentally). She's going overseas to Burma sometime soon for a year. It's a military dictatorship. The only way I had to keep in touch with her was Facebook, and she blocked me over a "like". I barely even remember the picture she was talking about. It was a joke about Muslims that she found offensive. She quoted it and said I was extremely insensitive to "like" it knowing her close ties to the Muslim community. I was flabbergasted. I've never said anything negative about Muslims to her because I DID know her close ties. Her husband (?) and a lot of her friends are Muslims from south Asia. She's spent a lot of time there and in the middle east. I haven't done anything to offend them or her, but it wasn't really a struggle. I don't care what religion or race anyone is. People are people to me. She should know that after forty years of knowing me. I had no recollection of even seeing it, but I couldn't tell her. She sent me a cold message and blocked me immediately. Then she posted about the moral high ground she was on...how supporting "hate speech" was intolerable no matter what the source. My wife is actually still friends with her on Facebook. She found the rant the next day about it so bizarre she showed me. If I didn't know she was talking about me, I'd have no idea. She was talking about "supposedly religious people who are always talking about praying and love" supporting hate. I am mildly religious and barely even mention it. Some might even call me irreverent and have. I almost never mention religion, but I do pray. It helped save our son. I sure am not a publicly religious person, though. That was her rant. I'm a LONG way from supposedly religious. I don't know who she was talking about, but that does fit my mom better than me. The person she was describing was nothing like me. Her friends told her to "wash that person our of your hair". It was all so cold. I don't know any other way to describe it. It was emotionless like she'd never even met me...like she'd quit feeling anything a long time ago and was just waiting for a reason to eliminate me. I guess she found her reason to eliminate me from her life, and I don't even know why. I never hurt her. My wife has never hurt her. My kids and grandkids have never hurt her. We actually have treated her well. We struggled to keep her family even after she disowned my mom. She just wanted me gone. It meant something to me that she was my only surviving sibling. Apparently it didn't mean much to her...a "like" on a picture's what it took.

She hasn't been much of a sister for a long time, anyway. If she's going to treat me like this, I'll just focus on the people who don't treat me poorly. I've got my own life to live.

There's some more blanks filled. I don't really get it. It's been a strange year.
« Last Edit: September 25, 2013, 12:11:06 PM by Doug1222 »

Doug1222

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Re: It's me again...
« Reply #11 on: September 25, 2013, 10:22:19 AM »
It actually is QUITE possible my sister was jealous of my relationship with Becky. I reached out to my sister when I was having my crisis and tried to talk with her. She was emotionally unable and told me to talk with my wife. Soon after that, I was very publicly friends with Becky. I was overtly placing Becky in that spot where a sibling should be largely because of the strained relationship with my only sister and having nobody else to fill it.

If my sister actually was paying attention, she probably noticed that. There was nothing stopping her from treating me so coldly, but that is a distinct possibility. She might have detached completely deciding I no longer needed her.

...which couldn't have been farther from the truth.

I don't need anyone in my life who's going to treat me badly, though. Blocking your only surviving sibling over a "like" on Facebook is treating badly, I'd say.

Both of these things have been so bizarre that I had to verify with my wife that I was understanding correctly. Becky betraying me after I was so good to her and helped her so much didn't make any sense, but my wife saw it coming. She just hoped she was wrong, but it wasn't a huge surprise. We knew she uses people and talks about them behind their back. It just surprised me because I didn't see signs that she was doing it to me. I chose to ignore some red flags thinking the best. Just an hour before I found out she was calling me a stalker to a complete stranger who had never met me, we were working on a project, having a great time like best friends. The lying about me was the only shock with that. I knew how she was. There were red flags that were waving more and more toward the end. It was sad but not a complete shock.

My sister doing this so rapidly and coldly is another thing. Over a "like" on Facebook? After at least a year of no responses at all to ANYTHING on Facebook like she couldn't even see me? After ignoring comments my wife and me would make to try to interact? I figured she had me on ignore or something, but she paid enough attention to send me a message beginning with,"You recently clicked 'like' on a picture..." No discussion. No anything.  A cold, businesslike message and I was blocked when I tried to repond. This is over a joke picture that I didn't even remembering clicking "like" on to her only surviving sibling...after ALL WE'VE BEEN THROUGH! I asked my wife and she said it's weird. My sister's always been strange, but this was bizarre.

I don't get it. I'm not sure what's wrong with people. I do have people to love who love me, so I'm not going to get too worked up about it. I refuse to let either one of these things get me down. My wife, kids, and grandkids love me. I still have a good life.

It's their loss. I was good to both of those women.
« Last Edit: September 25, 2013, 12:19:53 PM by Doug1222 »

Doug1222

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Re: It's me again...
« Reply #12 on: September 25, 2013, 10:43:28 AM »
This really does hurt, though. It's my baby sister. She's been in a tremendous amount of pain for many years. I've actually only glimpsed one time just how deep her pain has been and that was in my driveway right before she left last time. I wish I could help her. I wish she could help me.

I tried to reach out many times. I protected her feelings at the detriment of my wife's feelings more than once. I tried to be a good brother knowing I'm all she's got. We never wanted to "upset Lori".

...and she cared so much that she completely froze me out of her life over a "like" on a joke picture on Facebook? I don't get it at all. I simply don't have enough left in me to sort it out, though. If she wants me out of her life, I guess I'm out of her life.

You guys have to understand how my sister (and mom) are to get it. They freeze people out. Both of them are the same way. It's always frightened my wife. She said it again when this happened. "I don't know how your family can just turn off emotions like they do." They're both the same way. When they get mad at someone, they turn them off...like they never knew them. I never even did anything to her for this to happen. It's like she manufactured a reason. I had to verify it with my wife to make sure it wasn't my imagination. It's like she monitored me for years to find a reason to be mad at me.

This is my baby sister. In a few years, we'll be the only ones left, and she turned me off like this over a stupid "like" on Facebook that I don't even remember? Nothing I did to her. A "like" on somebody's picture that was a joke. It took effort to find something to offend her. I've been supportive of everything she's ever done never questioning her. I was proud of her. She watched for me to click "like" on something she didn't agree with and blocked me?

It just doesn't make sense. A lot of things people do don't make sense. Guess I'll just wish her luck in my head and move on. I am finished putting forth so much effort. If she doesn't want me in her life, I don't need her in mine. She hasn't really been a sister in years, anyway. Blood doesn't mean anything. I've been in pain, too. It's time I quit worrying about her pain so much and started worrying about mine. I only want people around me who care. I'm pouring everything into my wife. She loves me.

If my brother was here, I could talk to him. I might do that tonight, anyway. He's helped me before.

I don't get it.
 :tearyeyed:
« Last Edit: September 25, 2013, 12:23:01 PM by Doug1222 »

Terry

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Re: It's me again...
« Reply #13 on: September 25, 2013, 01:35:22 PM »

hmmm....a lot going on below the surface, for sure. :(

Doug1222

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Re: It's me again...
« Reply #14 on: September 25, 2013, 02:28:28 PM »
hmmm....a lot going on below the surface, for sure :(

Most of it I don't understand. Sorry...you asked.
 :icon_mrgreen:

It'll be ok. Just sad. I do have a great family around me. I doubt if I ever would've been close to my sister, anyway. I just hoped we could stay in contact for when we're the only ones left. It's her choice. I don't know why life has to be so complicated, but it's her choice.

I'm assuming I might never hear from her again based on how she's been in the past.

We'll see.
« Last Edit: September 25, 2013, 02:40:44 PM by Doug1222 »