Author Topic: ((((( BGRx333 )))))  (Read 2894 times)

Terry

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((((( BGRx333 )))))
« on: September 17, 2013, 09:14:59 PM »

(((((BGR)))))

Thinking of you. Please update on how you're doing when you find the time.

Holding you close. :love9:

Love,
Terry

BGRx333

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Re: ((((( BGRx333 )))))
« Reply #1 on: October 15, 2013, 08:42:38 AM »
Out of the blue, I decided to have two couples from my neighborhood over for
dinner tonight. So yesterday I was looking through a big pile of recipes and
came across a stack that my wife had clipped out of Sunset magazine just a
few months ago. She couldn't eat anything but was clipping recipes for the
future. A future that was never going to be. It just crushed me. She was
fighting so valiantly. I called my sister and she kinda talked me down, but
it still hurts so much just to write it here.

Then, this evening, the folks are all here having a good time talking and
eating the food I prepared and they were very appreciative but it all seems
hollow now without my wife. The satisfaction of my life is pleasing her
not these people. It is so unfair that she is not here. I am going through
my life and it momentarily seems "normal." But when I wake up and realize
she is not here it strikes me that it is such a total charade.   

Zylen

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Re: ((((( BGRx333 )))))
« Reply #2 on: October 15, 2013, 09:29:31 AM »
I just did the same with Mary's recipes, looking for one that was one of my favorites.

Of course there were a bunch of holiday recipes in there, and that really hit very hard. She used to do so much baking then. I never did find it.

Those moments of 'clarity' are frightening and so 'final'. I hate those, as it makes me realize the tremendous loss and that this is it. Never again for anything that we used to do.

I may be seeing a light approaching...just not sure yet if it's a light of heaven or more hellish fire.

So yeah, I get it, and so sorry that you do too.

(((((((((BGRx333)))))))

Terry

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Re: ((((( BGRx333 )))))
« Reply #3 on: October 15, 2013, 02:02:14 PM »
Out of the blue, I decided to have two couples from my neighborhood over for
dinner tonight. So yesterday I was looking through a big pile of recipes and
came across a stack that my wife had clipped out of Sunset magazine just a
few months ago. She couldn't eat anything but was clipping recipes for the
future. A future that was never going to be. It just crushed me. She was
fighting so valiantly. I called my sister and she kinda talked me down, but
it still hurts so much just to write it here.

Then, this evening, the folks are all here having a good time talking and
eating the food I prepared and they were very appreciative but it all seems
hollow now without my wife. The satisfaction of my life is pleasing her
not these people. It is so unfair that she is not here. I am going through
my life and it momentarily seems "normal." But when I wake up and realize
she is not here it strikes me that it is such a total charade.   


Thanks for sharing that with us. I know that was very difficult for you. :sad10:

With love & understanding,
Terry

Terry

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Re: ((((( BGRx333 )))))
« Reply #4 on: October 15, 2013, 02:03:52 PM »

I may be seeing a light approaching...just not sure yet if it's a light of heaven or more hellish fire.


Let's hope it's the light from Heaven. :icon_flower:

((((((Kevin))))))

Zylen

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Re: ((((( BGRx333 )))))
« Reply #5 on: November 24, 2013, 03:45:34 PM »

I may be seeing a light approaching...just not sure yet if it's a light of heaven or more hellish fire.


Let's hope it's the light from Heaven. :icon_flower:

((((((Kevin))))))


Well, all the planning and hope has fallen through, and it's only made worse due to a supposed friend's latest act of cruelty and using me, so it's definitely no heaven in the near future for me.

Thank you for the cheering on though.

((((((Terry)))))) <3

Terry

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Re: ((((( BGRx333 )))))
« Reply #6 on: November 24, 2013, 06:53:53 PM »

When we first 'get-out-there' we just never know how solid that first relationship is going to be. We're all in different places and at different times. I try to remember that no one owes me anything and if I expect too much from one so new then it's probably time to lower my expectations.

(I'm not out-there so maybe someone who is or has been could offer better advice to you)

We're all human with our own set of stories and memories. Keep getting out there, Kevin and even if you find good conversation over some hot coffee....that's something!

We're listening if you want to share more about your new meet. :happy7:

Love,
Terry

Zylen

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Re: ((((( BGRx333 )))))
« Reply #7 on: November 24, 2013, 07:57:25 PM »
Thank you for your support, Terry :)

I wish it was that I had met someone new and that what I've been going through is that simple lol

What I feel I can say at this point is that I really don't know how I got into such a situation, and I'm not so sure anyone would really believe it. I know I would be like O_o if I heard someone else tell it.

Well, at least I can say that I have learned some very valuable, if not priceless, lessons from it.

(((((Terry))))) <3