I've spent a lot of time talking about my friend, Becky, in the last year. She's been a huge part of my life since we got back in touch last spring...my wife's life, too. We've spent a lot of time together and talked for hours and hours. I thought we were best friends. I'm no longer friends with her. The whole thing is complicated, but I was forced to say goodbye to her the other day.
She has a lot of issues. I could no longer handle some of them. No specific thing happened. We didn't have an affair or really a fight or anything. We were still friendly all the way to a few days ago then I found out some things I just couldn't handle. I couldn't take some of the drama. I don't think she meant to say hurtful things, but she did. It was too much, and I had to say goodbye while we still had some friendship left. I was worried she'd say something hurtful to my wife. We've never done anything but be kind and generous to her, either. It was time to say goodbye. It's complicated. It's quite possible that our friendship burned too hot and burned out. I wish her the best.
I'll always be thankful that she came along when she did. I was in a deep tailspin at that time. I needed a friend, and she gave me one. I'm thankful for that. My life is better because of her, but there's a point where we have to let go. We hit that point. It was a real goodbye, and I tried to tell her whatever I could to last the rest of our lives. I'm moving on. Some things can't be repaired. Last year, this would have been devastating to me, but I'm oddly at peace with the decision at this point in life. I'm much stronger than I was when she found me thanks in large part to her. I wish her the best. I hope she finds happiness and peace. My wife and I just can't help her anymore.
Still sad, though. She did help me whether she meant to or not, and I'll always be thankful. I just posted last week about how much she helped me when I was having trouble over my brother. I did my best to be a good friend and help her, too. I'll always miss the friendship that could have been, but it was time to let go. We could have stayed such good friends...or maybe that was just my imagination filling a space I needed filled. I don't know. Anyway, I'm glad we got to be friends for a little while as adults. It helped me, and I pray that it helped her. At least I know what happened to that little, blonde haired girl who was my friend when we were kids. Just a little blue today. I'm not used to losing friendships.
I've been through worse, but it's still sad.