Difficult topic - Why it's hard for me to come to this forum sometimes...

[Lori, Alex's Mom]

Hi everyone.  It's been awhile since I've been here.  When I first found the forum, it felt so good to come and read what everyone was writing about their children.  I would read the posts and cry and cry.  It was very good for me because at the time it was almost the only time I would allow myself to cry.

Alex died two months ago on November 5th.  Today is his 2 month anniversary of going on to a better place for him.  I seem to have gone into a different phase and it has gotten to the point that sometimes when I come to this forum and start reading I cannot handle the pain that I hear in everyone's hearts on top of my own pain.

So right now I'm not coming here very often but please know you are all in my heart and prayers.

Peace,

Lori

[Katie--Adam's Mom]

Dear ((((Lori)))),

It is so early for you and so hard to be in so much pain let alone take on anyone else's.  In the beginning maybe we just need to let others be here for us when we need support and in time we come back to read again when we need validation, to know we are not alone in our feelings.  I hope you will post when you need to talk, vent, cry or whatever you need.  There will come a time, I think, when you find yourself reaching out to others who are new to this journey just as someone reached out to you.  We all go through times when there is too much pain and we need a break.  It's all part of this.

Thinking of you and Alex.  Take good care of you.

Love and hugs,
Katie

[CRCmom]

Lori,


I understand how the pain gets compiled.  I am so sorry that you lost Alex.  I feel so often that I could take everyones pain bevause mine is so great, but I know that isn't possible. 

You are loved here.

[Sharon - Dawn's Mom]

Dear Lori,
It's okay to take a break.  There are so many days that things are so painful and if you find that taking a break from that helps, that's what you need to do.  Many times I have taken a break from this board too...but always return for support and understanding. 

Praying for you this moment for strength to make it on this horrific journey of grief!

Love and Hugs to you and your precious Alex.
Sharon - Dawn's Mom Forever

[Dottie (Tammie's Mom)]

Dear Lori,

I understand completely. Your loss is so very new and you are still in shock I'm sure. I am so very sorry for the loss of your Alex.

There are days I don't have the strength to read or reply then there are times I need to read to know I am not alone in this painful journey.

Just know we are here when you are ready,
Dottie Tammie's Mom

[Briarly, James' Mommy]

Lori,
     I am back from a break that I needed to take.  Last year, our first without James, I couldn't get through the holidays without the support on this board.  This year, I couldn't come to the board.  I don't know what was going on with me.  I felt guilt for not being able to lend support, but I had to get through another Christmas without my baby in my own way.  I have missed you all, and thought of all of our children.

[Debh]

Lori I understand why its hard for you to come here. Please know we care and understand and take care of you.

Thinking of you and Alex,

Love
Deb

[Dena]

Lori - Taking a break is something that we all need from time to time.  We not only share our children here, we share pain that is powerful and unique to us as parents.  It can be overwhelming and that is when we most need to take a step or 2 back and take care of ourselves.

Love,
Dena, Josh's Mom

[sykeller (Ray's mom)]

Dear Lori,

Your loss is so very new, I am so very sorry for the loss of your precious Alex.  There are many days I read the posts but don't have the strength to reply.  There are times the emptiness is so great I just don't know what to say but feel the need to read and know I am not alone in this terrible journey.

Wishing you comfort and peace,

Sy

[marie]

Dear Lori it is so hard for you because it is only 2 months since Alex died. You will feel the grief a lot more. It will be 1 year next month Patrick died and I feel the grief every day. You should keep coming to the board because we are your friends and want to help you You need us. LOVE and HUgs Marie