Author Topic: Breakup (Read 3617 times)

arthur · « **on:** July 14, 2013, 05:24:06 PM »

Today I broke up with my girlfriend of 1 1/2 years. It has been a long time coming though. She has criticized me on a pretty consistent basis on just about everything and even embarrassed me in front of my friends once by criticizing me in public in front of them. Last night she embarrassed me in a restaurant by accusing me of looking at other women while I am out with her. Like any man I did look at other women, but I never leered at them , flirted with them or even talked with them, let alone asked one out.Through these one 1 1/2 years I thought it was just my grief over Maureen that was making me feel so bad when I was with my girlfriend...but last night was the last straw. I have given our relationship so much priority that I took all her criticisms in stride..thinking that she would snap out of it. I've talked to her about it before as gently as I could with her. No change. The criticisms just kept coming...and even though I love her, and even considered marrying her..last night was just too much..and it was made plain enough to me that my girlfriend, no matter how I felt about her..no matter how good she was for me in so many ways...was just incapable to be in a healthy marriage with me. So I went to different church this am,where my gf was not at, then went to Maureen's grave and put fresh flowers on it, and asked Maureen to give me the courage to break up with my girlfriend. I did so this afternoon. I've lost all the friends I've made today through my girlfriend, and I've lost her. It has been a very difficult day to say the least. Through all of this I am dealing with severe post concussion syndrome migraine headaches and dealing with my work being intolerant of my headaches and the abscences they cause. I am just in a very dark place right now. I do not see the light at the end of the tunnel.

Terry · « **Reply #1 on:** July 14, 2013, 05:57:29 PM »

Hi-a-friend - I'm sorry things have unraveled for you and that you've been struggling. I'm concerned about those headaches and would like to know if you're seeing a good neurologist. Head injuries can cause problems for years if not attended to in a timely fashion. I've been there and also have had family members going through the same after accidents. If you're not getting results with one doctor, there are many more out there. Please keep me updated.

I wish I had some wise words of advice that would ease all your pain, both emotionally and physically. But, all I have is an ear and a shoulder and I'm here to listen and I'm always good for a hug or two.

This is another loss for you, Arthur and as hard as it may seem to be at this time, know that there's a lining around this cloud, too. You deserve happiness. Maybe it wasn't meant to be? I don't know. Your the only one who truly does. I'm really sorry that this was not the relationship you hoped for. And, sorry for your pain.

I know about being in that dark place. I also understand how dim that light can seem at times, but it's there. Trust me, it's still there. The veil of problems and the pain/heartache clouds it's brightness for a time. Please know that you are not alone and you are loved and cared for.

Please let me know how you're feeling, with those headaches.

Sending hugs and my love to you, Arthur,

Terry

Jean D · « **Reply #2 on:** July 15, 2013, 12:49:36 PM »

Arthur, I'm so sorry you are going through this at this time. You certainly deserve to be treated well and kindly and if you were not...as Terry said, maybe this relationship was not meant to be.

On the headache front, it just might be time to get another opinion about them. As always, we need to take care of ourselves.

((((((((((((Arthur))))))))))))))

Jean

arthur · « **Reply #3 on:** July 19, 2013, 09:20:19 PM »

Thanks Jean, Terry for your kind words. I am just running into a lot of discouragement, disillusionment and a little depression now with this latest loss.
If God wants me to be in this spot then here I will stay! I know He will lead me out of this tunnel of emotional and physical suffering at some point.
Thanks again for your words again.
arthur

jbryant · « **Reply #4 on:** July 20, 2013, 07:53:33 PM »

So sorry (((((((Arthur)))))))

MyLou · « **Reply #5 on:** July 22, 2013, 04:19:52 PM »

(((((((((( ARTHUR )))))))))))

So sorry. To be honest she doesn't deserve you. You don't need to be with someone that treats you like that.

I am sure Maureen agreed if she gave you courage to break it off.

Remember you are WORTH more.

Also, about the headaches we all are worried.

Sending you , love , peace and hope

Always,

Lisa

arthur · « **Reply #6 on:** July 25, 2013, 09:15:22 PM »

Thanks John, and Lisa..for the kind thoughts and wise words. I have found that I unknowingly accumulated a lot of anger at my ex gf.
I have made sure that there is zero contact between us in any way,shape or form. I need to deal with this anger and uncertainty of myself
in addition to the renewed grief for Maureen that this breakup has caused.
Now I am just trying to relax(another thing I lost in my relationship with my gf due to her constant criticism of me)
and heal my head and my heart.
Thanks again for everyone's concern!!
(((Lisa))), (((Jean))), (((John))),(((Terry)))

Terry · « **Reply #7 on:** August 01, 2013, 02:05:54 PM »

Thinking of you, Arthur.

(((((((((Arthur)))))))))

arthur · « **Reply #8 on:** August 01, 2013, 10:06:02 PM »

Thanks Terry! It sure is reassuring that despite all the people I will never see again in my life because of my breakup with my gf, I have my dear friends on this website. The last few weeks have been hard due to migraine headaches and grief for Maureen. I talked to my dr about the headaches and I am going to get another mri done..however he won't prescribe me any more pain meds for non stop headaches I've been getting. I hope they will lessen over time, as I hope my grief for Maureen will lessen some as well. Thanks again for the love and support Terry.
((((((Terry)))))))