Author Topic: This makes me nervous  (Read 5970 times)

headwitch

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This makes me nervous
« on: June 25, 2013, 05:03:47 PM »
It makes me nervous to do this as I have never posted on a board before.  But all the postings and replies I have read have reassured me that everyone seems so nice and concerned about others.  I have read the Board's Guidelines and I certainly hope I don't offend anyone by what I say. 

My son and only child took his life over 3 years ago now on February 17, 2010.  I still struggle every day to find a reason to get out of bed.  I know that I have been blessed with a very loving mom and dad who are both still alive and a wonderful sister and brother-in-law and their 3 boys.  I also have a good man in my life who loved my son as much as he did his own children.  It's just that there doesn't seem to be anything in my life left to look forward to or be joyous about.  I guess I just really need some help finding some meaning somewhere.  I thought maybe if I finally talked to people who had experienced the loss of someone they loved to suicide I could maybe start to heal with their help.

Headwitch.

Terry

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Re: This makes me nervous
« Reply #1 on: June 26, 2013, 09:00:11 AM »

I am so sorry you're having to live without your precious child. And, welcome to webhealing; I'm glad you found us. No reason to ever feel nervous as we are all here for the same reasons and I know you'll find compassion and love here.

Three years is not a long time after losing a child. I  actually consider that time frame to be 'early grief.' It takes a very long time after losing a child to find meaning once again. It was at the three year mark or later for me, (after losing my surviving and oldest son) when I decided that I was going to start a business. I was not being very productive with my life and having a very difficult time. So, it was a choice I made to 'get-out-there' and at least try.
It could be one year or ten years. We are all very unique in how we grieve and when we start to take baby steps forward. One day, one hour and a lot of the time it can be 'One Minute' at a time.

Just know that we're here for you and want to hear about your child. I'm glad to know you have the support of your family....that's so very important.

Much love to you,
Terry


SistersinCanada

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Re: This makes me nervous
« Reply #2 on: June 26, 2013, 03:49:20 PM »
I too was nervous to post here but every time I write about my sister who I lost just over 2 years ago I am supported by many kind people.

I too am so sorry for your loss.  Each of us has to go through this terrible time in order to come out the other side.  We each grieve at our own pace.  Don't feel you have to rush things and don't listen to anyone who says you should "get over it".
You'll never get over it but in time the happy memories will make you smile instead of cry.

I wish you weren't in so much pain.  But the pain you feel shows how much you loved your child.  If you didn't love so much you wouldn't be feeling so sad.

I hope you can find peace.  Just know people care and are thinking of you.

Take care of yourself.

Sisters

Terry

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Re: This makes me nervous
« Reply #3 on: July 03, 2013, 02:12:24 PM »

Thinking of you and hope you're doing OK. Check in when you find the time and let us know how you're doing.

Love,
Terry

Jinxy1

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Re: This makes me nervous
« Reply #4 on: July 03, 2013, 08:56:32 PM »
Hi, I'm Nicky and I lost my son on March 1st this year due to suicide. I just needed a place to be where people understood my feelings, could help me with future feelings and to just listen to me at times. I have been to a "professional" but it seemed to cause more harm then good. I'll try not to be too needy, but at times I can't help it. I'm looking forward to sharing. Thank you in advance.

Terry

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Re: This makes me nervous
« Reply #5 on: July 04, 2013, 06:24:20 AM »
Hi Nicky - welcome to webhealing. Though I'm sorry for the reason you're here, I'm glad you found us. I came to webhealing when my surviving son died 10 years ago and this message board with it's wonderful, caring members was a life line for me. I posted day and night. It was my online journal.

I'm so sorry for your great loss. Tell us more about your precious son, Christopher. We're here to listen. We can only make it with the help from others who truly understand what it's like to bury our flesh and blood. This is such a long journey, but it doesn't have to be a lonely one.

Sending hugs and love to you,
Terry
« Last Edit: July 04, 2013, 06:26:10 AM by Terry »

browneyedgirl

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Re: This makes me nervous
« Reply #6 on: July 04, 2013, 10:22:07 AM »
Hi, I'm Nicky and I lost my son on March 1st this year due to suicide. I just needed a place to be where people understood my feelings, could help me with future feelings and to just listen to me at times. I have been to a "professional" but it seemed to cause more harm then good. I'll try not to be too needy, but at times I can't help it. I'm looking forward to sharing. Thank you in advance.

Welcome Nicky- I am so very sorry for the loss of your son.  You have come to the right place, there are many here who care and we are here for you.  Come back soon and let us know how you're doing.
Tony Repola 07/20/66 – 03/29/09
I know you are fishing in the oceans and streams of heaven

SarahW

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Re: This makes me nervous
« Reply #7 on: July 09, 2013, 09:09:18 PM »
It makes me nervous to do this as I have never posted on a board before.  But all the postings and replies I have read have reassured me that everyone seems so nice and concerned about others.  I have read the Board's Guidelines and I certainly hope I don't offend anyone by what I say. 

My son and only child took his life over 3 years ago now on February 17, 2010.  I still struggle every day to find a reason to get out of bed.  I know that I have been blessed with a very loving mom and dad who are both still alive and a wonderful sister and brother-in-law and their 3 boys.  I also have a good man in my life who loved my son as much as he did his own children.  It's just that there doesn't seem to be anything in my life left to look forward to or be joyous about.  I guess I just really need some help finding some meaning somewhere.  I thought maybe if I finally talked to people who had experienced the loss of someone they loved to suicide I could maybe start to heal with their help.

Headwitch.

Sorry to hear of your loss.  My son died 4 yrs ago.  It wasn't suicide, but it was sudden and unexpected and knocked me for a complete loop. 

He was my only child, and I had been widowed when he was very young, so he was my world.  I think the biggest thing I struggled with was, as you say, "finding a reason to get out of bed."

You are so right that you "need to find some meaning."  Keep your eyes and ears and heart open for opportunities and see what appeals to you, to start getting back into the world.  For me, eventually, it was becoming a foster parent.   I have two beautiful teenage girls that have been with me almost two years now.  It helps so much to see the remarkable growth and progress they have made, and know that I have helped them . . . and they have helped me.

That may not be for everyone - you'll find what is right for you.  But the key for me was getting to a place where I could focus outside myself and my pain.  It took time, and lots of crying and help from a professional counselor and family and friends - and I still cry and struggle.

It will never be OK, I've had to focus on learning how to accept and live with the pain rather than how to lessen the pain.

All my best wishes, and sympathies again for you loss.
I love thee to the level of every day's Most quiet need, by sun and candle-light. -- Emily Dickinson

You were a gift

MARTHA(CANDI'S AUNT)

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Re: This makes me nervous
« Reply #8 on: July 14, 2013, 02:17:07 PM »
i'm sorry for your loss... i'm glad you found this website. everyone here is wonderful...  i'll keep you in my thought's & prayers...



MARTHA

Terry

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Re: This makes me nervous
« Reply #9 on: October 01, 2013, 03:44:51 PM »
It makes me nervous to do this as I have never posted on a board before.  But all the postings and replies I have read have reassured me that everyone seems so nice and concerned about others.  I have read the Board's Guidelines and I certainly hope I don't offend anyone by what I say. 

My son and only child took his life over 3 years ago now on February 17, 2010.  I still struggle every day to find a reason to get out of bed.  I know that I have been blessed with a very loving mom and dad who are both still alive and a wonderful sister and brother-in-law and their 3 boys.  I also have a good man in my life who loved my son as much as he did his own children.  It's just that there doesn't seem to be anything in my life left to look forward to or be joyous about.  I guess I just really need some help finding some meaning somewhere.  I thought maybe if I finally talked to people who had experienced the loss of someone they loved to suicide I could maybe start to heal with their help.

Headwitch.

((((((((Headwitch))))))))

I've been thinking of you and I hope you are doing OK. You may have found a board dedicated to suicide loss, which would be very helpful but just know that we all understand the pain of losing a child here regardless of how they died and if you ever need us, just post!

Holding you close and sending hugs and love, :love9:
Terry