Author Topic: Sixteen months, sometimes feels like yesterday  (Read 2352 times)

joearmitage

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Sixteen months, sometimes feels like yesterday
« on: May 25, 2013, 01:46:50 PM »
Today is the sixteen month anniversary of my Elaine going to Heaven. I don't know how I have got through this far, she must have been helping me. I talk to her all the time, and I KNOW she is with me, she wouldn't not be.
Earlier this year I had an oak tree dedicated to her memory, and later this year I am going to inter her sacred ashes under that tree. When it is my time, my ashes will also be interred under that tree.
I haven't been able to sort out her clothes yet, not even able to open her wardrobe. I also haven't yet been able to look in the drawers where she kept other clothes, plus little items of jewellery etc. I have (sort of) decided that on my next two days off work I will check out the drawers. We shall see.

Joe
xx
And can it be that in a world so full and busy the loss of one creature makes a void so wide and deep that nothing but the width and depth of eternity can fill it up

roseygirl61

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Re: Sixteen months, sometimes feels like yesterday
« Reply #1 on: May 25, 2013, 06:32:29 PM »
((((((Joe)))))
I know the feeling, just passed the two year mark and don't know how I made it this far and it seems like yesterday that my soul mate Bill left this world.  Our loved ones will always be with us and a part of us, I know that!
How wonderful to plant a tree in your loving wife's memory, I may have to think about the same, it is a lovely idea.

Time does seem to get away from me though and the pain is different now, not gone, but different.
May you and everyone else find some peace and comfort in the days, weeks and months to come.

Rose

Terry

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    • “Grief is like the ocean; it comes on waves ebbing and flowing. Sometimes the water is calm, and sometimes it is overwhelming. All we can do is learn to swim.” –Vicki Harrison
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Re: Sixteen months, sometimes feels like yesterday
« Reply #2 on: May 25, 2013, 09:12:26 PM »

Today is the sixteen month anniversary of my Elaine going to Heaven. I don't know how I have got through this far, she must have been helping me. I talk to her all the time, and I KNOW she is with me, she wouldn't not be.


(((((Joe))))) Sometimes we really don't know how we make it through as long or as well as we do. Time sure does go by though.  And for me, time created a space between that cruel and gut wrenching pain and the light that streams through the cracks of the earth....as I'm looking up. So long I have been, in that pit of grief. Especially the raw early grief that is at times, unbearable. I understand. :love9:


Earlier this year I had an oak tree dedicated to her memory, and later this year I am going to inter her sacred ashes under that tree. When it is my time, my ashes will also be interred under that tree.
I haven't been able to sort out her clothes yet, not even able to open her wardrobe. I also haven't yet been able to look in the drawers where she kept other clothes, plus little items of jewellery etc. I have (sort of) decided that on my next two days off work I will check out the drawers. We shall see.


What a beautiful way to honor Elaine and that Oak will stand tall and strong, just as her love for you always has.

I have never removed any of my loved ones belongings and that includes those of my three children. Some have claimed (as if they know the secrets of my heart) that it's a sign of healing when you can pack up their things and remove them from the home. Basically removing all evidence of their existence. Not so, I say with all of the certainty and love in my heart. It has always brought me comfort in my healing process to see their favorite things and to have them around with each a reminder, a memory of a life shared. And, it's because of their love that I was able to heal and able to find meaning again in my life, even after the death of my children. Although the death of my precious children has left a hole in my heart/life that can never be filled. My loved ones may be physically gone from my view but they remain in my life just as the air I breathe in and out everyday remains a constant.

Do what you are comfortable doing and when you are comfortable doing it. But, do it for you, not for those who feel that the time they have designated [for you] that you should be moving on with your life is nearing an expiration date. It (their personal belongings) may just be 'stuff' but to some it is the wrapping paper and the bows of precious gifts and each hold a memory that cannot escape the heart.

This is your grief. You own every step of it. When I began to accept ownership of my grief was when I was able to deal with every feeling. Face every memory. Accept that the pain I felt was the result of the great love I was blessed with. Although we hear quite a bit that 'you never walk alone' (and here at Webhealing I can say with certainty that that's much more than just a cliche', due to the amount of support and love we display for one another) nevertheless it's a walk that we alone accept as our greatest challenge and ultimately, the freshest and cleanest air that we will exhale when nearing the top of our mountain will be the peace gifted us through the healing of our hearts.

That peace is what I wish for you!

Thanks so much for your post, Joe! It was lovely, sharing of your precious Elaine as you always do with all of the love in your heart. You both were truly blessed with a great love. And, Elaine will remain forever in your heart. :love9:

I have missed seeing your postings and I look forward to your updates!

Always here for you with love, support and understanding,
Terry

alwayshopefull2009

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Re: Sixteen months, sometimes feels like yesterday
« Reply #3 on: July 03, 2013, 03:44:27 AM »
well thats a little bit of encouragement.  I just looked at the calendar today and thought it had been 4 weeks plus since my wife passed away, but its not even been 3 full weeks, it seems time ticks by soooo slowly, the hours, the days, they are long in passing, i cant even fathom a year, two or more without ever talking with or hold
Teresa hand again, is this for real?  My mind plays tricks on me and lets me think somehow one she will just be back like before. 

jbryant

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Re: Sixteen months, sometimes feels like yesterday
« Reply #4 on: July 20, 2013, 08:13:36 PM »
(((((((Always)))))))) gives me more hope thank you all