Author Topic: Don't know if I'll make it through Mother's Day  (Read 2360 times)

grizzycat119

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Don't know if I'll make it through Mother's Day
« on: May 06, 2013, 01:08:12 PM »
So this weekend was a bad one emotionally for me.  I'd gone into the store to pick up my groceries after ordering them online.  They were selling plants for Mother's day.  I came across one of Mom's favorites and lost it.  Right their in the store.  Throwing the plant back , I realized just how angry I still am at Mom for leaving us so soon.  Doesn't she know that she left her family who loves her?  Her cat is broken hearted and when she meows, it sounds like she's meowing "Ma ma" and she's soooooo lost.  Felt totally embarrassed for losing it in the store that I had to leave.  Running outside in tears, I sent my boyfriend back inside to get our groceries while I sat in his car and sobbed.  This is still so new. 

     Last Mother's day, I never imagined that Mom wouldn't be here.  Not ever!

     The only support I'm getting with my grief is from my Church, my boyfriend's entire family and my Dad.  As for my sister?  Forget it.  She's glad Mom's dead I swear.  I explained that in a previous post.  My boyfriend suggested having a graveside picnic on Mother's day but I don't know if the cemetery will permit that.  He says doing that, in a way she'll be with us.  I wanted to just stay in bed the entire day on Mother's day but if I'm going to heal, I need to allow myself to feel the pain.  I guess what I've learned from Mom's death is never take anything or anyone for granted.  Because you'll never know when it'll be gone.  Still can't even go through her belongings.
Christy

Terry

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Re: Don't know if I'll make it through Mother's Day
« Reply #1 on: May 07, 2013, 01:06:40 PM »

I wanted to just stay in bed the entire day on Mother's day but if I'm going to heal, I need to allow myself to feel the pain.  I guess what I've learned from Mom's death is never take anything or anyone for granted.  Because you'll never know when it'll be gone.  Still can't even go through her belongings.


Wise words. It is the very difficult work we do while grieving and as you shared "feeling the pain" is very important to healing our hearts to be able to move forward. We never move away from them rather take them with us by honoring their memory and we do that by living our lives. But, that takes time and a lot of patience with ourselves.

So true that we never know when we're going to lose someone. We shouldn't take anyone for granted.

Thank You for this reminder!

Love,
Terry