Author Topic: whats next ???!!!!  (Read 5744 times)

MartinJ

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whats next ???!!!!
« on: March 19, 2013, 05:33:02 PM »
WELL I WONDER WHAT WILL BE NEXT,I WENT TO THE BANK SAT.AND THE LADY WAITING ON ME KNEW WENDY(MY DECEASED WIFE)AND SHE ASKED ME "WHERE IS WENDY I HAVEN'T SEEN HER IN AWHILE",I ALMOST STARTED CRYING BUT I HELD IT TOGETHER AND TOLD WHAT HAD HAPPENED AND GOT OUT OF THERE,GOT IN THE TRUCK AND THE BATTERY WAS ALMOST DEAD,HAD TO BUT A BATTERY.SUNDAY WAS A LONG DAY,MONDAY WENT TO START GETTING MY G.E.D.EVERYTHING WAS GOING WELL UNTIL I GOT HOME THERE 2 BILLS OF WENDY'S IN THE MAILBOX HAD TO CALL AND DEAL WITH THAT,THEN THE GUY FROM THE FUNERAL HOME CAME BY TO SHOW ME SOME GRAVE MARKERS(NEVER ENDING).TODAY WAS O.K.,I TOOK MY NEICE TO OUR FAVORITE MEXICAN RESTRAUNT AND SURE ENOUGH I SEEN AN OLD HIGH SCHOOL FRIEND AND SHE HAD TO ASK TOO,WILL IT EVER END?? IT'S NOT EVEN WORTH LEAVING THE HOUSE !!!!!!!!!

browneyedgirl

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Re: whats next ???!!!!
« Reply #1 on: March 20, 2013, 08:55:43 AM »
((((Martin)))))

I am so sorry you had a rough couple of days.  I do not have the answer as to when you will feel some relief, all I can offer is to just take one day at a time.  I know that is not much.  Thinking of you.  :engel2:
Tony Repola 07/20/66 – 03/29/09
I know you are fishing in the oceans and streams of heaven

Terry

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    • “Grief is like the ocean; it comes on waves ebbing and flowing. Sometimes the water is calm, and sometimes it is overwhelming. All we can do is learn to swim.” –Vicki Harrison
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Re: whats next ???!!!!
« Reply #2 on: March 20, 2013, 11:39:17 AM »

Martin - life continues on even in our darkest hour. Many times I've felt like screaming out, "World, please slow down while I catch up. Can't you see I'm carrying a heavy load?" :sad1:

Every day stressers that wouldn't ordinarily disturb us become somewhat overwhelming when we're grieving. Know that I understand.
I'm glad you enjoyed the afternoon with your niece!  :icon_flower:

One second at a time, one long, deep breath......

Sending you hugs and my love, :love9:

(((((((((Martin)))))))))

Love,
Terry

MartinJ

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Re: whats next ???!!!!
« Reply #3 on: March 20, 2013, 01:39:37 PM »
THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR YOUR KIND THOUGHTS,TODAY HAS BEEN BETTER,SO FAR BUT IT'S EARLY IT CAN SILL FAR APART.IT SEEMS AS THOUGH I CAN TALK ABOUT WHAT HAPPEN IF I START THE CONVERSATION BUT IF SOMEONELSE STARTS TALKING ABOUT MY SITUATION FIRST THATS WHEN IT HURTS,I DON'T UNDERSTAND THAT ? ANYBODY GOT ANY IDEAS WHY ???

THANKS AGAIN TERRY & BROWNEYEDGIRL IT MEANS SO MUCH TO HEAR FROM SOMEONE OUTSIDE OF MY FAMILY !!!!!!

browneyedgirl

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Re: whats next ???!!!!
« Reply #4 on: March 20, 2013, 03:31:10 PM »
Martin - if there is one thing I have learned is that grief is unique as we are...and "normal" goes out the window.  Be patient with yourself.  We are here for you. 
Tony Repola 07/20/66 – 03/29/09
I know you are fishing in the oceans and streams of heaven

MartinJ

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Re: whats next ???!!!!
« Reply #5 on: March 20, 2013, 04:21:34 PM »
THANK YOU FOR BEING HERE TO LISTEN TO ME,THAT MEANS EVERYTHING TO ME RIGHT NOW,AND I'AM TYRING TO TAKE 1 HOUR-1 DAY AT A TIME,IT JUST GETS HARD AT TIMES WITH SUCH A ALONE FEELING THAT I HAVE,I CAN BE IN A CROWDED ROOM AND STILL FEEL ALL ALONE(IT SUCKS IT REALLY DOES)BUT THANKS FOR LISTENING AND HELPING !!!

MyLou

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Re: whats next ???!!!!
« Reply #6 on: March 20, 2013, 04:22:43 PM »
(((((((( MARTIN )))))))))

So sorry you had some horrible/rough days.  It's hard and it sucks big time.  

It went both ways for me if I talked about Lou or if someone asked the tears started to pour.  I would just excuse myself and walk away. I remember also just going into my boss's office to talk about something and the tears would flow.  Again I would have to walk away.

Try to say I can't talk about it.  They will understand and if they don't shame on them.  This is about YOU and your grief.

Yes, I've been there you are in this BIG world and feel all alone.  You aren't we will always be here for you.

Sending peace, hugs , hope  :angel11:

Always,

Lisa
"Soulmates Forever"

I miss you every second of everyday My Love

I know I will see you again

MartinJ

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Re: whats next ???!!!!
« Reply #7 on: March 20, 2013, 07:41:00 PM »
Thanks Lisa,it always helps to hear from someone who's been in my situation,it's strange i'll be doing good at all at once I'll get that alone feeling and i don't know what to do about it.But I do appreciate you and everyone helping and coaching me through these hard days,I don't know what I'd do if it wasn't for my mother and you all,Thank you from the bottom of my heart!!!I hope one day I can help someone like you all have helped me !!!!!!!

MyLou

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Re: whats next ???!!!!
« Reply #8 on: March 21, 2013, 01:37:56 AM »
MARTIN,

Feeling ALONE just comes over us. I didn't know what to do either but went through every emotion.

In time it will pass I promise ....

I posted this song awhile back.

I feel so strong about this song. Lean on Us ... We all Lean each other ...
Glee Lean On Me cover Nick Pitera
"Soulmates Forever"

I miss you every second of everyday My Love

I know I will see you again

MartinJ

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Re: whats next ???!!!!
« Reply #9 on: March 21, 2013, 11:11:02 AM »
Thank you Lisa for that,I really need someone to lean on right now,I use to lean on Wendy and she leaned on me,but now I have all of you,thanks so much for being here !!!

Martin !!!

SistersinCanada

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Re: whats next ???!!!!
« Reply #10 on: March 21, 2013, 03:33:09 PM »
I know what it's like to start crying when someone mentions your loved one but look at it like this, isn't it nice that people ask
about her.  Try to take some comfort from that.  Other people cared about her too.
Sisters

MartinJ

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Re: whats next ???!!!!
« Reply #11 on: March 21, 2013, 05:02:50 PM »
Thank You Sisters,I never thought of it that way I think that might make it a little easier.I had to go to the Social Security office today about the one time payout to help with the expenses,that was hard,I guess because it made feel like"she's not coming back"I hate to admit it, the book I've been reading says I need to tell myself that at least 2 times a day,I;ve been doing that for the past 3 days,I still want to tear up and cry when I say it and that really hurts,but I'm trying to take "Baby Steps"like Lisa said,but it's still hard !!!!That's what I like about this sight,I learn how to take things and do things differently to help myself.

Thanks again Sisters !!

stampingwidow

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Re: whats next ???!!!!
« Reply #12 on: March 22, 2013, 11:18:23 AM »
Grief is a very strange process.  It is a long difficult process.  You will come out being a stronger person but it takes time & pain.  Sometimes it is the little things that really hurt, when you least expect it.  It has been 15 months since my husband's death.  The pain has lessened but still hits me at times.   Have you attended any grief groups?  If not, please give them a try.  It can be very helpful!  Going to a counsellor helps me yet. has helped me too.  Hang in there, you can get through this!  Ann

johnkmurray

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Re: whats next ???!!!!
« Reply #13 on: March 22, 2013, 01:15:14 PM »
((((Martin))))

Don't beat yourself up. It takes time. Just when you start feeling better something will remind you of your loss and grief will flare ... all part of the healing process.

John

MartinJ

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Re: whats next ???!!!!
« Reply #14 on: March 22, 2013, 06:11:19 PM »
Thanks John & Ann,yes I'm going to a counselor,as a matter of a fact I went today,and she is very helpful and reading about grief has also helped me.Your right John I was having a pretty good day today and about 12:00 I got a call from H.R. they needed to see me,they need a DEATH CERTIFICATE to remove my deceased wife from our Health Ins. and that brought the hurt back again,seems like I can't go anywhere any more not even work without someone asking or bringing up the death of my wife,but like all of you have said and my counselor keeps telling me "it will get better in time" I keep telling myself that but it seems like time is standing still!!!

Thanks John !!
Thanks Ann !!

Martin