Author Topic: Alone and Scared  (Read 3372 times)

Chris89

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Alone and Scared
« on: March 13, 2013, 10:25:13 AM »
Why won't these tears and thoughts just give me a break for once.
In the present days and feel so alone and I'm scare to death of the upcoming future without the greatest gift I ever had.
I have graduation coming up and in a time where I should feel proud and happy, I only feel tears and heartache daily.
I just want Liz back, but I know that can never happen. To be honest I just don't want to exist anymore (that isn't a suicide plea or cry-out, its just honesty). I just feel so alone and so scared and I just don't know what to do about it.
God Damn It All, Why does this have to happen to me? Why don't this tears and feeling just leave me alone?

stampingwidow

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Re: Alone and Scared
« Reply #1 on: March 13, 2013, 11:56:45 AM »
It takes a lot of time for the tears to go away!  On the other hand it would be sad if you did not miss her.  Have you participated in any grief support groups?  They helped me have a better understanding of te grief process.  People in the groups also gave me ideas on how to handle my grieving , fear and resulting problems.  Going to a grief counselor has also been beneficial.  This is a long process.  In the beginning we need to take baby steps.  Try not o get impatient with the process!

Jean D

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Re: Alone and Scared
« Reply #2 on: March 13, 2013, 12:22:59 PM »
Chris,

My heart goes out to  you. We hurt so badly because we loved so deeply. I'm trying to concentrate on the love I had with Ben and not the pain I feel now...it isn't always easy, if ever. Next week we would have celebrated our 41st wedding anniversary. Everyone is different so you will get lots of things to try...I have found comfort and wisdom here on these pages and in an in person grief support group I joined at my church. I also talk to Ben about how I feel, no I don't get answers back, but some how I feel comfort when I sit in my back yard and look up at the stars and talk to him. Someone suggested writing a letter telling him how much I appreciated him and if there is anything I need to say I'm sorry about or ask forgiveness for, put that in the letter too.

Ben has been gone just a little over 15 months and I can tell you this...the pain changes, becomes more bearable. It happens at different times for every one, but I understand it usually happens.  Hang in there and when you need to, come here and talk....we all feel alone and scared and we understand.

Jean

MyLou

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Re: Alone and Scared
« Reply #3 on: March 13, 2013, 03:16:48 PM »
((((((( CHRIS )))))))

We all feel your pain.  I wish I could take it away for you but it's a process. In time it will ease. Oh how I hated when I heard those words.  I just wanted the pain and tears to stop right away.  It's true we love so deeply. So the pain is so deep in our SOUL and Heart.

Feeling all alone and scared is normal. This will also ease in time.

I know you want Liz back we all want them back and would do anything to change that.

Like Jean said she talks to Ben. I talk to Lou all the time. There isn't a day that goes by without me talking to him.  I know he is near and he does send me signs.

Talk to Liz , journal it might help.

You should be proud you are graduating. Liz is very proud of you and so are we  :icon_flower:

Sending you , peace, hope, love and hugs :angel11:

Always,

Lisa
"Soulmates Forever"

I miss you every second of everyday My Love

I know I will see you again

Terry

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Re: Alone and Scared
« Reply #4 on: March 15, 2013, 10:10:05 PM »

((((((((Chris))))))))) Sending you hugs, love and understanding. :love9:

Terry

johnkmurray

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Re: Alone and Scared
« Reply #5 on: March 17, 2013, 08:21:50 AM »
((((Chris))))

Yep. Been there, done that, got the tear-stained crappy t-shirt. The walls close in, you feel an aching lonliness yet you can't bear to be with people. The only one who gave meaning to life is gone. Worst of all, you may not have fully realised this until she was gone. I lost my reason for living when cancer took my dear Kit three years ago. You're not alone, Chris, many of us here have been through it. Each experience differs but we share a commonality. I'm here to tell you that it does get better. It takes time. There is no magic pill to make us whole again, although we all wish there was. Then again, if we could just turn off those feelings, would that cheapen the memories of our lost loves? On second though, I'll pass on that magic pill. My pain these last three years reflects the love we had. This road has been tough, but it made me fully aware of the love I had ... and of the new love that I let into my life recently. She won't replace Kit, but is finding a place all her own in my heart.

I made it through this with the help of good friends, not the least of whom I met here at Webhealing. I came here, a broken shell of a man, looking for some reason to go on. Thanks to Terry, Pam, Lisa, and a list of others too long to name I managed to get through it one day, one hour, sometimes one minute at a time. Welcome to Webhealing. May you find the comfort you seek.

John