my loss

[MartinJ]

Thanks John,I'm very sorry to hear about your loss too,your right everyone here on this sight has been so helpful,honest & sincere.There are so many things to go through alone,I never imagined I would be without my BEAUTIFUL WIFE at 47,I have had to deal with the Health Ins. Comp. the Auto Ins. Comp. she always dealt with them,I don't mind doing it but it reminds me of her but so many things do now.Like I told a buddy at work,THE DAYS ARE LONG AND THE NIGHTS ARE EVEN LONGER.Thanks so much for caring that really means alot,if you or anybody else ever needs to talk I'm here,you have all been here for me.

Thanks to you jbryant and everyone else on this sight !!!!!!!

[MyLou]

Martin,

It's so true that "The days are long and nights are even longer " I remember that all to well in the beginning and I am sure everyone here feels the same. I couldn't see light. It was all dark. 

Then it changed. It will soften in time I promise.

Stay with us and we will walk/help you through your journey.

No one asked for this New Journey/Life.  It just decided to show up oneday.

Sending you , love , peace, faith and hugs


Always,

Lisa

[MartinJ]

Thanks Lisa,for your post it means so much when everybody on this sight talks to me about whats going on.I do have question,I hope it doesn't bring back bad memories,when you were first going through this did you like being in the dark and quiet,for some reason I like to turn the T.V. down and the lights off and just set there,is this normal ?? I think this is the hardest thing I have ever been through,but I've got to say I don't think I would have made it this far without everyone on this sight,I'm sure glad i found it !!!! Like I told John yesterday,if you or anybody needs to talk I'm here.If my question is too much I'll understand.

Thanks again!!!!!!

[MyLou]

Martin,

We all grieve differently so yes I would say it's normal. It's OK whatever you want to do. I am thinking you do this after work or weekends? If it helps do it.

I would come home and just go to bed and cry and just beg God to let me sleep. I couldn't watch tv or listen to the radio for months. 

I actually thought I was going crazy of all that I did and how I was feeling. Until I read a few grief books and it was all normal. If you can buy a grief book.

Hope this helps keep posting.

Always,

Lisa

[MartinJ]

Thanks Lisa,Yea I think sometimes I'm going crazy too,the other day at work I lost my truck in the parking lot,I've worked there for 29 years and never done that before,I almost paniced.I guess your right death of a loved one affects everyone differently.I started reading a book called Healing Grief Finding Peace by:Dr.Louis Lagrand,it seems to be helping,it gives me some insight on what to expect and some good ideas to get through what they call Grief Attacks,when thr weather warms up here I'll be able to go walking and ride my bike and just get away sometimes.How are doing with your loss ?

Thanks to all !!

MartinJ

[Jean D]

Hi Martin,

I think what I got most out of this site was and is understanding I am not going crazy. That what I felt and still feel is normal for what we have gone through. This site also has given me great hope as I see many folks picking up and finding peace. I'm getting there. It is sometimes two steps forward and one back...but that is better than one forward and two back. So even though I still cannot look at pictures without breaking into tears, I'm making progress and  I'm learning patience with myself.  I still miss Ben so much and I know I always will...but the pain changes with time.

Jean

[MartinJ]

Thanks Jean,hearing from you & everybody gives me hope that one day in the distant future I might feel better,sometimes I wonder then I turn on the computer and someone like you reaches out to give me hope,Thanks again.I never knew that grief could hurt like it does,when my wife went to rehab I thought I missed her,what I'm going through now is no comparison just knowing she's never coming back HURTS BODY & SOUL.

Thanks for being there

MartinJ

[MyLou]

Martin,

I understand you losing your truck. I have lost many things. I thought it was only me. I had posted that last year but a lot felt the same. We were forgetting where we put things. It was a relief it wasn't only me. 

I know the aniexty all to well.  It got better but I do take medicine for it.  Especially those bad days. 

I'm doing better but I do have my days. I always talk to Lou everyday still. I will always miss him but I know he is with me. I will see him again.

Grief takes over your body and soul. My heart/soul is in a million pieces. When I loss Lou just felt like someone just crushed my whole being, heart/soul.

Always,
Lisa

[MartinJ]

Thanks Lisa,yea I thought I was loosing it at first but I read my book some that night after loosing my truck and said in there it was normal to forget things,because your body and mind are going through a big change,my LOVELY WIFE always told me that I wasn't good with change,lord was she ever right!!Yesterday I had to put brakes on my wife's 4 Runner and use to I was up on on and got it done,but yesterday I just had to force myself to get started on it,I hate theat feeling.Maybe today will be better(I HOPE)

Thanks for everything Lisa

Missing My Beautiful Wife!!!