I don't have much of a clue as to what I am doing, where I am headed out there in life, or in here wrestling with my grief. I do know I have identified a new fear and this fear is the coming holidays, and I know this one is way future tripping yet Jennifer's 1 year. I have had a horrible weekend so far, and have had a realization that I am going to have to move from this place I live now for it has become unbearable being miss treated emotionally.
I am so much like my Mother, because I went to bed last night in a horrible mood because of my roommate, and this morning I woke up with a plan or as best of a plan than I've had which is none at all really. So this plan is getting some work so I can buy a little pickup save a little money so when the end of February comes I will be heading to Jasper, Tx. so I can be at my wife's grave at least on the first year. I only came to Oregon to bury my Mother's ashes on the homestead which I am hoping to accomplish on my way to Texas.
Like I said not much of a plan yet I have to get out of here yet am not willing to throw myself back into the streets to be homeless in the beginning of winter. So I'll have to tough it out and I figure (cross my fingers) if I'm focusing on work, and saving money I won't be so exposed here, being used as an emotional punching bag. I have had enough.
Thanks for reading. ~Rodney~