Author Topic: Ready and Wishing for some Ease  (Read 3466 times)

Chris89

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Ready and Wishing for some Ease
« on: November 12, 2012, 02:47:14 PM »
I am completely ready, and in need, for some ease from grief. I know that it won't disappear over night but come-on! Just a little bit easier would be helpful. I thought time was suppose to heal, I thought the antidepressants would help, I thought talking about it to a therapist would help, but I'm having my lowest of lows as if Liz pasted away yesterday. Today I couldn't even go to work because of how bad my grief is getting. I cry for a little while, wash my face and feel better for maybe 5 seconds and then it hits me again that She's Gone. I feel so alone and such negativity about myself now-a-days. I wish I could heard her voice telling me "I Love You so Much" again just to help ease my heart.
Just a Rant

Jean D

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Re: Ready and Wishing for some Ease
« Reply #1 on: November 12, 2012, 03:03:19 PM »
Chris,
Talk to the doctor or therapist who provided you with the antidepressants. It may be that you have not been on them long enough, but if they are not working, there are others they can give you to try.  My heart hurts for you. I know it doesn't help to hear that others have been where you are, but we have. For myself, I sometimes go back there to that place where I cannot seem to stop crying or I just sit and do nothing.  But the good days/hours are beginning to outweigh the bad. It will happen for you too. In the meantime, do what you need to do...I remember a lot of yelling, screaming and cussing at the walls of my home. Others write it out, go for a walk, pray, meditate, whatever feels right to you. But always know we are here for you and you can rant here as much as you need to.

Jean
(((((((((((((Chris))))))))))))))))

browneyedgirl

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Re: Ready and Wishing for some Ease
« Reply #2 on: November 12, 2012, 04:25:46 PM »
((((((Chris))))))))

You're so early in your grief, you have to be patient with yourself.  Jean has given you some good advise.  Time does not heal all wounds, it just makes it bearalbe.  We are all here for you. 
Tony Repola 07/20/66 – 03/29/09
I know you are fishing in the oceans and streams of heaven

MyLou

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Re: Ready and Wishing for some Ease
« Reply #3 on: November 12, 2012, 05:49:14 PM »
((((((((((( CHRIS ))))))))))))


Rant as much as you want.  I promise the pain will ease. I never believed it could.

You have to get your pain out cry, yell , cuss like Jean said.  

It breaks my heart to see you in pain like others. I know now I can help others on this dark nightmare journey.

Call your doctor about your medicine you might need something different. Your doctor will know best.  

Always,

Lisa
« Last Edit: November 12, 2012, 05:51:06 PM by MyLou »
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I miss you every second of everyday My Love

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Terry

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Re: Ready and Wishing for some Ease
« Reply #4 on: November 12, 2012, 08:29:34 PM »
I am completely ready, and in need, for some ease from grief. I know that it won't disappear over night but come-on! Just a little bit easier would be helpful. I thought time was suppose to heal, I thought the antidepressants would help, I thought talking about it to a therapist would help, but I'm having my lowest of lows as if Liz pasted away yesterday. Today I couldn't even go to work because of how bad my grief is getting. I cry for a little while, wash my face and feel better for maybe 5 seconds and then it hits me again that She's Gone. I feel so alone and such negativity about myself now-a-days. I wish I could heard her voice telling me "I Love You so Much" again just to help ease my heart.
Just a Rant


Chris, it was just 3 months on the 10th since Liz died and in 'grief time', I call them minutes. There were many days when I felt that the pain was going to swallow me up and I was just going to disappear. This is a very long journey for those who truly are working toward healing.

At just 3 months, Chris I don't even think I was coming out of shock yet, though I was always grateful for it, for as long as it lasted.  But, when that shock begins to wear off, the reality sets in that they are really gone and that awful pain sets in. It's a different pain than earlier in our grief.
With many of my losses, not until about a year did it begin to actually register that they were gone and they were not coming back. That reality may be already setting in for you and it's awful pain. Please know that I understand. We all do.

Time does help with the pain in the sense that it becomes different. Manageable. A lot changes over time.

Meds need to be monitored, of course and the blood work will show if you are getting too much or too little of your prescribed medication. Neither is healthy and can make you feel worse. Then again, you may not need them at all.

Baby steps. One day at a time. That's all any of us can do. We all felt the same way you are feeling now, when this early in our grief. Take care of 'you' by drinking a lot of water, eating well and resting.

Tell us more about Liz when you are able.

Sending hugs & understanding,
Love,
Terry



arthur

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Re: Ready and Wishing for some Ease
« Reply #5 on: November 13, 2012, 12:08:49 AM »
Hi Chris..I am so sorry for the death of your dear Liz. Hang in there. Terry's advice of one day at a time is so crucial in these early stages of grief..really its more like one half day, one hour, and sometimes one minute at a time because it is such a painful time. One thing I would add is to make sure to make yourself get out and get some physical activity of some sort..I found it really helps especially if it is in a guided program like a trainer at a gym..which I still do. God Bless you Chris. (((((Chris)))))-arthur

jasonkl

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Re: Ready and Wishing for some Ease
« Reply #6 on: November 13, 2012, 01:38:02 PM »
Chris at this time last year I was at 3 months. And I think if I remember the pain right I had just got the coranor's report which raised more questions than answers. The numbness had just started to ware off.  It got worse before it got better. The advise you have been give here is priceless. It is one second at a time. As they say this will pass.

For now do what you have to do.

Jason

browneyedgirl

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Re: Ready and Wishing for some Ease
« Reply #7 on: December 05, 2012, 04:46:28 PM »
Chris - wondering how you're doing.
Tony Repola 07/20/66 – 03/29/09
I know you are fishing in the oceans and streams of heaven

Rodney

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Re: Ready and Wishing for some Ease
« Reply #8 on: December 07, 2012, 01:02:13 AM »
((((((((((((((Chris)))))))))))))))

Chris hang in there. Do only what you have to. And breath one breath at a time. In my first months I stopped breathing, and would have to focus consciously to make myself breath. Drink as much water as you can. If possible try to eat something too. Just good thoughts for you my friend that's all.
~Rodney~