Author Topic: Doyle & I still lost  (Read 1292 times)

jbryant

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Doyle & I still lost
« on: November 14, 2012, 08:26:37 PM »
it would have bee 34 yrs for us on the 12th and it's been 3 months since I last said I loved you to him Ive been seeing 2 theropists and ive been reading 3 books and ive been here reading a lot of stories.I still cry everyday but to know the difference of the tears we shed for our loss makes it a little easier but the real pain has set in and it's so hard.
I stay in my music most of the time it's been so much help for me cause I seem to relate to the music to our love for each other Ive found the Family that I thought I once shared with him (his family) well we seem to have went our seperate ways but he told me it would be that way.yes we had the time to talk things out and we always thought their would be another tomorrow how we were so wrong.
But he knew and ive come to relize that he knew long before and just kept quite and smiling and telling me it's gonna be alright keep and happy face and carry on well my love it aint that easy Now to figure out what it is Im here for now cause Ive only known how to be a caregiver for so many yrs been around so much pain in my own life that ive hidden for so many yrs and now learning how to cope with all of this at one time well everyone here knows just what im saying and feeling in some way or another.how I hope the light will shine on me one day soon cause I feel like ive been thru enjough hell in my life to last 2 to 3 lifes but that's life right? Im still lost but im more dont know that answer yet .but Im sure that one day soon I will see things feel things as I wait for this new normal we will all come to experience one day soon but right now all can do is dream and remenincse in my memories  :tearyeyed: Im gonna ride up to Mt Ranier this weekend to see some snow and dream and try to figure out what Im supposed to do now we just learn to deal with the pain, yea right I just dont know Im still learning but its one day at a time and we'll cross that bridge when we get to it guess what were here now what??????????????????????

browneyedgirl

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Re: Doyle & I still lost
« Reply #1 on: November 15, 2012, 11:32:11 AM »
(((((john)))))

You're so early on this journey.  Feel free to do whatever makes you feel better, you have suffered an enormous loss.  I hope you enjoy your trip.

Thinking of you and holding you close to my heart.
Tony Repola 07/20/66 – 03/29/09
I know you are fishing in the oceans and streams of heaven

Terry

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Re: Doyle & I still lost
« Reply #2 on: November 15, 2012, 11:38:18 AM »

John, I'm sorry you have just dealt with a very important date, your anniversary as I understand how difficult they are to get through. When you find the time, please post all of Doyle's dates in the thread Birthdays and Angel dates/Anniversaries so we can acknowledge his date and offer you support.

Music is food for the soul. The first thing I do every morning is turn on my stereo.

You'll find your way, John. I know how confusing it can be and for a long time. I've gone through it. Just take one day at a time and feel what you need to, when you need to. Most important!

Maybe a trip to the mountains is in order for you right now and may give you some perspective. Any change is good! Let us know how that goes for you. I'll be thinking of you. And, be safe!

(((((((((((John)))))))))

Love,
Terry