Hi, everybody. It's been a while since I made a new post, but I'd like to share something wonderful that happened to me recently.
I went to school in a TINY town for grade school. The whole town had 47 people. We lived way out in the country on a farm. There weren't a lot of kids there. I had a friend named Becky who was very dear to me. She was tiny and quiet and so sweet. We were in the same class in kindergarten, first, second, and third grade and did everything together. Then we moved away suddenly in third grade and I never saw her again...
Until a few months ago when she found me on Facebook! She sent a friend request and said,"I'm not sure if you remember me." I instantly did!! She was my best friend! Pretty soon after that, she sent one to my wife, also. I think that was probably to confirm that there wasn’t anything shady going on. She just missed her friend. Now she’s becoming best friends with my wife, also! She’s just such a sweet person and so funny!
Well, needless to say, a lot has happened in the last thirty-six years. She's on a second marriage (not a good one) and lost a teenage son to an accidental overdose a couple years ago. She's been through a whole lot of other stuff, too. I lost my brother and my dad, got married, nearly lost our son, and on and on. She’s been singing professionally since she was nineteen but never had a big break. I nearly got into the music industry, also. We’ve talked a lot about the past, and Becky had a much harder life than I knew growing up. She kept telling me,”I missed you so much.” There were things in her home life that made that make sense. I missed her, too. I didn’t even know how much until we re-connected. She hasn’t had an easy adult life, either. We talked about my sister who hasn’t spoken to my mom in two or three years and barely keeps in contact with me anymore. We talk about the past, the present, and the future. We go on and on trying to fill in the blanks from nearly forty years. Both of us can’t shut up when we’re talking. It seems like there’s just so much to say after so many years. It’s been maybe six months since she contacted me, and we still can’t quit talking. We have so much in common, and she has an incredible amount in common with my wife as well!
My wife and I have gone up twice to hang out with her. The first time was to watch her perform in a music show and then hang out and see her sing karaoke. She does that a lot just for practice and fun. It was amazing. She’s a phenomenal singer and songwriter. She waited for us during an intermission in her show, and the second I saw her, I remembered how much I cared for her. We just hugged and hugged. Last weekend, we went up to hang out with her again. I did a duet with her. We have so much fun hanging out with her. Each time we leave, my wife says,”That was so much fun! I really like her.” Then Becky will send me a message or something that says,”You have such a wonderful wife. I really like her!” Both of them have told me that they’re shocked how well they clicked. I’ll be chatting with Becky on the computer when my wife says something like,”We should all go to Nashville together.” Then Becky will say the exact same thing a minute or two later. It eery how much they think alike...nice, but odd. They’ve both said that it feels like they’ve known each other their whole lives. Apart from me, they share many common experiences.
Well, the point of all this rambling is this: I found a sister. I couldn’t explain to my wife for a long time what was so special about Becky. My wife was shocked when I agreed to sing in public with her. I normally just sing to my wife. Becky asked, and I said,”Sure.” My wife told me in shock,"People have been asking you to sing for the twenty years I've known you!" All I could say is,”Becky’s special.” There honestly isn’t anything really romantic about it, and I think my wife sensed that from the beginning. I truly have a great amount of affection and probably love for Becky, but it’s as a sister. She says,”Love you,” each time we hug. It’s not romantic, though. It's deeper than that.
It sort of feels like I should feel guilty. I keep watching for warning signs from my wife that it bothers her to have this woman she just met hugging me and telling me she loves me. There haven't been any. She just invited Becky down to visit and spend a few days at our house. Becky is so incredibly open and honest that it seems to be something to just enjoy. Other people have told me their wives would be incredibly jealous, but mine is happy. She knows me well enough to know that this isn’t a romance. It’s family. I missed having her to talk to when good things happened and when life threw the bad things at me. If we had grown up together, it’s quite possible that something romantic could have developed. She told me one time,"No offense to your wife, but why couldn't we run into each other twenty years ago?" I showed my wife, and she laughed. She "gets it". It would have been nice, but we didn't. We ran into each other now, and all three of us feel like there must be a reason. All three of us have had our lives enriched by running into each other now where we are in life. At this point, it’s purely a very close, deep friendship that stayed alive for thirty-six years until we could find each other again. Nobody I talk to about it seems to understand. I think there are only three people who do: Becky, me, and my wife. I suppose those are the only three opinions that matter. I actually lost an infant sister just a year or two before I met Becky in kindergarten. She filled that role for the time we knew each other. She told me not too long ago,”You’ll always be Dougie to me. I kept a special place in my heart for Dougie all these years, and that’s where you’re staying.”
Last weekend, we were sitting chatting. Becky was talking about her marriage which truly isn’t very good. I was mostly trying to be supportive and listen. She told me,”You just need to find me a good man, big brother.” She smiled, winked, and it finally hit me.
That’s what was so special about Becky. I found a sister. It feels good, too.