Author Topic: Beautiful accidents...  (Read 5296 times)

Doug1222

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Beautiful accidents...
« on: October 03, 2012, 07:06:15 AM »
Hi, everybody. It's been a while since I made a new post, but I'd like to share something wonderful that happened to me recently.

I went to school in a TINY town for grade school. The whole town had 47 people. We lived way out in the country on a farm. There weren't a lot of kids there. I had a friend named Becky who was very dear to me. She was tiny and quiet and so sweet. We were in the same class in kindergarten, first, second, and third grade and did everything together. Then we moved away suddenly in third grade and I never saw her again...

Until a few months ago when she found me on Facebook! She sent a friend request and said,"I'm not sure if you remember me." I instantly did!! She was my best friend! Pretty soon after that, she sent one to my wife, also. I think that was probably to confirm that there wasn’t anything shady going on. She just missed her friend. Now she’s becoming best friends with my wife, also! She’s just such a sweet person and so funny!
 
Well, needless to say, a lot has happened in the last thirty-six years. She's on a second marriage (not a good one) and lost a teenage son to an accidental overdose a couple years ago. She's been through a whole lot of other stuff, too. I lost my brother and my dad, got married, nearly lost our son, and on and on. She’s been singing professionally since she was nineteen but never had a big break. I nearly got into the music industry, also. We’ve talked a lot about the past, and Becky had a much harder life than I knew growing up. She kept telling me,”I missed you so much.” There were things in her home life that made that make sense. I missed her, too. I didn’t even know how much until we re-connected. She hasn’t had an easy adult life, either. We talked about my sister who hasn’t spoken to my mom in two or three years and barely keeps in contact with me anymore. We talk about the past, the present, and the future. We go on and on trying to fill in the blanks from nearly forty years. Both of us can’t shut up when we’re talking. It seems like there’s just so much to say after so many years. It’s been maybe six months since she contacted me, and we still can’t quit talking. We have so much in common, and she has an incredible amount in common with my wife as well!

My wife and I have gone up twice to hang out with her. The first time was to watch her perform in a music show and then hang out and see her sing karaoke. She does that a lot just for practice and fun. It was amazing. She’s a phenomenal singer and songwriter. She waited for us during an intermission in her show, and the second I saw her, I remembered how much I cared for her. We just hugged and hugged. Last weekend, we went up to hang out with her again. I did a duet with her. We have so much fun hanging out with her. Each time we leave, my wife says,”That was so much fun! I really like her.” Then Becky will send me a message or something that says,”You have such a wonderful wife. I really like her!” Both of them have told me that they’re shocked how well they clicked. I’ll be chatting with Becky on the computer when my wife says something like,”We should all go to Nashville together.” Then Becky will say the exact same thing a minute or two later. It eery how much they think alike...nice, but odd. They’ve both said that it feels like they’ve known each other their whole lives. Apart from me, they share many common experiences.
 
Well, the point of all this rambling is this: I found a sister. I couldn’t explain to my wife for a long time what was so special about Becky. My wife was shocked when I agreed to sing in public with her. I normally just sing to my wife. Becky asked, and I said,”Sure.” My wife told me in shock,"People have been asking you to sing for the twenty years I've known you!" All I could say is,”Becky’s special.” There honestly isn’t anything really romantic about it, and I think my wife sensed that from the beginning. I truly have a great amount of affection and probably love for Becky, but it’s as a sister. She says,”Love you,” each time we hug. It’s not romantic, though. It's deeper than that.

It sort of feels like I should feel guilty. I keep watching for warning signs from my wife that it bothers her to have this woman she just met hugging me and telling me she loves me. There haven't been any. She just invited Becky down to visit and spend a few days at our house. Becky is so incredibly open and honest that it seems to be something to just enjoy. Other people have told me their wives would be incredibly jealous, but mine is happy. She knows me well enough to know that this isn’t a romance. It’s family. I missed having her to talk to when good things happened and when life threw the bad things at me. If we had grown up together, it’s quite possible that something romantic could have developed. She told me one time,"No offense to your wife, but why couldn't we run into each other twenty years ago?" I showed my wife, and she laughed. She "gets it". It would have been nice, but we didn't. We ran into each other now, and all three of us feel like there must be a reason. All three of us have had our lives enriched by running into each other now where we are in life. At this point, it’s purely a very close, deep friendship that stayed alive for thirty-six years until we could find each other again. Nobody I talk to about it seems to understand. I think there are only three people who do: Becky, me, and my wife. I suppose those are the only three opinions that matter. I actually lost an infant sister just a year or two before I met Becky in kindergarten. She filled that role for the time we knew each other. She told me not too long ago,”You’ll always be Dougie to me. I kept a special place in my heart for Dougie all these years, and that’s where you’re staying.”

Last weekend, we were sitting chatting. Becky was talking about her marriage which truly isn’t very good. I was mostly trying to be supportive and listen. She told me,”You just need to find me a good man, big brother.” She smiled, winked, and it finally hit me.
 
That’s what was so special about Becky. I found a sister. It feels good, too.
 :engel2:




« Last Edit: October 03, 2012, 02:33:16 PM by Doug1222 »

Terry

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Re: Beautiful accidents...
« Reply #1 on: October 03, 2012, 08:46:26 AM »

(((Doug)))

How nice to be reunited with your friend, Becky after so many years. Wishing you continued happiness and good times to come!!

Thanks so much for sharing this story with us!

Love,
Terry

browneyedgirl

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Re: Beautiful accidents...
« Reply #2 on: October 03, 2012, 08:48:20 AM »
Doug - great story!  Thank you for sharing.  :love4:
Tony Repola 07/20/66 – 03/29/09
I know you are fishing in the oceans and streams of heaven

Doug1222

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Re: Beautiful accidents...
« Reply #3 on: October 03, 2012, 11:25:52 AM »
Thanks, ladies! It's been so wonderful. I feel like a piece of me that was gone has returned. It has been a very long time since I felt this good. It's surreal. I think I'd forgotten what it was like to be happy. I do love Becky, and having more love in your life is a good thing! I'm happy to have her back.
 :love4:

It's just great!
 :icon_mrgreen:
« Last Edit: October 03, 2012, 12:24:19 PM by Doug1222 »

browneyedgirl

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Re: Beautiful accidents...
« Reply #4 on: October 03, 2012, 01:35:56 PM »
Awww...Doug, we all deserve to be happy, easier sad than done for sure...Sounds like she is equally greatful!
Tony Repola 07/20/66 – 03/29/09
I know you are fishing in the oceans and streams of heaven

Doug1222

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Re: Beautiful accidents...
« Reply #5 on: October 03, 2012, 01:50:22 PM »
Sounds like she is equally greatful!

Thanks, Pam! Yes, I think she is.

After the joke about "no offense to your wife", she said,"I totally don't want that to be taken the wrong way. I just mean we could have been there for each other all these years. I could have been friends with your wife longer, too. It feels like we had all these years stolen from us. I wish we could have been there for each other." It's good to know that now we can. I don't think people come into our lives by accident. Whatever the reason Becky came into our lives at this time, I'm happy.

We've both been through a lot. It's nice to be back in touch...and she's SOOOOO funny.
 :laughing6:
« Last Edit: October 03, 2012, 01:55:08 PM by Doug1222 »

Gail08

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Re: Beautiful accidents...
« Reply #6 on: October 03, 2012, 03:00:23 PM »
Doug, that is just so great.  I am so glad you found your friend again.  It sounds like the two of you can be a great help to each other.

I have gotten in contact with some of Jolene's friends and that has been a great help to me.  A couple of them have really been supportive.  I feel I still have a special connection to Jolene being in contact with her friends.

Thanks again for always listening.  I will always be here listening to you as well.

(((((Doug)))))


Take care,
Gail 
G                                  Sisters 2 the end
  A                                Friends 2 the end
     I                   _________________________
 J O L E N E              In my heart 4 ever

Doug1222

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Re: Beautiful accidents...
« Reply #7 on: October 03, 2012, 05:10:02 PM »
Thank you so much, Gail! It feels like after all these pieces of my heart being taken away...it just feels nice to have one put back.

It's a unique feeling for me. I'm glad you found a way to feel closer to Jolene, too!

(((((((Gail))))))))

Doug

Doug1222

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Re: Beautiful accidents...
« Reply #8 on: October 05, 2012, 06:18:27 AM »
Just popping back in to say that this is the most wonderful feeling I've had in many years. I feel like a part of me has healed. I had to share it. You guys crawled with me through working out problems for months. You might as well be with me for this.

It's simply lovely.

I can't even describe it properly because I've never felt it before. I talked with my wife about it, and she really does understand. I told her that I feel actual love for Becky that's like a sister. As most of you know, my wife's been around through all of the losses and knows the parts of me that were damaged. She knows this is one of them. The connection to my sister who died a year or two before I met Becky made perfect sense to her. That's what Becky became to me and now I have her back! She said that she's happy for me. We talked a lot about it and other things, too. What a wonderful addition to both of our lives.
 :icon_flower:

(What a wonderful wife I have, also! It makes me love her even more!!)

My brother's birthday is coming up and the baseball playoffs are about to start. Both of those things cause problems for me each year. He would've turned forty this year. It was just about this time last year that I went into a crisis leading to here. Having Becky around to help me through them this year will make it better than the last seventeen. I kept many of my posts here as a bit of a journal. I might have her read them to help her understand even more of what we missed. It just feels like we have SO much to catch up on. I do NOT think it's an accident that we ran into each other. The full extent of why will reveal itself eventually, I suppose. For this year, I think I'll choose to just be happy.

Becky's recording a CD this week, by the way. It's her first one after twenty-five years of singing live professionally. She's sung backup, but this one is hers. I'm going to help her put it out, I believe. We chatted for a couple hours when she was deciding whether or not to go ahead and do it. She's paying for the studio time herself, so it was a big decision. She'll come back with finished songs (a couple of them BEAUTIFUL originals). It's up to her to release the CDs. I just happen to know how to do that. It's fulfilling a lifelong dream. I think that's another reason we found each other.

Guess who convinced her she was good enough and should go ahead and do it?
 :icon_mrgreen:
« Last Edit: October 05, 2012, 06:36:42 AM by Doug1222 »

Doug1222

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Re: Beautiful accidents...
« Reply #9 on: October 12, 2012, 07:14:33 AM »
Well, we've been up to see Becky twice in the last month, and we're going back up this weekend. I'm going to sing with her. We're going to do some writing together, also. It's just so much fun. She loves it. My wife loves it. I love it. I've been euphoric. I found a sister!

I'm not sure if it's that I haven't felt this good in an extremely long time or if I've never felt this good before, but I'm going to sit back and just enjoy it.

She's probably bringing her daughter down for a weekend at our house in a couple weeks after she gets the masters for the songs.

What a great month the last month has been. This time last year, I was sleeping about every third day and had almost quit eating completely because I felt sick all the time. I think November or December of last year might have been the lowest point of my life. I really thought I was losing my mind and couldn't even figure out why. I lost thirty or forty pounds between October and showing up here in January. I thought I was going to throw away everything and barely even cared.

Now I am actually happy. Thank you to everyone for helping me sort out twenty years of junk. Thank you for listening.

From the bottom of my heart, thank you.
 :icon_flower:
« Last Edit: October 12, 2012, 07:23:20 AM by Doug1222 »

browneyedgirl

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Re: Beautiful accidents...
« Reply #10 on: October 12, 2012, 10:19:12 AM »
Awesome Doug!  :toothy9:
Tony Repola 07/20/66 – 03/29/09
I know you are fishing in the oceans and streams of heaven

Doug1222

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Re: Beautiful accidents...
« Reply #11 on: October 12, 2012, 11:25:39 AM »
Thank you, Pam!

Doug1222

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Re: Beautiful accidents...
« Reply #12 on: December 06, 2012, 08:41:44 PM »
I'm just bumping this up to go with the post about my friend's songs. It'll let people who didn't catch the whole thing the first time.

Here's the Becky story.
 :icon_flower:

Doug1222

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Re: Beautiful accidents...
« Reply #13 on: January 11, 2013, 10:00:01 AM »
Sorry for bumping this back up, everybody, but I want Helene to get a chance to read it when she can.
 :love4:

helene

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Re: Beautiful accidents...
« Reply #14 on: January 11, 2013, 02:22:21 PM »
Hey Doug,

Thank you for doing this! I have read part of your account of this Beautiful Accident in your life and indeed, this is a lovely and heartwarming account of your reunion with your long lost dear friend Becky and how she has become such an integral part in you and your wife's lives this recent past and now. What a blessed way to start this new year! I will look forward to reading the rest of your posts here over the weekend when I pop back in here periodically. Again, thank you so much for sharing such positive and uplifting news with all of us!

Love,

Helene.


Helene & Lesley