Author Topic: Funny how life goes  (Read 7059 times)


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Funny how life goes
« on: September 13, 2012, 09:41:00 AM »
 Over 10 yrs later and I find myself in the oddest of places in my life.  How did I  get here I have asked many times?  The answer I believe lies in the will of God.  

It was 10yrs ago in Aug when I found myself here for the first time,  after the sudden death of my mother, with all of its agonizing pain and dysfunctional family issues.  Writing here saved me, pulling me out of and through the sticky black muck we call grief.
Those friends who were faithful and loyal here were a beacon of light in the midst of my darkest years.  At one point I did not know how I would pull through this.  But eventually I was able to rise above it and started to give back by becoming the moderator here on webhealing.   It was then life took an interesting turn.

Three, or was it four years ago, as a moderator,  I answered a post from a dear one in the northern midwest area who had just tragically lost her son in an accident.  This precious one had the strength, courage, and compassion to donate her son's organs so that others might live.  I thanked her for this,  as that very same week,  hundreds of miles away,  my bosses husband was saved by the donation of a new liver.   And I was there to witness the transformation.  

It was a typical summer day in July.  My boss and coworkers were at  lunch when she got the call from Indpls that there was a liver available for her husband,  who only had days or short weeks to live.  It is difficult to describe how we felt that day.. excitement at a new chance for life.  Fear that he would not survive the surgery.  Grief for this one who died and for the family who is left behind to carry on.   It is during these times when its normal to ask  "why not him/her,  and why us?".   I can assure you these thoughts ran through all of our minds often.

To Indy they went,  where the surgery went well and new life was given.  Soon he returned home here where he could recover and gain his strength back.   Meanwhile back at webhealing, to this dear woman who lost her son.

She posted regularly about this son of hers.  How the funeral went.  How much she missed him , dazed as she was of course.  How she said goodbye before he was moved into the surgery room to harvest his organs.

Many times I was able to share with her my story of how I had recently witnessed my bosses amazing surgery and  his new hope for life.  Little by little,  week by week we exchanged tidbits of details of our experiences.  "where did you say his accident took place?  I asked one day.   A few days later,  "Where was his surgery?"    and then the pieces started to fit.    Her Patrick was my bosses husbands donor!  What are the odds?!

So we exchanged emails where she would share more info about what she knew,  and I would share what I knew.  Meanwhile,  back at work ,  my boss would mention here and there the comments that the hospital staff made: "those darn cars hitting motorcylces"  one nurse said.  "He was barely 20",  said another.  

 Both my boss and this new webhealing friend were wanting /needing to know who their donor/ recipient was. My boss would often cry out of gratitude for this stranger and for their grief.

Little did my boss know what I knew .  I wanted to be sure I put all the pieces together before I said anything to them.   But the pieces were fitting quite nicely! At one point my new webhealing friend said that the only thing she was told is that the recipient lived in Indiana and was into cars. (due to HIPPA laws donor and recipient name or info can not  be shared with families).  But  at this point we were 100% sure that her Patrick had just saved my bosses husbands life!  Two complete strangers meeting on webhealing in this unique and special way.  I am convinced it was a God thing.

Bosses husband came to our office one day,  just a few short weeks after the surgery.  By then I had informed my boss of what I knew.  She knew that her husband wanted and needed to know who his donor was,  for his own emotional healing of all of this.  And so she gave me permission to tell him!    By then I had a picture of Patrick.  So that day I took my bosses husband in a conference room and shared the news and the picture.  

You can pretty well guess what happened that day as I told him my story. Yep.  I cried,  bosses husband and his wife sobbed together,  and then the whole office cried right along with us as he held Patricks picture in his hands. How heart broken we all were for this Patrick  and for his precious mother who had chosen to donate.

A year and countless emails later,  I met Patricks mom.  The next year she was ready to meet Patricks  liver recipient,  my bosses husband.  So she high tailed it to Indiana and to my house,  where we all spent the weekend together,  talking, crying,  laughing, shopping, and developing an even more special friendship.  

This past February I found myself in need of more work hours.  So I randomly applied for a 2nd part time job, for anything and everything on these computer sights where the job descriptions are as vague as a cryptic code.  Twelved weeks later  I got a call for an interview.  By then the panic of needing more money had calmed down,  and I had completely forgotten that I had applied online.  

As I went to this interview I  still had NO IDEA what I had applied for.  All I knew is that I was sort of qualified from what I could tell on the computer sight.   During the interview, where I pulled off my ignorance quite nicely I might add,   I discoverd that I was sitting in  an interview for a TRANSPLANT  social worker!  I laughed when I found out,  and remember literally looking up and thinking  "God,  you DO have a sense of humor and a plan for me don't you?".
After a 2nd very intense interview,  I was hired (but you knew that was coming, didn't you?).    

So now for the past several months,  I find myself doing evaluations for those who need a transplant.   And I find myself KNOWING for sure how I got here .   It is only the hand of God who could have coordinated the events of the past four years, to prepare me for this job he had planned for me all along.

Oftentimes throughtout the process of putting the pieces together,  and then having the two of them meet,   I remember thanking God, ever so humbled,  that He chose ME of all people in this world,  to bring them together.   It has been a very important and dare I say necessary aspect for them  for some of their healing.

As for this humbled and grateful soul,  I can now use this experience to see both sides of the  transplant process,  and to encourage the recipients to write to their donor through the tranplant org  .   And even more importantly,  I can use my story to give hope to others that  God is still there, even in the midst of pain and darkness,  and that He IS working things out with a plan and a purpose.   IN HIS TIME.   not ours.

God bless each one of you here.  Take it from me, the one who thougth the death of her mother would kill her,   it does get easier.  There is a light at the end of the tunnel.  


« Last Edit: September 13, 2012, 10:09:24 AM by laurenE »


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Re: Funny how life goes
« Reply #1 on: November 26, 2012, 09:28:00 AM »
Thank you for sharing that beautiful story Lauren. It has only been 2 years for, but it does give me hope that God has a plan for me. He has done amazing things for since she passed. I often ask myself why is He still with me? I didn't feel like I deserve it, but He will never leave me or forsake me. Thanks again for giving me hope.