Author Topic: Just dropping in  (Read 1751 times)


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  • Tony Hood Sunrise 1/12/86 - Sunset 6/28/02
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Just dropping in
« on: August 22, 2012, 12:29:03 PM »
Hello all. I haven’t been here in a really long time. It got kind of sad to be here as much as I was. I had to pull away. On June 28th it has been 10 years for me, living without my Tony. I hope there will never be anything harder that I have to do in my lifetime. My husband and I are now divorced, though we remain GREAT friends and my youngest is now a 19 year old man. Though my journey with grief will never be over I have come out on the “other” side fairly well. Sure did take a while to get here, but I am a patient woman.

I just wanted to tell some of the newly bereaved I see on here that it can get better. I know it doesn’t feel like it. I used to be mad at people who told me such things. The pain will never, ever go away, but it will get “softer” with time. I remember reading things like that on this board and thinking these people are nuts! They are not and were not nuts. I was.

Come here and vent, vent, vent. If not for Web Healing I may have gone really nuts. I was told I was normal. I was told that I was understood. I was told that I was not crazy. I was told I had people who cared. I see some of the “old” ones still on here. It gives me great comfort. This board and the people here hold a very special place in my heart.

Much Love to All,
Dawn – Tony’s Mom
Dawn - Tony's Mom

I believe that imagination is stronger than knowledge. That myth is more potent than history. That dreams are more powerful than facts. That hope always triumphs over experience. That laughter is the only cure for grief ... And I believe that love is stronger than death.

AC Mom

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Re: Just dropping in
« Reply #1 on: August 22, 2012, 05:06:40 PM »

I hit the 10 year mark on June 25.  I agree completely with what you said.  Only I describe it as not getting better, it just gets different.

I recently told a friend who lost his son a couple of years ago, that I think I am just use to AC being gone.  Some Days I think he has been gone forever.



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    • “Grief is like the ocean; it comes on waves ebbing and flowing. Sometimes the water is calm, and sometimes it is overwhelming. All we can do is learn to swim.” –Vicki Harrison
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Re: Just dropping in
« Reply #2 on: August 22, 2012, 09:00:59 PM »

Hi Dawn!

Thanks for stopping by with an update! It's so nice to see your precious Tony's smile again! It's also good to hear that you're doing so well.
It will be 10 years this January since my oldest son died and I'll never get used to it. I 'do' understand what Peg was saying, though that it feels like they have been gone forever. I miss my children every hour of every day and I could never use the word 'soft' in the same context when talking about burying my children. But, we're all different. We all grieve differently. I used to see that word mentioned, too but I just could never 'go-there!'

For me, I have learned to live with this awful pain of losing all three of my children and although I have wonderful memories, there is a huge hole in my heart that will never be filled - not by anyone. Throughout my lifetime of grieving, as I lost my first child when I was young, I have always remained honest with my feelings. That has helped me to rejoin life and to also try and be a comfort to others and by just listening.

I agree with vent, vent and vent some more. The only ones who will understand this pain will be those who have also lost a child.

Stop by again when you find the time. We would love to hear from you, anytime!


Sending hugs & love and thoughts of your precious Tony,