Author Topic: just some thoughts  (Read 4145 times)

IMUM

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just some thoughts
« on: August 19, 2012, 12:42:58 PM »
hello everyone:)
 Just wanted to pop in and say "hello to all"
I've been doing well, life has gotten very clear to me as I had said before. Such a strong reality for me sometimes to accept, but I work on it by affirmations. And reminders what is good in the world, like my undying love for my husband and children and family. And life is worth all the hapiness, but at some point in life, it needs to be balanced out with sadness.
I would have to say accepting is my hardest grief stage right now. But I work on it daily, and the Good Lord gives me grace and strenght and days.
I have a fear of losing more somedays, like I'm not ready right now to handle much more. If anyone else has felt that way, I'd love to hear you.
Also, I am jealous now of others who have their moms still and their lives are still bubble perfect. Well to me it looks that way, I do remind myself that we alll have our struggles, but that's what crosses my mind often when I see my happy friends. Sucks, but I just sigh and tell myself its okay, I lie and say" well, I've been thru it and it took me very deep in sorrow, and when their parents pass, I can be their for them" that's my consolation. Soooo many thoughts in this mind of mine. It will slow down right? Well I hope and pray it does.
Thanks so much for listening, I haven't posted in ahwile and its good to know I can whenever I want and feel the need. Even if its months apart. Thanks webhealing for listening, I feel much better when I write here what I don't want to explain to someone who may not know what I'm talking about or feeling.

:)
Melody

Terry

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    • “Grief is like the ocean; it comes on waves ebbing and flowing. Sometimes the water is calm, and sometimes it is overwhelming. All we can do is learn to swim.” –Vicki Harrison
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Re: just some thoughts
« Reply #1 on: August 20, 2012, 10:39:19 AM »

I have a fear of losing more somedays, like I'm not ready right now to handle much more. If anyone else has felt that way, I'd love to hear you.


Hi Melody - I can certainly relate to 'waiting for the other shoe to drop' as I like to put it and it's very normal. I've had to deal with losing many and over and over. Time is not always a friend but we do the best we can at the time.
You're fortunate to have a strong support system: your husband, friends and other family members. And, we deal with our losses the best we can because as we've all learned, they happen at times without warning.

It's very traumatic, losing someone we love so much.

True that you never have to explain here. Your heart is understood. Thanks for sharing how you've been doing. I always love to hear from you.

(((((((((Melody)))))))))

Love,
Terry

IMUM

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Re: just some thoughts
« Reply #2 on: August 25, 2012, 06:09:50 PM »
thanks Terry:)

i just wanted to let you know i went for an acupuncture session and it was great for releasing my emotions. it caught me off guard how well it has worked. i am going to continue getting treatments. i do find it hard to show my emotions and to actually acknowledge them. and crying is good, but not enough somedays. i honestly hate being angry cause i dont like to take it out on others, i know im human. and that emotion is neccessary. but for me, its not one i like. journalling has helped somewhat, somedays, i just want to be alone. with my thoughts.
hope you are well. i will keep in touch:)
((((((((terry)))))))
what a journey....what a journey....


melody:)

Terry

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Re: just some thoughts
« Reply #3 on: August 25, 2012, 07:59:35 PM »

I'm so glad to hear that the acupuncture sessions have been helpful for you! Thanks for letting me know that.

Keep in touch. Always here for you!

((((((((Melody)))))))

Love,
Terry

MissingDaddy58

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Re: just some thoughts
« Reply #4 on: September 06, 2012, 05:49:41 AM »
IMUM-

       I too get jealous of people.  It seems everywhere i go there is someone there with their dad. I lost my father in January. Everything seems to remind me of him. I always feel angry and irritable and like you, I hate it, my fiance' takes it surprisingly well. I'm fortunate to have him, I'm not sure where I would be without his understanding. I dont talk to him much, I'm not good at talking to people, but he knows me well and is there just when i need him, no more no less..  I hope to be in touch with you. we seem to have a little in common and it would be nice to chat with you sometimes. I hope everything goes ok for you in your time of grieving. take care.
       

Doug1222

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Re: just some thoughts
« Reply #5 on: September 07, 2012, 08:40:33 AM »
Hi, Melody! It's so good to see you. We're always here when you need to talk.

I'm glad to see you're keeping on. It's all we can do.

(((((((((Melody))))))))))

IMUM

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Re: just some thoughts
« Reply #6 on: September 08, 2012, 06:30:32 PM »
thank you both:)
 yes doug im pushing thru, i have come a long long way, went to crazy and back, and have really grown from this. im proud of my work. i feel stronger that i am actually starting to know "me" more. never thought id see this checkpoint, cause living this past year was a bit hellish.
i know now ive got to stop somedays and just be.not go go go and avoid.
its a new way of thinking and im thankful.

melody

Mommysbabygirl

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Re: just some thoughts
« Reply #7 on: November 26, 2012, 09:44:22 AM »
Hi melody, I'm glad you are doing better and find "you" again. I am still working on that. I know how you feel about posting here as opposed to talking to someone. When I come on here I know I can say how I feel and someone will understand. Though my family experienced the same loss it's like they don't understand. I don't get it, but that's ok. I journal too, but I find it easier to express myself here.

What made you do acupuncture? Was it for the purpose of helping you heal from your loss?

IMUM

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Re: just some thoughts
« Reply #8 on: December 19, 2012, 11:55:57 PM »
Hi mommysbabygirl,
I really like webhealings. I'm so glad I found this page and joined. I was never one to share or be close to others, like get really vulnerable, but as i grew older I opened up more. Best thing I can ever do for my health is let all the pain out and all the emotions as well. :)
I chose accupuncture to see it it would help me release feelings that I knew weren't surfacing, like a good cry just wasn't satisfying enough, but man, my first session, my traditional Chinese doctor didn't tell me what she was going to do or how I was going to feel, she just listened to me and what I had been going tru and she went to work.
She left me inthe room with the needles in place and honestly within 2 minutes I was bawling a deep sorrowful cry, one I hadn't ever experienced before. And I let the floodgates open. It lasted a good 10 minutes and I was feeling lighter more clear headed. Also really centered grounded and calm. It was amazing.i raved about it to my husband who just said" that's good, I'm glad " lol. He hasn't a clue. After that I was able to step back and take a good look at who I am, what I believe in, what makes me happy and everything like that. I'm a work in progress. Hope that helps you. I'd recommend anyone to acupuncture any day.
Hope all is well with you:)
Take care ((()))