Author Topic: I ran away  (Read 4428 times)

stampingwidow

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I ran away
« on: August 22, 2012, 07:43:16 PM »
Sunday was Robert's family reunion.  My daughter & I did not attend.  At the business meeting each person has to tell how they are part of the family.  Later you are asked to tell of any deaths in the family during the past year.  As secretary I prepared sign-in sheets and places for people to record births & deaths etc.  I gave all the secretarial materials to one of Roberts cousin with a letter of resignation.  I could not face announcing his death to all those people.  I could not face all the well-meaning out of state people who would offer condolences but would expect me to console them on his loss.  Monday morning a few of us got together for breakfast & that was nice as they were supportive but not overwhelming.   Robert strongly disliked how deaths in the family were handled and when he was president they were not announced but they have returned to that format.  I think he would have supported my decision not to attend.  I will undoubtedly return in a rear or two but this year felt the need to protect myself from unnecessary pain.  Ann

Jean D

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Re: I ran away
« Reply #1 on: August 22, 2012, 08:06:28 PM »
(((((((((((((((Ann))))))))))))))))))))
I've ran away from tons of stuff these past months...I'm sure many of us have. And I know your Robert supported you all the way with your decision.
Jean

Terry

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    • “Grief is like the ocean; it comes on waves ebbing and flowing. Sometimes the water is calm, and sometimes it is overwhelming. All we can do is learn to swim.” –Vicki Harrison
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Re: I ran away
« Reply #2 on: August 22, 2012, 09:13:33 PM »

Ann - You made a decision that was in your best interest - to take better care of yourself. Good for you!! I agree with Jean...we have been there and I know Robert was with you.

(((((((((((Ann)))))))))))

Love,
Terry

rayinsc

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Re: I ran away
« Reply #3 on: August 22, 2012, 10:03:19 PM »
Ann, you did not run away, you took care of yourself as did your daughter.  There is a time and a place for everything, this was not the time. 

By the way, I would have done the same as you chose to do, and in fact I have avoided or left get-to-gathers where I felt strained to attend.
Ray in Santa Cruz

MyLou

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Re: I ran away
« Reply #4 on: August 23, 2012, 03:01:01 AM »
(((((((((((((((((((( ANN )))))))))))))))))))))))))


I think you did the right thing, and Robert supported you all the way.


Always,

Lisa
"Soulmates Forever"

I miss you every second of everyday My Love

I know I will see you again

jasonkl

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Re: I ran away
« Reply #5 on: August 23, 2012, 04:34:50 PM »
((((((((((Ann))))))))))

Taking care of yourself is not running away. You still helped them with perations and gave them the materials.  This is a new normal. And I would like to think that the family would understand. And even go as far to think to themselves why did I attend this right after I lost a loved one. You did what was best for you. I believe that your right and he would most defantly support your decision.

Jason

gaberax

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Re: I ran away
« Reply #6 on: August 23, 2012, 09:05:29 PM »
(((((Ann)))))

You have to do what is best for you now.  I have turned down invitations, skipped holidays, been hold up alone in my troll cave for DAYS.

We have all suffered a tremendous loss.  To those who understand it doesn't matter.  Those that don't understand don't matter.

roseygirl61

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Re: I ran away
« Reply #7 on: August 24, 2012, 12:49:58 PM »
Ann,
You did what is right for you and that is important!  Sometimes we all need to do that and don"t.

Thinking of you.

Rose

browneyedgirl

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Re: I ran away
« Reply #8 on: August 27, 2012, 10:21:56 AM »
Ann - how are you doing?  :icon_flower:
Tony Repola 07/20/66 – 03/29/09
I know you are fishing in the oceans and streams of heaven

stampingwidow

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Re: I ran away
« Reply #9 on: August 28, 2012, 02:03:14 PM »
Thanks everyone for the support.  The following morning I went out for breakfast with a few of his cousins and that went well.  It was like standing up in front of a crowd and announcing his death.

This Saturday my daughter & I attended a family baby shower.  The party was lovely, people were upbeat and the focus was on the new baby & it's parents not on me.  It was a special day & they made me feel loved & cared about without embarrassing me.

So I guess I am learning to pick and choose what I do.  In February I resigned from my many Church responsibility.  No one stepped into my position as moderator and things were not going well for the Church so I agreed to return to that position.  I am standing firm on my decision to no longer be president of the women's group or be on the Christian Ed. committee.  They do not like it, but I am not ready to return to the other duties and deal with the estate etc.  I am trying to create a good new normal for me and people will have to get used to it.  The moderator position forces me to think of things other than my self and that is good.  Allowing myself to be submerged in Church activities would not be good for me.  I am still absentminded etc.  I could not be what they need and those jobs are not what I need.  Although I take my Children's opinions into consideration I am becoming a bit more independent.  Making decisions about our farm is not easy but I know that Robert trusted me to handle them & not be any ones puppet.   I am shocking  some people but I have some cheering me on my path to independence.

browneyedgirl

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Re: I ran away
« Reply #10 on: August 28, 2012, 03:24:49 PM »
 :wav:

I too am cheering you on, Ann.  Thanks for the update.  Keep going, I know Robert is proud.
Tony Repola 07/20/66 – 03/29/09
I know you are fishing in the oceans and streams of heaven